Friday, 8 June 2012

How to get to live with a Dominatrix (for a few days anyway)

It is the ultimate fantasy. From the wake up call of a sharp kick in the ribs and the shout "make me coffee slave!", through the joy of every cherished moment of serving Mistress, the hours of kink, chores, more kink and, of course, punishment, to the moment you pass out from exhaustion in the early hours of the morning, the prospect of being able to live even briefly the life of a 24/7 slave is the dream of all those who have ever wanted to belong to a Domme.

For a day or few days even the stresses and strains of your vanilla life are forgotten and all you need to worry about are the needs and whims of Mistress and what She might do to you or demand of you next. Not just the ultimate fantasy but complete escapism.

It's certainly something i dreamed and fantasised of pretty much from the age of 11 and never thought would happen and then suddenly through the grace of the Goddess, or rather Scarlett Thorne, it actually did.

But what we are talking about here is one of the greatest privileges any slave - tranny or otherwise - can experience in being allowed to stay overnight or for several days with the Mistress they serve. When a Domme allows a sub to do this She is allowing them into a bit of Her private world and putting the slave's service to Her on a new level altogether.

But the chances of it happening seem so distant for many it is something i have been asked by quite a few people how it is possible to achieve.

There are two paths to being allowed to stay with a Mistress - the easiest way with a pro-Domme is through hard cash or very special gifts (see section 2) and the hardest by far is through servitude and total devotion, which worked for me.

There is the third route of an actual romantic relationship but that is the subject of another blog post.

Instead i will first outline the way i ended up being a regular overnight guest of Mistress Scarlett Thorne at the Tranny Flat.

Route 1: Servitude and devotion
This section is the lifestyle slave route to staying with a Domme. For those who want to find out how to get a lifestyle arrangement click here but also read on.

First, it should be noted that to be allowed to live with the Mistress for a few days or more or even a night She needs to know you very well and feel comfortable and safe with you as well as actually enjoy your company. In other words this is not just about sessions as i will touch on in a later point. It also means you have had to have built up a relationship with Her over a very long period of time.

i know most Mistresses won't even consider an overnight session for someone until they have served Her in ordinary sessions several times. To be allowed to stay longer requires a relationship of a few years. In my case that was much less BUT i spend most working days maiding or serving for Scarlett Thorne on average more than five hours a day in some way or other, so we have built up O/our relationship faster than if i was only sessioning or serving a few hours a week. i have in effect had the equivalent of maybe 20 years worth of many slaves' contact with their Mistress.

At this point i should emphasize that i have also become best friends with Scarlett Thorne, although it is a strange sort of unequal friendship between a Mistress and slave but still a very good and meaningful one. O/our personalities are also well matched - She is very good at giving orders and i love trying to follow them, but W/we also have similar interests beyond just bdsm.

i remember the first time She allowed me to stay overnight was partly because She said She quite liked my company which is why i got it at a discounted price. But it is important too for Her that She knows She can trust me implicitly, that i won't invade Her private life and will not take advantage of Her generosity. That first stay was very much a test of that.

It also helps a lot that for Mistress (and me) i am a girl not a man. As such W/we have the friendship of two females - not a lesbian one i hasten to add - but my transformation has made it much easier for me to enjoy this sort of privilege. It is far harder for a male slave to have the same honour.

As i said She also knows that i will work as Her maid or whatever She requires from before She gets up to after She has gone to bed. There was one time i stayed with Her that i forgot to eat for two days because i was working so hard on tasks for Her. Slightly worryingly Mistress did't notice either but W/we were having the most fabulous time. A maid cannot live by by vodka and coffee alone but she can live by the words of Her Mistress.

The word "slaving" does not get anywhere near the level of work Scarlett Thorne expects of me but hard work - and it is the almost daily hard work - in addition to working a normal full time job (my silly part time job as Mistress puts it) which as i have mentioned in previous blogs allows me these opportunities. As i've said before i have a key to the Tranny Flat not so i can go and enjoy myself but because i am expected to undertake the same level of hard work whether Mistress is staying at the Tranny Flat or is away. Woe betide me if She comes back to an even slightly dirty or messy dungeon and flat.

So to get to a point where i am a welcome guest i have had to completely devote myself to serving Scarlett Thorne, something i happen to love doing and be proud of but not an easy thing to do especially when you have a full other life. But generally this is typical of slave relationships with serious Dommes, although most of them do not have complicated other vanilla lives.

These days as well i also pay rent towards the TrannyFlat through my whoring, which is another reason for me to be allowed to stay and see clients, but that is a pretty unusual situation and one i would not necessarily recommend to others unless you really want to do it, even though i adore my escort work. But this does bring us on neatly to the next and most common way of getting to stay with Mistress.

Route 2: Cash and gifts
As i have said in other blogs, but it bears repeating, Mistresses do not do what they do for charitable reasons. It is how they make their living and pay for their lifestyle. They may enjoy it but it has to pay so you have to pay. And this sort of privilege will cost you one way or another.

Just to put this in context, an overnight stay with me as a whore will cost at least £800 but probably nearer £1,200 if it is at the TrannyFlat. For a skilled Dominatrix, unless She is being very generous and likes you a lot, an overnight stay will be anything between £1,000 and £2,000. So if you are planning on staying a few days you will need to expect to dig deep into your wallet.

OK admittedly i was lucky enough to not have to pay much to stay with Scarlett Thorne but it still costs. In the early days i used to offer to pay for hotels if W/we went away and i still buy expensive drinks and meals and take Her to expensive clubs. i also buy in most of the TrannyFlat supplies when i am working there and i try to regularly bring Her a gift of perfume or something special.

i know one slave was allowed to stay three days after he bought Her a car. At least one other brought Her jewellery worth around £2,000. Other slaves have simply paid for expensive holidays at top resorts and hotels and then allowed Her to have and buy what She wanted.

But it does not stop there. i know of a slave who was sent out shoe shopping with one of Mistress's gurls. Others have been luckier and gone shopping with Mistress. If this happens expect Her to "rape your wallet" and you to have the privilege of carrying the bags. i know Scarlett Thorne loves slaves to take Her to the theatre too.

Now of course Mistresses - Scarlett Thorne in particular - are not mercenary and are aware of slaves financial constraints, so if you don't have the money They may accept other means of payment but only if the Domme really likes you and is feeling generous. A website redesign, plumbing, major building works or another specialised gift may do the trick. Otherwise the option for those who are not well off enough is to hope for a lifestyle arrangement.

Whichever way it happens though there are still other issues then to be dealt with to make sure your stay does not end in disaster.

Warning 1: Do not expect it to be just about sessions
Even when you pay you are paying for the privilege of being allowed to stay with Mistress. If you have paid this will include a session or sessions but it is very unlikely it will be one long session. If you have paid for your overnight or days then you should expect your Mistress' undivided attention but She will still need to sleep, eat and take breaks.

It is best to remember that if you are allowed to stay it is your chance to live as a lifestyle slave which means you have to serve Her. This means working hard. This means lots of cleaning, washing up, maybe ironing, tidying, maybe secretarial work, essentially the tedious and laborious jobs Mistress should not have to bother with Herself.

As Scarlett Thorne often says to me when i'm just maiding not even staying overnight: "Work harder you little bitch or get out!"

Even so, it will still be a great time and, from my experience, it will involve regular beatings, butt plugs, electrics and all sorts as Mistress motivates you to be a better slave for Her. If you are sessioning you may also get to be Her toilet for the time there and will certainly experience things and get a taste of a life that you only ever dreamed of.

In truth while i loved sessioning with Scarlett Thorne, nothing at all matches the thrill of being a lifestyle slave and completely at Her mercy and disposal simply serving Her.

i think one of my happiest couple of hours i spent as a slave was massaging Scarlett Thorne's feet while She watched a movie (about burying somebody alive...). All i was allowed to look at was the feet and concentrate on serving Her and making Her happy. It was bliss.

There are though definite distinctions between the paid and unpaid stays in terms of the kinky side of what Mistress will do to you and intensity. Unpaid is far more labour intensive on the part of the slave whereas paid is generally harder work for Mistress and more session orientated.

i should say my lifestyle arrangement grew from sessioning with Mistress so usually the one does not come without the other.

Warning 2: Behave well
Remember it is a privilege to be there and if you want another chance you need to be constantly respectful, not at all stroppy ever for any reason, totally grateful and, most of all, do what you are told to do without question (so long as it does not exceed your session hard limits).

i know of one slave who regularly paid a different Mistress' mortgage and thought he "owned" Her as a result. That idiot got booted out but still had to pay the mortgage (plus some).

One of the times i got into most trouble with Scarlett Thorne was having a strop about a session or rather not having a session while i was staying with Her. It almost got me the sack and was a terrible mistake. So my advice is remember the big picture, enjoy what you are experiencing and don't worry about the small things even sessions.

Warning 3: Think of a damn good excuse
If like me you are leading a double life you need to explain why you are away for a few days or a week or whatever. For me i wait for my family to go on holiday and pretend i am very busy at vanilla work, even though i am taking a break from it to serve Mistress.

But one suggestion might be a business trip, which i can tell you works but not for more than a couple of days.

The other one is to say you are going on holiday with friends. For this obviously they need to be friends your partner does not know but something he or she would not be surprised about you doing. This way you could actually pay for the holiday but give the money to Mistress instead which will please Her and guarantee you a fabulous stay as Her slave.

The most important thing is if you have the chance to stay with Mistress then enjoy and make the most of it, unless you are rich or lucky it may never happen again.

If you want advice on a tranny or sub life then e-mail me at or contact me on Twitter on @DaniTallulah.