Saturday, 31 August 2013

Diary of a sissy maid (2)

Here's the next instalment of my diary as Mistress Scarlett Thorne's sissy maid. i don't put everything in just moments or thoughts which strike me as important.

Monday 5 August 2013
Mistress Scarlett Thorne (MST) is away in Wales and not coming back til tomorrow. i am supposed to clean but get bogged down by vanilla life stuff. Often find if i don't start at the Tranny Flat in the morning it is hard to catch up. Is generally a very frustrating day. Even a client who wanted to try out my various holes and me to try his cancels.
Eventually arrive at 7.30pm and run into Princess. Somehow it seems a good idea to go to a local cocktail restaurant and have an evening out...the cleaning can wait.
Go home tipsy and feeling very worried what happens if MST returns and finds TF not properly cleaned.

Tuesday 6 August 2013
Arrive at midday in TF far later than planned. Decide that lunch is for people with too much time. Often don't eat when i a maiding especially if MST is away. MST usually forces me to have something on the basis that if i pass out i am no good to Her.
Blitz the flat. Hoover, dust, mop, wipe clean things i have not cleaned before. Polish mirrors. Do all the washing and washing up. Reorganise Her wardrobe and clothes drawer. File the receipts into the correct envelopes. Don't stop til 8pm absolutely knackered.
MST texts to say She won't arrive til very late and i leave praying inwardly that She is happy with my work.
People imagine serving a Mistress that She is always there and You are just running around at Her beck and call but the truth is very different. i am often in the TF alone getting on with chores. i spend many hours alone with just my mop and cleaning materials for company and Classic FM playing in the background (MST insists its stays on).
There is no "play" as some might put it just work and the hope that MST will be at least semi-pleased. Even a brief word of praise fills me with joy.
i am not bored. i love doing the chores because i feel i am making a small contribution to Mistress' life and if i have downtime there is always work on my nails, shaving or doing online things.
People may look down on menial tasks but i wish i could do them all the time. It is a matter of working for the right person and i do.

Wednesday 7 August 2013
Very happy MST is back. Get to TF as quickly as possible to hear Her verdict on my cleaning.
"Not bad."
For somebody with MST's high standards that's quite high praise although She thinks i should have polished the mirrors better.
But there is good and bad news at the end of the day. MST is pleased enough to give me my two butterfly stickers back BUT if i "f*** up again" i start losing stickers i had previously won. i have 24 hours to see if i am two up or more down.
MST does these things to exert Her control over me. She knows that it will make me panic and worry and i think think She derives a lot of pleasure from stirring up my fear and uncertainty. But i guess She is a sadist, She doesn't play at being one!
Highlight of the day was spending an hour on my knees massaging MST's sore feet while She made telephone calls and watched TV. They were a lot less sore after i finished but my hands and knees ached incredibly.
It really is my favourite task. There's a huge level of trust given to a slave when she or he is allowed to massage a Domme and more than that there is a symbiotic relationship that develops. As i massage i sort of soak up Mistress' pain into my hands and take it on for Her. It is very intimate but it can also be very dehumanising because as the sub gets on with it the Mistress largely ignores her or him except to give the odd verbal instruction on changing the emphasis of he massage. i remember i once massaged MST's feet for two hours while She watched a film about somebody being buried alive. She ignored me throuhout, i felt like a utility, but i also felt very happy.
It is not always true though. Sometimes the massage is the time when Mistress discusses Her personal things with the sub and gossips. So it can also be very personal and friendly time.
Today was a mixture of both.But whichever it is there is nothing to beat being at your Mistress' feet on your knees serving Her.

Thursday 8 August 2013
So what do you do as a slave when the Mistress you serve gives one order then one of Her best friends another Domme arrives and gives contradictory orders?
i tend to go with the Domme in front of me on the basis that whichever way i go punishment is inevitable and the nearest Domme is the one in the best position to hit you.
Any today MST was away on vanilla life business and Her great friend Mistress Luna arrived with new equipment for Her to borrow. MST had said to wait before taking things up to the flat, ML had other ideas. So boyed up i assisted ML.
MST arrived, told me off, beat me hard, shouted a bit and then W/we all got on with another TF reorganisation.
This represented survival for a sub. Although i almost got myself in terible trouble for forgetting toput ice in ML's drink.
At the end of the day MST made me kneel and gave me two good gurl butterflies on my bucket but also three bad gurl feet. That's 13 strikes of a cane to my feet for every misdemeanor but 13 per cent of the way to a shopping trip with the butterflies.

Friday 9 August 2013
Sad day because i am going away on holiday for two weeks. MST beats me hard for having the cheek for going away, although i did ask permission.
Most people feel happy about going on holiday but my idea of a holiday would be to just serve MST without worrying about my other life.
Work really hard, almost get the sack twice and somehow survive.
Before i go MST gets me to kneel again with the bucket. This time there is a new poo sticker for shame but two more butterfly stickers for working so hard.
Also Mistress puts "My best gurl" on the bucket. Feel incredibly happy. Going to miss Her so much and the TrannyFlat.

Thursday, 8 August 2013

From slouch to slut - how serving Scarlett Thorne has physically changed me

i am what is described as a "pre-op tranny". To put it crudely i haven't had a boob job, been pumped with hormones or had anything chopped off and replaced with an extra hole. However, just because i have not gone under the surgeon's knife does not mean i have not undergone so major physical changes as i have been systematically feminised.

This blog is meant as a double celebration. It is partly to mark the third anniversary of when my servitude to Mistress Scarlett Thorne began, the cause of the changes i am about to describe. But it is also one of my gifts to Mistress on Her birthday which happily occurs within a few days of my anniversary of entering Her service.

It is fair to say that everything i am about to describe was either inspired, instructed, taught, forced or inflicted by Scarlett Thorne as She has relentlessly reshaped me and transformed me into my true self and a better feminine person. i have been very fortunate to have come under the influence of such a talented Mistress who has been willing to spend so much time on me. Every aspect of my physical feminisation has been an improvement.

In the last three years i have transformed beyond recognition. Somebody close to me in my vanilla life commented that i am a totally changed person physically as well as mentally, although they did not know the reason.

Weight Loss

The first change and one that has continued is the huge amount of weight i lost. When i first shambled through the dungeon door and me Mistress Scarlett Thorne i was not obese but was certainly fat. In that typical male fashion i did not recognise or care about it. Diets were for women!

But the weight loss at first came as part of a change in my subconscious. i suddenly became aware that i was losing weight rapidly and doing thing like dieting and exercise without thinking about it. The cause was my first shopping trip with Scarlett Thorne when She allowed me to join Her entourage at Erotica in London. That day i splashed out on an amazing zebra print coat, a size 18, which was pretty large. Somehow i think that planted the seed in my mind that i wanted to be smaller, thinner and more attractive.

i still remember the joy i felt when i could fit into a size 16 pvc dress as the first sign that the weight was coming off. In three years i am now three stone less than i was that day i first met Mistress and can even fit into a size 10 on occasions and Mistress even thinks i could squeeze into size 8 hotpants!

But of course another reason for losing the pounds is being taken on as Scarlett Thorne's full time maid. She stops me from starving to death by forcing me to eat biscuits and scraps from Her kitchen (usually left over beans and mouldy toast) but She works me like a bitch, none stop. my daily mantra is that i "must work harder" and She makes it clear that each new day involves a new level of intensity of work for Her, which is only fair for a Mistress to expect from a slave. So all the desperate running around to keep up with Her demands and all the chores have certainly helped me shed the pounds.

i am not sure if cum s fattening and do get to eat a lot of it as part of my whoring job. However, when i am whoring cum is usually the only thing Mistress allows me to swallow, probably so i am hungry for more.

Hair loss

It is funny to think that three years ago i had a beard and even after i started being a tranny i kept it for a few months. Hair loss has been a big problem mainly because of prejudices at home, but over time i have waxed, shaved and lasered it all off.

i love having bare legs now and i feel so much sexier for it. And not having hair around my arsecrack is much nicer for clients when they want to use me for their pleasure.

i even have a special laser device to stop regrowth. Now i have got rid of almost all my body hair i can't imagine wanting it back again. It makes putting sun tan lotion or moisteriser on so much easier and frankly is so much more attractive. i am not going to apologise fr being a shameless slut. When i go out i want men to touch me up and want to f*** me. A nice smooth gurl is far more likely to be a nice honeytrap.

For those though who struggle because of their vanilla lives with getting rid of hair, and i know the problem, then i have written a blog post on tactical things you can do by clicking here.

The benefits of torture

As those of you who know the methods of Scarlett Thorne will be aware, butt plugs and nipple clamps are regular methods of basic punishment. She often makes me wear them when i do my chores to motivate me.

The great advantage of butt plugs and other things Mistress forces me to take up my arse is that they strtch my hole. This means i can take larger things and this in turn is good for business because my tranny pussy is ready for cocks of all sizes. This in turn means i can earn more money for Mistress.

Mistress also stuck things down the little hole on what is now my clitoris but used to be my penis. She has said She intends to do more work on it and eventually turn that hole into a pussy. While nowhere near that yet the hole is much larger than before.

Nipple clamps of varying hardness and pain thresholds teach you to take pain and suffer more (another part of my daily mantra). A good slave needs to be able to take a lot of pain to work more efficiently and cope with the regular blows and beatings from Mistress.

The clamps have also enormously increased the size of my nipples which used to be very small. When i do do have breast implants it means my nipples will be nice and big and ready for me to look properly sexy.

Nails, teeth and skin

One of the things that Mistress forced me to do was to have a pedicure. i used to have horrid toe nails and that was put right with a really good pedicure. It also softened the skin on my feet and took the old hard dead skin away.

This has had several advantages. First, again it is good for business, i can now offer services to foot fetishists and not feel embarrassed.

Also it means that Mistress' preferred punishment (caning my foot soles) is even more painful and terrifying than it was before.

The improvement on my toe nails means that it is also much easier to use nice nail polish and then get it off when i return to the vanilla world. This is also true of my hands where Mistress has taught me to look after my nails with special files and ordered me to do it regularly. my hands look amazingly better for it and my nails are much stronger.

Also on my hands Mistress has made me grow my nails longer which makes them look far more attractive when properly painted.

One thing that Scarlett Thorne is also keen on is that i guard against the signs of ageing especially on my hands. One of my favourites tasks for Her has helped in this respect, giving Mistress a foot massage. When i do this i use Cocoa Butter moisteriser so my hands get moisterised too in the process. i also use moisteriser independently now to make my skin softer and look younger.

An added bonus is that i have discovered longer nails work better with typing.

Mistress is also very particular about teeth. When i was younger i was lucky because my parents forced me to wear braces. i didn't feel lucky at the time mind you! But thanks to the braces my teeth are in good shape in my mouth.

But one of my few initiatives since becoming a gurl was to buy toothpaste for whitening. It has been amazing! Within a few months i have lost the yellowy smile and now have something more akin to a film star. i can tell you that men are much happier to stick their cocks into the mouth of a girl with clean white teeth to somebody who looks like their dentures have been transplanted from a zombie movie.

Mistress also persuaded me to regularly chew minty gum which means i always have fresh breath. i think we all know that nice smelling breath makes a much better impression on people!


There are so many things that Mistress Scarlett Thorne has taught me and forced me to do to become more feminine in the way i conduct myself. She spent many hours teaching me various ways of walking like a girl. She put an end to the slouching, shuffling man She first met.

i now sit like a girl. i keep my knees together or legs crossed. When you have a dress it focusses the mind on not sitting with your legs apart, nasty male habit.

Mistress has also forced me to hold y shoulders back, stick my boobs out, hold my stomach in and stick my bum out. i need to look good and sexy to attract men. Actually when i had a photoshoot recently, Mistress literally manhandled, manipulated and punched me to get the right posture. It was very uncomfortable and painful but totally worth it!

These are just some of the ways i have physically changed. i could mention the voice as well, which i have consciously had it make higher and more feminine. This is quite a tough physical exercise and involves singing lots of scales.

The great thing though is that while Mistress Scarlett Thorne has taken me a long way there is always more to do and more improvements to be done. i am very luck that She never seems to tire of forcing me to become feminine in another way.

i know i am on a journey to become a proper girl who knows it may, actually hopefully, will end in surgery, but i hope from reading this blog you have realised there is so much that can be done without making an appointment with the doctor.

If you want any help or advice with your tranny or sub life e-mail me on or tweet me on @DaniTallulah

Wednesday, 7 August 2013

The diary of a sissy maid (1)

Mistress Scarlett Thorne has ordered me to keep a regular diary of my experiences serving Her and working in the Tranny Flat. Some of it is meant for publication to give people a flavour of what it really is like to work as a maid and a whore and be completely subject to the whims of a Superior like Mistress Scarlett Thorne.

i started the diary last week and actually it was full of drama and quite illustrative of the ups and downs of servitude.

Monday 29 July 2013
The week starts with my usual early morning arrival to get the Tranny Flat ready after the weekend. Unusually Mistress Scarlett Thorne (MST) is there and not coming back from Wales.
MST is very happy with me because of the blog i wrote for Her website over the weekend about whinging slaves. So week starts well.
She tells me to not look at Her which is normal in the morning before She puts Her make up on. When i do look at Her She lays into me with her hand to make sure i don't make the same mistake again. Have to wear my bucket on my head so i don't look while She is speaking to me.
This little ritual is all part of reinforcing the social order in the Tranny Flat ie MST at the top and me at the bottom.
Turns out to be a normal day. i clean dungeon, bathroom, kitchen and suspension room, put on the washing, do a pile of washing up and hoover.
i then pop to my "silly part time job" which pays the wages and come back again to clean up after Mistress' sessions. Ms Laura Lashes has been helping Her. Absolutely love Her long leopard print summer dress, really want to get one.
Day ends with vodka and lemonade. 

Tuesday 30 July 2013
Serving one Mistress is tough and generally terrifying a lot of the time but two is mind blowingly scary.

MST's  friend Mistress Luna comes round to help in a session. The two always try to outdo one another in cleanliness and strictness. MST hits me a few times and shouts at me that i'm not working hard enough.
i think Luna has told MST that She is too soft on me. The bruises on me would disagree but i am not one to judge.
Luna tells me off because my hair is a mess, which earns me another beating from MST. i am told to hide myself from the slave coming in because i am "in shame."
Later on i get a call from a nice Australian who wants a quick blow job, which is nice and makes me happy and another one who books for the day after.

The day is ended cleaning up the dungeon and going for a drink with Luna, MST and my best tranny pal Princess. Luna is hard but is actually be very nice and generous and insists on buying the first round. It just goes to show that Mistresses have high standards but are also very kind to those below them.

Wednesday 31 July 2013
Arrived at Tranny Flat late.  Mistress Scarlett Thorne (MST) was furious. Totally furious. She had given me permission to be a little later but was an hour after She had allowed. Some people may see these things as "play" but when MST is cross i actually get quite frightened.

MST hit me a lot shouting at me and wanting to know why things were not done. Had 15 minutes to get dungeon and suspension rooms ready. MST threatens to sack me which makes me worried. Feel a bit sad and sore from the blows.
Two hours of peace while MST abused a slave. Brushed my hair and tried to work on my website. Can't decide how to theme my website. Want to abuse slaves like MST abuses me but wonder if i am too submissive to pull it off.
Am cross with a client who had booked a 2pm session with me and not confirmed. Damn timewasters. Hate them!
MST comes out of session and is still angry this time because the washing up is not done and Mistress Luna is on Her way for another session. Mistress Luna likes things even cleaner than MST which is saying a hell of a lot. Wonder what it would be like to work for both and thought makes me nervous. 
Waiting while MST does sessions can be really boring, people don't think about that side of a dungeon and serving a Mistress but there is a lot of waiting.i keep myself busy doing chores, my nails and trying to improve my website but failing. Decide i don't like the pictures i have chosen for the site.
MST comes out of second session. Unhappy that washing is too wet and making puddles on the floor. She drags me to bath and pisses on me to show me the difference between wet and dry. The wet feels very warm on my back and MST laughs a lot. Then tells me to put on nipple clamps and put a butt plug inside as punishment. Tells me i have to work up to a very large butt plug.
i am made to wear piss soaked hair and embarrassing frilly dress which certainly makes MST very cheerful. She later allows me to change into my sexy pink lace dress. She says it is one of Her favourite dresses of mine. i like it too because it attracts men and club doorways. 
Day finishes with a big reorganisation of two work rooms, moving double beds. MST does the manly DIY stuff. i sort of flap around. MST wears goggles to protect Her eyes. She gets bvery frustrated and beats me up again to feel better. Really hurts, get a couple of bruises, but MST seems happier.
Leave 8.30pm. MST says i have been a "good gurl" and will get a butterfly sticker for my maid bucket as reward and a chastity release. Leave feeling really happy and uplifted even though it was a tough day.
i enjoy getting punished it helps me improve even though it hurts and can be frightening. But most of all i feel happy that Mistress is pleased. It means i survive another day as Her maid.

Thursday 1 August 2013
It was a day that reminded me of how fragile this existence is and one that made me very worried.
Arrived at Tranny Flat not sure if i would be allowed to serve. Mistress had been very enigmatic about it the night before. Was about to leave down hearted after She failed to answer when She texted me to tell me to hurry up.
Seems that Mistress Scarlett Thorne had been up late having some rather debauched fun and might have been suffering from a nasty hangover.
Got on with cleaning while MST went back to bed.
Was ordered to give MST a foot massage (which is my favourite task). Don't have a foot fetish but could spend and have spent hours massaging MST's feet taking Her pain into my hands. Was also told to give Her a head massage, which i got right after a while, thought MST was going to hit me at one point, but She was too hungover.
MST becomes really quite ill. It reminds me of when She has allergy problems although i think it is different.
MST is so much physically and mentally stronger than me it is always a shock to be reminded how fragile She can be. my pathetic little life is dedicated to Her now and i am really not sure what i would do if something happened to MST.
Fortunately, She recovered by the evening but was ordered to hide the Tranny Flat supply of alcohol because of Her earlier hangover.
MST bought me some beautiful nail polish for my help and awarded me another good gurl butterfly for the bucket. Really happy, but mainly because MST is well again.

Friday 2 August 2013
Week ends in total disaster. Feel utterly miserable.
Ordered to hoover suspension room and discover that the hoover is broken. It's only six months old! MST blames me because She saw me being less than careful winding cable up earlier in the week. It's the cable that's jammed.
MST is totally furious.
There is a difference between Her warm, session style anger and the the cold hard fury of when She is in a bad mood. Today is the latter and it makes me very afraid.
Fortunately find receipt go to Argos but cannot get a like for like replacement. Have to pay a little more for a new one but get them to give me a £5 voucher as an apology.
Go back to TF expecting to be sacked or at least suspended for a while. MST shouts at me when i get in and threatens me with the sack immediately if i don't get on with maiding.
Make myself busy. Wanted to cry.
Luckily, a slave comes in for session and MST works out some of Her anger on him.
Afterwards, She says i am not sacked. Huge relief!
But She cancels the two butterflies i had earned during the week and a present She has promised me for weeks and weeks. Feel crushed. my immediate reaction is that it is unfair rewards are so hard to come by from Mistress that each one is treasured. But then i think about it and i take a couple of deep breaths.
Then i feel happy again. i would do what i do for n o reward because serving MST is the greatest reward and joy i can have in my life. Anything else is a bonus. And at least i go ho,e not sacked.