How to get a lifestyle slave/ maid arrangement with a Mistress

Picture the following scenario:

Phone rings, it is a Would-be slave calling a Mistress he would like to serve (we'll skip the introductory remarks).
Mistress: "What are your interests?"
Would-be slave (usually nervously): "i'd like to be a sissy maid, get dressed up by You and do chores."
Mistress: "Oh yes, I like to do that sort of thing, when can you come?"
Would-be slave (breaths sigh of relief): "Er...is...is... Thursday at s...s...seven OK, Mistress?"
Mistress (pauses, looks in diary): "I can do that time. Now My tribute is £200 an hour."
Would-be slave (gulps) : "Er...well i don't actually have any er...money, i...i... was wondering if i...er... could just s...s...serve You."
The Mistress' response to this ranges from hanging up to a polite "sorry I always demand tribute" to something a good deal less polite. The result is the same the would-be slave remains would-be.

The moral of this tale, which happens quite a lot, is that Dommes are not charities who provide free services to desperate would-be slaves. Domme-ing itself is an expensive activity for a Mistress in terms of buying dungeon equipment and other materials like clothes, make-up, condoms and poppers etc as well as paying the rents on places for dungeons. That is before a Mistress then factors in Her own living costs.

All but a tiny minority of Mistresses do it for a living even if it is their lifestyle choice as well and there are many, many of would-be slaves out there willing to pay good cash to do the most menial tasks for them. Putting it in house-buying language it is a seller's market not a buyers one - the sellers being the Dommes and the buyers being the slaves.

So perhaps not surprisingly, given that it is not easy, i have been asked many times how it is possible to end up in a lifestyle arrangement partly because i am extremely lucky to have one with the fabulous Mistress Scarlett Thorne, where i serve Her almost daily mainly has Her maid, sometimes Her confidente and on occasions helping Her in sessions.

The answer is that in reality it is much, much harder to end up in a lifestyle arrangement than it is to be thrown out of one as a slave.

i know of at least two Mistresses who in the last 12 months have sacked Their lifestyle slaves because They were unhappy about some aspect of the slaves' lives outside service or commitment to Them. In that sense i am also lucky that i serve a Mistress who is very accommodating of my other life and shows a great deal of patience, but the nature of lifestyle arrangements will be the subject of another post.

As i see it there are several routes to becoming a lifestyle slave.

Every so often, but this is extremely rare, a Mistress will advertise for one to do the domestic duties and menial tasks for Her so she can concentrate on important things. i have heard of interviews taking place, but this is more for slaves with a lot of time on their hands and few other personal commitments or specific skills or tasks like gardeners or drivers.

There is also love through the fetish scene. i know of cases of Dommes and subs getting together properly and even marrying, although i also know that some of these relationships that have broken down horribly. There was one case i know of where the police were even called in.

Then there are the odd cases of subs who are virtually part of the BDSM scene full time and are well known enough for Mistresses to ask them to come and serve. This includes my dear friend @maid_felicity, who is extremely popular among Mistresses across the UK but is still waiting to get collared - the term used to confirm a lifestyle relationship which is often accompanied by a collar being put on a slave by a Mistress.

Generally a Mistress is more likely to go for a slave She knows and trusts. One Mistress i know of actually keeps a chart of time served which allows them greater access as long as they have shown they deserve Her trust. She won't go away with slaves or let them too close unless they have served requisite numbers of weeks, months and years. But even this will not lead to a lifestyle type arrangement.

The main route - particularly for those of us who live double lives - involves a great deal of luck and hard work, my story is typical of that.

Basically, you meet a Mistress by seeing Her for paid sessions and then almost by chance, or by Her whim certainly not yours, She decides to let You a bit more into Her life. Over time you earn Her trust more by being willing to do jobs for Her and eventually after months maybe years you end up serving Her more and more in your daily life.

In some ways i got there quite quickly but even in the year and a bit since i first sessioned with Scarlett Thorne i didn't realise that i had effectively moved into a lifestyle arrangement until She pointed it out because the changes happened in small steps and gradually. So i actually feel like i got to the point by accident, although i am delighted i have.

In that sense it is not dissimilar to a friendship - except it is a Mistress/ slave relationship (although it can be a form of friendship too as it is with Scarlett Thorne and me) - in that it grows naturally over time and has results of bringing the two of Y/you closer together through mutual trust.

i was actually very fortunate that i got baptised in Her piss quite early in my service to Scarlett Thorne because She liked me for some reason i haven't fatrhomed and i was given a collar on my first anniversary as Her tranny sub to cement that relationship.

But there is an important ingredient to it that is essential and that is you need to prove to the Mistress that you are willing to work really hard and accept that the reward is the service itself and the chance to be in Her presence a lot. For the slave it is primarily a lifestyle focussed on devotion not pleasure or even fantasy.

In my case i am actually allowed keys to @TrannyFlat, but this is only so i can let myself in to clean the place up when Mistress is away. When i am there Scarlett Thorne always gives me a long list of tasks such as making the bed, doing the washing up, dusting, cleaning the bathroom, hoovering, scrubbing the floors, polishing the mirrors, washing the clothes, hanging washing up or puitting it away, sorting out boxes, making endless cups of coffee, serving drinks...well you get the drift.

i spend a lot of time on my knees not for any 'play' reasons but to get the chores done properly. i also have secretarial duties and act as an alarm clock many mornings for Mistress.

Damn! She works me hard. i'm sometimes literally running around the apartment trying to keep up with Her demands and i've got a long list of things which still need to be done.

Apart from the fact i can dress as a girl (and sometimes give people a blowjob), it is not exactly glamorous. i'm not complaining because i love serving Scarlett Thorne and it means i get to spend hours with Her. i actually even like the chores.

But to underline the message Mistress Thorne on occasions will say: "Work hard or go!"

There are of course rewards. At the moment it means i get far more time with Mistress than most or perhaps all of Her other slaves, even though there are others She has in Her inner circle. She sometimes gives me things like a dress to say 'thank you'.

Then there is always the odd bit of what some might call 'play' but is more of a serious motivational part of the lifestyle when Mistress uses things like a butt plug or electrics on me or just gives me a good beating. i gather the next 'motivational method' will be nipple clamps.

But the hard work sums up the whole point of a lifestyle arrangement. It is not for fun it is to allow Mistress to have time to get on with Her more important tasks or just relax while the menial time consuming tasks are done by a slave.

i will soon post a blog on what is meant by a lifestyle arrangement because i think there are some misconceptions about this and of course it means different things to different Mistresses.

If you are a tranny or a sub seeking advice on any issues that concern you then contact me on trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah.

A survival guide for double lives (5) - How to lie and avoid being caught out by your body language

One of my closest tranny friends @PrincessTST suggested this post a while back so i have been doing a little bit of research into it. @PrincessTST, like me, knows only too well that to survive over a sustained period leading a double life you need to be convincing and most of all you need to be able to lie very well eve when put under interigatio by a suspicious partner, which i often am.

In previous posts i have dealt with possible cover stories and how well you need to be prepare them and the sort of detail you need to go to make sure you are safe. But you also need to be ready for surprise challenges, essentially always on your guard.

For example the other day i came in home late after work (yes, genuinely work ot serving Mistress), which happens a lot n my line of business and also provides good cover. But as i was taking off my coat my partner asked: "So who is your Mistress?"

To say my blood froze would be an understatement for the Siberian sensation that gripped my heart for a moment and fortunately my back was turned. She then said: "I keep thinking you are having an affair."

At that point i relaxed. As i am not having a affair i could go into lausible deniability mode and just talk about work, which bores her anyway. The reference to Mistress though, even with its double meaning, had slightly unnerved me because obviously i may not be having an affair but i am having an equally intense but different experience in service to Scarlett Thorne.

That little episode got me thinking again about how to lie in not letting yourself getting caught out and i think the crucial thing here is body language.

So i did some research of various signs that interigators in the police and security organisations look for and found out classic things people do when they lie, which means any of us having a secret other life should avoid doing them like the plague.

1. Don't hesitate emotionally
Delayed emotions are a classic sign somebody is lying apparently. So if you are accused it is best to either laugh straight away, because that's an easy one, or look offended. It will give you a moment to think your next move too.

2. Don't overdo or underdo your emotions
A short reaction is all that is required. Hamming your emotions or going on too long is another give away. React, then look serious. However, make sure that your whole face (eyes, jaw, cheeks and mouth) expresses the emotion, because a partial expression is also a giveaway.

3. Do not be defensive
Acording to police interrigation manuals, a liar will take a defensive attitude, while an honest person will go on the attack.
I can't believe you would accuse me of that, it's not as if you don't work late! - Good
How can you think I'd do that? - Bad

4. Avoid putting objects between you and your accuser
According to experts, putting objects between you and your accuser is a classic sign of lying. it is the mind looking for defence because it knows you are in trouble.

5. Do not let the subject drop
If your accuser changes the subject quickly this can be a trick to see if you look relieved. Maintain your anger for a short while and bring the subject back, thst's a pretty strong sign of innocence.

6. Face your accuser and make eye contact
Do not turn away or hide your face. It's a sure sign of guilt. look the other person in the ye. It takes some nerve but is the best way to defend yourself.

7. Remain natural in your movements
A liar is apparetly concetrating on his or her words so much that he or she becomes rigid and hardly moves. So try to move naturally. i must admit i have a problem with this area because my hands shake, but i can always put this down to my asthma which ofte causes me to shake. This is a particularly tough trick.

8. Control your hands and legs
Keep yourself open, do not cross your legs or arms and do not let your hands wander to your face. The latter is a big problem for me because i do it as a nervous habit whether i'm lying or not. But closed body language is a sign of a liar, so avoid it.

9. Do not parrot words or use long phrases
A liar will ofte repeat what the accuser has said in the answer. So in answer to do you have a Mistress?
No! - good
No I do not have a Mistress - bad

10. Do not change the subject
If you are in the middle of the argument it is bettr to be direct and keep it simple. Going off at a taget or trying to change the subject is a sure sign of guilt.

11. Do not be monotone
If your words have emphasis ad are not a monotone it sounds ore genuine and less like you are concentrating on maintaining a lie.

12. Keep it simple
Stick to your story and do not use elaborate words. Use words you would normally use, overly sophisticated phrases are also a giveaway.

13. Be careful with sarcasm
This is a sig of lying, but can still work in small doses if it is normal for you to use it in conversation or arguments generally.

Of course there are things which hard to hide, like my shaking hands or going extremely pale or your heart suddenly accelerating. In these cases just take deep breaths or run to the toilet and at least make it sound as though you are having a pee. It will give you a chance to rub some colour in your face even if it looks suspicious.

If you need help and advice as a tranny or a sub email trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah.

Mistress' Motivational Maiding Methods

Mistress Scarlett Thorne is launching a fabulous new maid training service which i will be assisting with. For further details on enrolling scroll down. If you want to find out more of what you could experience or are just curious about the way of Dommes then read on.

As those who follow me on Twitter are already probably fed-up to the teeth in hearing about, there is nothing that makes me happier than being allowed to go and serve Mistress Scarlett Thorne, almost daily now as a maid and sometimes er... other things.

Arguably, being given the opportunity to spend lots of time with a Mistress and serve Her as well as being able to tranny-up in proper clothes rather than men's ones, should all be motivational enough to work hard and do a good job. But of course for various reasons it does not always work out this way and Dommes feel the need to motivate their slaves and subs in other ways to improve their performance.

Serving Scarlett Thorne has allowed me to experience a few of these methods which as far all have their pros and cons. essentially though they are from the traditional carrot and stick school of motivation, just that less conventionally some of them including the butt plug are arguably both.

Below are some of the methods along with my personal ratings out of 5 on how effective they are.

The Butt Plug:

Stick rating: 3 to 5 (depending on size)
Carrot rating: 3
Convenience: 3
Overall effectiveness: 4

As i have written at length about my  Adventures with a Butt Plug series it seems right to start with this popular motivational method used by Mistresses.

Pros: The great thing about a butt plug is that it is the perfect case of something acting as both carrot and stick at the same time. This method is also in easy to do and stays with a maid/ slave throughout her or his service and sometimes afterwards.

The butt plug certainly helps a maid keep good posture (essential for decorum and looking properly feminine) and it does focus the mind somewhat on the task in hand as well as what's inside you.

It also adds a great deal to being beaten on your backside in terms of potential pain and discomfort although actually it can add a lot of pleasure too (just don't admit it to Mistress when that's the case).

If it is a large butt plug the pain inflicted can teach a sub a valuable lesson especially if Mistress is inserting it Herself and is quite rough about it. As i've said before i've been left in a cold sweat shaking from the experience. On the other hand a nicer fitting size is extremely pleasurable for a maid and is actually a reward for good service.

Another advantage is that a Mistress does not even have to be in the building to insist a maid or sub has a butt plug inserted.

Cons: There is one major con, especially where a Mistress isn't in a position to keep an eye on the sub in question. Essentially it is that the great joy of having a butt plug inside is being able to sit down and jiggle around a bit. A Mistress will want the maid to be busy on her feet getting on with tasks, but there is a bit of an insentive to sit down and make the most of what is inside.

Beating:

Stick rating: 3-5 (depending on implement and severity)
Carrot rating: 2
Convenience: 5
Overall rating: 4

Pros: The great advantage of this time honoured method is its simplicity, speed and directness. A Mistress can dish out instant punishment when She is displeased or encouragement to get a sub to work harder. This is after all the method people used to use to train dogs, although i should say that Scarlett Thorne would never hit a dog. But th point is that evn the most stupid slave will understand the quick message of a well aimed smack.

As an example, when i was mopping up Mistress Scarlett Thorne's piss off the dungeon floor after a session with another slave yesterday, She started beating me with Her hand shouting: "Mop up faster you little bitch! Hurry up! Hurry up!" while raining blows down on me. The memory will stay with me for a long time i hope.

Personally, i quite enjoy being beaten although i always curl up in self defence and it does help. Scarlett Thorne is very good at making it both a painful punishment and fun, which i guess is hardly surprising from a pro-Domme with more than a decade of experience. So it is a bit of a carrot as well as being an obvious stick (often literally).

It has to be said that when implements such as the came come into play then it is a lot more stick than carrot, although there are many who love being beaten with a cane and other things as well. i have to say i had my first caning the other day on the soles of my feet and i was crying.

Cons: Hard to think of any cons, but there is a minor problem with slaves who can't have marks left on them. In this case though the flat of the hand is pretty effective without leaving any evidence.

Electrics:

Stick rating: 5
Carrot rating: 4
Convenience: 1
Overall effectiveness: 5

Pros: In my humble opinion this is by far the most effective method in motivational maiding and cause enormous pain and pleasure. There are times you can literally fall to the floor in agony, but the buzz it gives you is also extremely stimulating.

Essentially it involves an eletrical battery powered device being tied on to the maid or usually stuck down her panties with two or more wired going out to stick on pads then attached to strategically sensitive spots. It is up to Mistress then to switch it on and turn up the intensity as such when She feels like it. Scarlett Thorne has a remote control which can be uised through brick walls.

It certainly makes you want to work quickly and well, especially when it is used for punishment and you know Mistress can turn it up at any moment. In fact there is nothing better for controlling a sub.

You can also go outside with the device.

Cons: The equipment can be bulky and it is fiddly to put on.

Chastity and releases:

Stick rating: 5 for chastity, 0 for releases
Carrot rating: 0 for chastity, 5 for releases
Convenience: 5 without devices, 1 with devices
Overall effectiveness: 4

Pros: Regular readers of this blog will have seen my musings on the importance of chastity in a Mistress' armoury and in the bond between Her and a slave.

As a long term method this is highly effective and the threat that it can be extended on a whim certainly focuses a slave's mind on performing well. Likewise the reward of a release, especially after some time in chastity is extremelymotivating.

Cons: It may not have the instant effect desired becuse chastity is something that taks time to properly inflict pain.

Also it relies entirely on trust and a slave being totally obedient to a Mistress. The only way around this is using devices which are expensive and difficult for many subs to wear in their normal vanilla lives.

Rewards:

Stick rating: 0
Carrot rating: 5
Convenience: 3
Overall effectiveness: 4

Pros: While service itself is nice, the promise of play or shopping trips or the odd little gift from a Mistress makes the sub feel appreciated and want to work harder as it does in other areas of life. The reward can also provide the Mistress with some fun too. Scarlett Thorne has been very generous to me especially with shopping trips.

Cons: If this is used to often a sub can forget that the reward of being able to serve is good enough in itself and it can become about getting something from Mistress. This ultimately leads to surliness and sulking when the rewards don't come.

Threat of the sack/ exile:

Stick rating: 5
Carrot rating: 0
Convenience: 5
Overall effectiveness: 5

Pros: There is no punishment greater than being exiled by a Mistress or even told you can't come and serve again. The threat of it should for a proper sub focus the mind completely on getting things right.

Cons: There is a certain finality about this method when used and usually no return. i have known one slave to be allowed back by Scarlett Thorne, but it is fair to say it might be a last chance.

If you want to enter a maid training course text Mistress Scarlett Thorne on 07910476639. The basic course is £120 and a little more for extras.

If you want any help and advice about being a tranny or a sub then e-mail me at trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me at @DaniTallulah.

Adventures with a Butt Plug (part 3) - a guide to doing it yourself

Butt plugs can play a great part in a full session with a Mistress as a means of stretching you for a full strap-on f***ing or part of a whole miriad of tortures being inflicted on your body. Scarlett Thorne is particularly fond of shoving electric butt plugs up into Her slaves which certainly gives you a buzz and the old leap and yelp as the dial gets turned up and down.

However, the great thing about a butt plug, as mentioned in previous posts, is that it is something you can take out of the dungeon to yourself or even in a none BDSM context if you just have an enjoyment of feeling that you are getting f***ed, although trust me it is not nearly the same as the real thing.

i first experienced self buggeration - i think that's probably the term - with a butt plug as "homework" set by Mistress Scarlett Thorne as part of my whore training. Doing the odd session every month was not good enough to stretch me properly and the body does readjust back over time. As anybody who has followed my butt plug adventures on Twitter will know i have had great fun despite the trials and tribulations i outlined in my last Butt Plu Epic post.

But to do it properly, get the enjoyment, not injure yourself and not end up being publicly embarrassed you need to do it right and in the right place. For this reason part 3 deals with how to put a butt plug up your own arse, after all Mistress should have to be constantly bothered by you, She should feel She can just instruct you to do it.

1. Get your equipment.

Necessary items: Butt plug, condoms, lube
Useful extras: Poppers, a thong and a pair of large panties

Make sure the butt plug is the right size. Initially you will probably need advice and a Mistress can advise you on this, but over time you will know. In my case Scarlett Thorne lent me a butt plug but normally you would need to go to a sex, gay or tranny shop or get one off the internet. In terms of size it must be big enough to stretch you and feel invasive buty small enough to fit in without causing injury.

Condoms are easily picked up from pharmacists and are necessary for health and cleanliness reasons. You can also get lubricant from pharmacists, personally i use the one supplied by Boots which is reasonably priced and effective.

Poppers can be got from gay and tranny bars, clubs and shops as well sex shops. They are Alkyl Nitrates which come in small bottles and are sniffed to enhance sexual feeling, but more importantly to relax your anal muscles. With these you can usually go for a bigger size of butt plug.
Warning: Handle with care. Do not drop the liquid on your skin or clothes because it will burn and scar you.

Thong and panties can be picked up from clothes stores obviosly. They are useful for keeping a butt plug in.

2. Find an appropriate location

Unless you live alone or have a partner who shares your interests do not do it at home. Instead this is something that can easily be done at work if you are careful, especially office based jobs.

i always do the operation as such in a cubicle in one of the quieter toilets.

i have also used a butt plug in a hotel room when i've been away and i've used it on a train which was a particularly enjoyable experience. Again on the train i stuck the BP my arse in a toilet cublicle, which was quite challenging but worth it.

3. Preparation

So you are in a quiet place, probably a toilet, you have all the necessary equipment and a re ready to go.

*Strip down below the waste, take off your shoes, trousers (if you're in normal vanilla clothes) and underwear.

*If you have poppers take them now. Sniff it very hard two or three times, at least once in each nostrel but no more. You may need to sniff later but this stuff does kill your brain cells so don't over use. Be careful not to spill any liquid, put the lid back on tightly and then place the bottle in a safe place. Waiti a minute for the effect to begin.

*Put a condom on the butt plug stretching it down so it fully covers the base. If you intend to have it there for more than an hour then put two condoms on. This is to keep the butt plug clean, protect you from germs. Condoms are after all disposable.

*Spread lube over the butt plug starting from the tip where it should be heaviest. The tip is the after all the first point of contact.

*Spread some lub on your own anus and push it in a bit. Do not over use the lube because it could slip out.

*Stick a finger or two into your anus, move them around as a little bit of early stretching.

4. Insertion

*Spread your legs and bend forward. There is a little debate about this, but i find it helps.

*Start taking deep and regular breaths and try to relax your muscles.

*Push the butt plug in gently.

*If it reaches a point of resistance (it should) pull it out and then push it back in again. Keep doing this while breathing deeply because it will allow you to open up to accept it.

*After a few times of putting it in and pulling out, push the butt plug in all the way and push hard at the end. This may hurt a little.

*Stand still for a few moments to allow the butt plug to settle into place. Keep taking deep breaths.

*Clamp your muscles around the butt plug and make sure it is properly in.

5. Securing the butt plug in place.

*If you have a thong put it on and pull it up as far as possible and it will help hold the butt plug there.

*Then put on the bigger panties, if you have them, which literally act as a safety net.

*Afterward, if you are not in tranny clothes, put on your boxer short sn or other man underwear over the top. Then put on your trousers if you are wearing them.

NB Obviously in many ways it is easier to use a butt plug if you are trannied up in a dress. The thong and panties are not necessary but are advisable especially for those who are new to this sort of thing. A butt plug dropping out at work or in public can be pretty embarrassing.

6. Removing the butt plug

This can be surprisingly difficult, especially after it has been in for a while. Sometimes it is ready to just slip out but actually i often find it more painful to remove. The muscles have often clamped hard around it and are unwilling to let go. You can pull it out and try not to yelp, but here is an easier suggestion.

*Squat slightly or just sit on a toilet.

*Put your hand underneath you and hold on to the base of the butt plug.

*Use your muscles to push as if you were having a shit and pull the butt plug. It should come out quite easily with just a little pain.

*There will almost be shit on the butt plug unless you have had an enema, which is unlikely if you have put it in at work or outside a dungeon. So wipe the shit off with toilet paper and throw it in the toilet.

*Then remove the condoms.

*Wrap the condoms in paper or tissue and throw them away discretely in a bin.

*Put the butt plug in a bag with the other gear and hide it properly in a safe place preferably with a lock. A work locker is ideal.

Adventures with a butt plug (part 2) - trials and tribulations

Let me set out the context to this part of the butt plug epic by being absolutely clear - having a butt plug shoved up your arse is NOT supposed to be just fun (even though a lot of us derive a huge amount of perverted pleasure from it).

In the BDSM context at least, when a Mistress rams a butt plug up your jacksy (and most are not particularly gentle) or tells you to do it to yourself the point of the exercise is that it is an invasion of your body.

While it is not rape by any means it is a sustained intrusion which your body will try to fight against.

And if it is not hurting then it is too small. i write this as the point of the butt plug currently inserted into me feels as though it is burrowing deeper into my body as it is forced further in through the weight of my body sat on a chair.

The Mistress i proudly serve, Scarlett Thorne, is very careful in terms of not causing any injury but will take you to your physical limit and extend it. But even though She is considerate by Domme standards there have been occasions when my clothes have been soaked in sweat and i have been left shaking because of the pain and effort required in having a butt plug inserted forcibly by Her. Having said that i quite liked being left in that state, but i get a kick from being abused.

So while i will dwell on the pleasures and benefits of using a butt plug in another part of the BP epic this piece is about the challenges of having an impliment stuck inside you potentially for hours and the difficulties you need to overcome.

i could write about the horrendous injuries which can be caused by misuse of these items and trying to go far to big or hard with them. i won't but will say if you want to avoid serious internal injuries or a ripped sphincter then be sensible about size and build up slowly.

Instead, i will concentrate on the minor challenges which actually can be fun in themselves but need to be dealt with if you are to take your butt plug training seriously.

1. Downfall - the butt plug falls out

i begin with a little story.

A close friend of mine, who can take pretty large butt plugs and strap-ons, had just had a new one inserted by Mistress Scarlett Thorne which appeared to have been lodged in quite tightly. But on his return to work as he was passing the security guard in the foyer he felt it slipping and before he could shout 'oops I need the toilet' the butt plug had come out and fallen right down his trouser leg and, much to his embarrassment, onto the floor in front of the highly amused security guard.

In these circumstances i recommend the 'I was doing it for a bet' line because there isn't much more you can say.

It has to be said that because i work in a particularly sensitive place where i could not get away with such a mishap this is one of my greatest fears. There have been many occasions my hand has clamped my backside or i've run into the toilet because i could feel slippage.

There are several reasons why it comes out. First, it may be too small and second you may have used far too much lube (my ususal problem). Third, though is that the body will defend itself even against your wishes. When i first used butt plugs in sessions they used to pop out quickly because my body was essentially rejecting them.

There are ways to deal with it though. Mistress Scarlett Thorne, when She sends me out with a butt plug in, will put first a G-string on me to hold it in and then larger panties to catch it, should a mishap happen.

Another way is to learn to clamp your muscles to hold it in. This comes witrh practice and you can also teach your body to suck it in too rather than push it out.

2. Walking

Related to the fallout issue, walking is a problem, particularly up stairs. Not only does it increase the risk of losing the butt plug in public, but actually having one lodged inside you generally makes walking a little more painful and definitely slows you down.

The one thing i would say is that it is great for deportment. You are far less likely to be hunched if you have a butt plug in you. It makes you straighten your back and walk with small steps in a careful unrushed manner. In other words it makes you walk in a far more ladylike manner which is one reason all trannies should practice walking with a butt plug rammed firmly up their arse.

3. Concentration

As i said i'm writing this blog with a butt plug inside me, partly to help live the expeierience while i'm doing it rather just remembering a feeling. However, there is a problem and that is that it is very hard to concentrate with something bordering between pleasure and pain moving around in you.

Normally you are not aware of how much you do move in your seat but you are with a butt plug and it means your focus inevitably goes to what is happing inside you both the discomfort and the pleasure.

Also the way sometimes (if it is large enough and pointing at the right spot) it makes you want to cum and if you are in chastity like me you are wrestling with yourself to stop that from happening.  Unfortunately 'sorry Mistress it was the buttt plug that did it' is not an excuse Dommes are willing to accept even if they know it might be true. i once seriously annoyed Scarlett Thorne when She f***ed me hard with a strap on and and it the spot leading to a lot of involuntary mess without Her permission.

Anyway imagine being screwed by somebody and trying to do something else at the same time. Not easy, but you have to learn to multi-task. This comes with practice, just about.

4. Out, out damn spot...

Stains do happen as a result of using a butt plug, especially if it is out of session and you're wearing normal clothes. Part of this is lube running out of your hole and then think where it's shoved up. i shall get on to this aspect shortly.

There is also the issue of minor abbrasions on your hole or from the skin inside you as a result of putting the butt plug in. If you see a little blood don't worry but do give yourself a break from using the butt plug for a day at least. If blood is pouring out get to a hospital asap!

5. Shit happens!

As i said just remember where the butt plug goes... what normally comes out of butts? OK it seems bloody obvious but actually you would be surprised how little people think about this problem before the thing is plunged into their darks depths.

For starters, one of the intended effects of the butt plug is after all to loosen up its user. This means that your muscles and cavity walls are not as tight as they were before it entered you. The result is that it actually harder to control when you shit. i have found that while i have a butt plug inside there have been times i have urgently need to run to the loo because it has evffectively opened the way for what was coming out more slowly before.

Another friend of mine told me he stopped for a while using butt plugs and strap-ons because he had got to such a large size he was finding it hard to control his shits. i have heard of people having to use nappies, not for kinky adult baby reasons but to stop them shitting themselves.

But well before that happens to the body one of the great discomforts of a butt plug is when two opposite and equal forces meet each other inside and you have a butt plug and shit pushing against one another. It is painful. When this happens you have to be careful when you remove the butt plug and clean it.

i should add that if you have a dodgy stomach, don't use a butt plug unless your Mistress is in a cruel mood and orders it. The butt plug will make the problem much worse by opening you up and you will be pulling it out, cleaning it, clearing yourself and then shoving it back in lots of times.

All this also means it is essential to cover your butt plug with at least one condom, probably two to keep it clean. This is important for your general health as well and you should nevertheless still clean the butt plug after use.

There are ways to avoid this. First, go to the loo beforehand and force yourself to shit. Alternatively you can take the butt plug out when you do need to shit and then put it back. This second way often happens to me and is a waste of good lube which isn't cheap.

However, the best thing to do is to have a full enema or douche before using the butt plug. This is virtually impossible to do at work and may be done at homwe if you live alone or with an understanding partner. But it does take time and really needs to be adminstered by somebody else. Mistress Scarlett Thorne does it to me before sessions, usually when i'm going to get whore training with a strap-on. Nobody wants to deal with a lot of shit when that's happening.


Hope you enjoyed this latest part of the Butt Plug Epic. There is more to come shortly probably on what you need to do to insert it yourself and then on how to enjoy it.

If you need any help and advice on being a tranny or a sub then contact me on trannyagony@live.co.uk or on Twitter through @DaniTallulah.

A survival guide for double lives (4) - buried tribute

Happy New Year sweeties! Sorry i haven't been tweeting much lately but it was a manic festive period between maiding for Mistress Scarlett Thorne and my vanilla life family and work duties.

Eventually i will get round to writing up the rest of the butt plug epic, although rather sadly i haven't had much butt plug action lately. But i have had a request to provide some advice on hiding the tribute payments to Mistresses for sessions etc.

As those of you who serve Superiors know, service tribute is not a small matter that can be easily accounted for, although the cost is perfectly reasonable for the chance to spend quality session time with a Domme. Typically the payment, which is made to support a Mistress's lifestyle and should never be mistaken for whoring, will be £200 for an hour.

So if you have a particularly nosy and naturally suspicious partner in your vanilla life who goes through your accounts hiding these payments, especially if they are regular, can be tricky.

In the post Christmas period when things are tight as most of us are feeling the pinch from the economic situation anyway this is perhaps the time to be most careful.

Here are some suggestions:

1. The secret credit card
i have mentioned this in an earlier blog. Barclaycard certainly do paperless accounts with online statements as do others. Take it out without telling your other half and draw money from it.
To stop an audit trail pay it off with cas at the bank and also make sure you keep up with payments because otherwise you'll get a warning letter sent to your home.

2. Cash back
This is a top idea from my good friend @PrincessTST. Basically every time you make a purchase at Tesco or another supermaret, or anywhere which offers cash back take an extra £20. This way the money just looks like part of the payment to the shop.
While a bit fiddly it is the most fool proof method of hiding your transactions. It can also be the means of getting the money to pay back your secret credit card debt.

3. Bank machines
Another way is to take out extra money to put aside over a spread of days before the session when you go to a bank machine. This is something i do quite regularly, you put the money aside and it doesn't look that suspicious.

4. Invent a regular payment
You can persuade your partner that something in your work life needs a regular cas payment which is why the money goes out. Personally i've used money for paymets on a property i rent out as an excuse and usually this sees off searching questions.

5. Make an alternative payment arrangement
You can offer to pay a Mistress's advertising, gym or other costs which come up as what looks like legitimate payments on credit/ debit cards. If you're really clever you might be able to claim the back on tax or expenses, something i've done in the past.

Of course, if you are the sort off well off person for whom taking out large wads of cash is perfectly normal then this advice is not much use, but for most of us keeping these costs hidden is essential to protecting your double life.

If you are a tranny or a sub in need of help or advice then either email me at trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah

Entering the Tranny Wardrobe of Doom - what to do with your gurly clothes

This post is dedicated to one of my Twitter gurlpals @Sissy_Rebecca who has her own excellent cockhunter blog but who was chatting with me this week about how she sadly can't dress up because she has nowhere to hide her tranny clothes.

There is little more heart breaking than hearing about  a tranny who can't tranny up.

Whether your thing is frills, latex, pvc, little cotton dresses, the smoothness of silk or the light tough of satins the greatest joy of being a tranny is the clothes we gurls buy and wear. Even the searching and buying is enormous fun. i often spend hours browsing through websites looking at dresses, panties, bras and more dresses looking for something i really want or like.

But for all this to happen every tranny needs a place where clothes can be sent when mail ordered and stored in secrecy.

Now if you are lucky enough to be a proper lifestyle tranny like my sweet friend @maid_felicity, who lives on her own, then there is no real problem. She has the most wonderful walk-in wardrobe room, which i am thoroughly jealous of. It has a lock for when her parents come to visit.

For many of us gurls though who lead double lives where wives, family and workmates don't know of our kinky other existance finding a safe haven for our tranny gear is absolutely essential.

Let's be clear i would not have been able to have even started without the patronage and support of Mistress Scarlett Thorne. Many of you will have followed my and others tweets on the near mythical but actually very real Tranny Wardrobe of Doom at Mistress' now famous Tranny Flat.

i can reveal that it is not really an entrance to Narnia, although trannies have been temporarily lost in action when set the task of sorting it out - me included. It is though in all its complexities a wondrous treasure trove of tranny clothes and shoes of all sorts of styles, fabrics and sizes.

The collection has been built up by donations from Mistress and various slaves, and to a large extent by the fact that She has very generously allowed us to use Her space as a place where we can send and hide our clothes as well as wear them.This is perhaps the greatest gift Mistress has afforded us and She is an extremely generous individual who has bestowed much on Her slaves, especially Her favoured ones.

In this sense i truly landed on my feet and never had a problem since Mistress started me properly on the road to becoming a gurl.

So my top recommendation to @Sissy_Rebecca and others is to find a Mistress who can and will offer this sort of help.

However, it has to be said many trannies are not into being subs and even if they are it is hard to find a Mistress as generous as Scarlett Thorne who actually has the premises to fit a lot of tranny clothes. Mistress Thorne does more than most specialise in trannies so She is more geared up to it, but it is also a potentially expensive option with some Dommes charging wardrobe rent.

i should say at this juncture that while the Tranny Wardrobe of Doom is heaving (as the Scots might put it), it is not closed for business for trannies who are lucky enough to come under the wonderful influence of Scarlett Thorne.
But there are plenty of alternatives though to finding a Mistress to look after Your clothes. It is possible if you meet like minded friends to store clothes at their places. In both these cases though (Mistress or friends) you need to be prepared to wash the clothes yourself and contribute to the housekeeping.

Alternatively i have had clothes sent to me at work and secreted them there over periods of time, although i always try to get them to the Tranny Flat asap. Friends of mine have kept their clothes in lockers at work, or drawers for weeks and months. If you can lock it up and guarantee nobody else will see this is a very good option.

The problem though with work is that options for cleaning clothes are limited, you end up using the local laundrette and there is an issue with things that need hand washing.

Meanwhile there are potential options at home. While you may not want clothes delivered home by post you may have places to hide them if your partner is unlikely to go there. i know of one tranny who has his own study with a lock and keeps her clothes hidden there. At times i have hidden things  - including once a large bag of BDSM and sex toys - in my garage. Some people can use the garden shed or attic.

The main warning is that these options can end up getting you caught because a partner may eventually go in for other reasons. So if you do hide things at home keep them in locked travel cases or boxes and don't leave the key lying around.

Again, there is an issue with washing your clothes, which i'm afraid does have to be done unless you want to be filthy in more ways than your perversions. Basically if you have your clothes stashed away at home you need to pick a quiet few hours to wash things ad it is wise in these circumstances to have items you can put through the dryer as well.

For those who enjoyed part one of the butt plug epic, part 2 will be published very soon.

If you need help and advice as a tranny or a sub you can contact me by e-mail at trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah.