Friday, 24 February 2012

How to get a lifestyle slave/ maid arrangement with a Mistress

Picture the following scenario:

Phone rings, it is a Would-be slave calling a Mistress he would like to serve (we'll skip the introductory remarks).
Mistress: "What are your interests?"
Would-be slave (usually nervously): "i'd like to be a sissy maid, get dressed up by You and do chores."
Mistress: "Oh yes, I like to do that sort of thing, when can you come?"
Would-be slave (breaths sigh of relief): " Thursday at OK, Mistress?"
Mistress (pauses, looks in diary): "I can do that time. Now My tribute is £200 an hour."
Would-be slave (gulps) : "Er...well i don't actually have any, i...i... was wondering if could just s...s...serve You."
The Mistress' response to this ranges from hanging up to a polite "sorry I always demand tribute" to something a good deal less polite. The result is the same the would-be slave remains would-be.

The moral of this tale, which happens quite a lot, is that Dommes are not charities who provide free services to desperate would-be slaves. Domme-ing itself is an expensive activity for a Mistress in terms of buying dungeon equipment and other materials like clothes, make-up, condoms and poppers etc as well as paying the rents on places for dungeons. That is before a Mistress then factors in Her own living costs.

All but a tiny minority of Mistresses do it for a living even if it is their lifestyle choice as well and there are many, many of would-be slaves out there willing to pay good cash to do the most menial tasks for them. Putting it in house-buying language it is a seller's market not a buyers one - the sellers being the Dommes and the buyers being the slaves.

So perhaps not surprisingly, given that it is not easy, i have been asked many times how it is possible to end up in a lifestyle arrangement partly because i am extremely lucky to have one with the fabulous Mistress Scarlett Thorne, where i serve Her almost daily mainly has Her maid, sometimes Her confidente and on occasions helping Her in sessions.

The answer is that in reality it is much, much harder to end up in a lifestyle arrangement than it is to be thrown out of one as a slave.

i know of at least two Mistresses who in the last 12 months have sacked Their lifestyle slaves because They were unhappy about some aspect of the slaves' lives outside service or commitment to Them. In that sense i am also lucky that i serve a Mistress who is very accommodating of my other life and shows a great deal of patience, but the nature of lifestyle arrangements will be the subject of another post.

As i see it there are several routes to becoming a lifestyle slave.

Every so often, but this is extremely rare, a Mistress will advertise for one to do the domestic duties and menial tasks for Her so she can concentrate on important things. i have heard of interviews taking place, but this is more for slaves with a lot of time on their hands and few other personal commitments or specific skills or tasks like gardeners or drivers.

There is also love through the fetish scene. i know of cases of Dommes and subs getting together properly and even marrying, although i also know that some of these relationships that have broken down horribly. There was one case i know of where the police were even called in.

Then there are the odd cases of subs who are virtually part of the BDSM scene full time and are well known enough for Mistresses to ask them to come and serve. This includes my dear friend @maid_felicity, who is extremely popular among Mistresses across the UK but is still waiting to get collared - the term used to confirm a lifestyle relationship which is often accompanied by a collar being put on a slave by a Mistress.

Generally a Mistress is more likely to go for a slave She knows and trusts. One Mistress i know of actually keeps a chart of time served which allows them greater access as long as they have shown they deserve Her trust. She won't go away with slaves or let them too close unless they have served requisite numbers of weeks, months and years. But even this will not lead to a lifestyle type arrangement.

The main route - particularly for those of us who live double lives - involves a great deal of luck and hard work, my story is typical of that.

Basically, you meet a Mistress by seeing Her for paid sessions and then almost by chance, or by Her whim certainly not yours, She decides to let You a bit more into Her life. Over time you earn Her trust more by being willing to do jobs for Her and eventually after months maybe years you end up serving Her more and more in your daily life.

In some ways i got there quite quickly but even in the year and a bit since i first sessioned with Scarlett Thorne i didn't realise that i had effectively moved into a lifestyle arrangement until She pointed it out because the changes happened in small steps and gradually. So i actually feel like i got to the point by accident, although i am delighted i have.

In that sense it is not dissimilar to a friendship - except it is a Mistress/ slave relationship (although it can be a form of friendship too as it is with Scarlett Thorne and me) - in that it grows naturally over time and has results of bringing the two of Y/you closer together through mutual trust.

i was actually very fortunate that i got baptised in Her piss quite early in my service to Scarlett Thorne because She liked me for some reason i haven't fatrhomed and i was given a collar on my first anniversary as Her tranny sub to cement that relationship.

But there is an important ingredient to it that is essential and that is you need to prove to the Mistress that you are willing to work really hard and accept that the reward is the service itself and the chance to be in Her presence a lot. For the slave it is primarily a lifestyle focussed on devotion not pleasure or even fantasy.

In my case i am actually allowed keys to @TrannyFlat, but this is only so i can let myself in to clean the place up when Mistress is away. When i am there Scarlett Thorne always gives me a long list of tasks such as making the bed, doing the washing up, dusting, cleaning the bathroom, hoovering, scrubbing the floors, polishing the mirrors, washing the clothes, hanging washing up or puitting it away, sorting out boxes, making endless cups of coffee, serving drinks...well you get the drift.

i spend a lot of time on my knees not for any 'play' reasons but to get the chores done properly. i also have secretarial duties and act as an alarm clock many mornings for Mistress.

Damn! She works me hard. i'm sometimes literally running around the apartment trying to keep up with Her demands and i've got a long list of things which still need to be done.

Apart from the fact i can dress as a girl (and sometimes give people a blowjob), it is not exactly glamorous. i'm not complaining because i love serving Scarlett Thorne and it means i get to spend hours with Her. i actually even like the chores.

But to underline the message Mistress Thorne on occasions will say: "Work hard or go!"

There are of course rewards. At the moment it means i get far more time with Mistress than most or perhaps all of Her other slaves, even though there are others She has in Her inner circle. She sometimes gives me things like a dress to say 'thank you'.

Then there is always the odd bit of what some might call 'play' but is more of a serious motivational part of the lifestyle when Mistress uses things like a butt plug or electrics on me or just gives me a good beating. i gather the next 'motivational method' will be nipple clamps.

But the hard work sums up the whole point of a lifestyle arrangement. It is not for fun it is to allow Mistress to have time to get on with Her more important tasks or just relax while the menial time consuming tasks are done by a slave.

i will soon post a blog on what is meant by a lifestyle arrangement because i think there are some misconceptions about this and of course it means different things to different Mistresses.

If you are a tranny or a sub seeking advice on any issues that concern you then contact me on or tweet me on @DaniTallulah.

Friday, 10 February 2012

A survival guide for double lives (5) - How to lie and avoid being caught out by your body language

One of my closest tranny friends @PrincessTST suggested this post a while back so i have been doing a little bit of research into it. @PrincessTST, like me, knows only too well that to survive over a sustained period leading a double life you need to be convincing and most of all you need to be able to lie very well eve when put under interigatio by a suspicious partner, which i often am.

In previous posts i have dealt with possible cover stories and how well you need to be prepare them and the sort of detail you need to go to make sure you are safe. But you also need to be ready for surprise challenges, essentially always on your guard.

For example the other day i came in home late after work (yes, genuinely work ot serving Mistress), which happens a lot n my line of business and also provides good cover. But as i was taking off my coat my partner asked: "So who is your Mistress?"

To say my blood froze would be an understatement for the Siberian sensation that gripped my heart for a moment and fortunately my back was turned. She then said: "I keep thinking you are having an affair."

At that point i relaxed. As i am not having a affair i could go into lausible deniability mode and just talk about work, which bores her anyway. The reference to Mistress though, even with its double meaning, had slightly unnerved me because obviously i may not be having an affair but i am having an equally intense but different experience in service to Scarlett Thorne.

That little episode got me thinking again about how to lie in not letting yourself getting caught out and i think the crucial thing here is body language.

So i did some research of various signs that interigators in the police and security organisations look for and found out classic things people do when they lie, which means any of us having a secret other life should avoid doing them like the plague.

1. Don't hesitate emotionally
Delayed emotions are a classic sign somebody is lying apparently. So if you are accused it is best to either laugh straight away, because that's an easy one, or look offended. It will give you a moment to think your next move too.

2. Don't overdo or underdo your emotions
A short reaction is all that is required. Hamming your emotions or going on too long is another give away. React, then look serious. However, make sure that your whole face (eyes, jaw, cheeks and mouth) expresses the emotion, because a partial expression is also a giveaway.

3. Do not be defensive
Acording to police interrigation manuals, a liar will take a defensive attitude, while an honest person will go on the attack.
I can't believe you would accuse me of that, it's not as if you don't work late! - Good
How can you think I'd do that? - Bad

4. Avoid putting objects between you and your accuser
According to experts, putting objects between you and your accuser is a classic sign of lying. it is the mind looking for defence because it knows you are in trouble.

5. Do not let the subject drop
If your accuser changes the subject quickly this can be a trick to see if you look relieved. Maintain your anger for a short while and bring the subject back, thst's a pretty strong sign of innocence.

6. Face your accuser and make eye contact
Do not turn away or hide your face. It's a sure sign of guilt. look the other person in the ye. It takes some nerve but is the best way to defend yourself.

7. Remain natural in your movements
A liar is apparetly concetrating on his or her words so much that he or she becomes rigid and hardly moves. So try to move naturally. i must admit i have a problem with this area because my hands shake, but i can always put this down to my asthma which ofte causes me to shake. This is a particularly tough trick.

8. Control your hands and legs
Keep yourself open, do not cross your legs or arms and do not let your hands wander to your face. The latter is a big problem for me because i do it as a nervous habit whether i'm lying or not. But closed body language is a sign of a liar, so avoid it.

9. Do not parrot words or use long phrases
A liar will ofte repeat what the accuser has said in the answer. So in answer to do you have a Mistress?
No! - good
No I do not have a Mistress - bad

10. Do not change the subject
If you are in the middle of the argument it is bettr to be direct and keep it simple. Going off at a taget or trying to change the subject is a sure sign of guilt.

11. Do not be monotone
If your words have emphasis ad are not a monotone it sounds ore genuine and less like you are concentrating on maintaining a lie.

12. Keep it simple
Stick to your story and do not use elaborate words. Use words you would normally use, overly sophisticated phrases are also a giveaway.

13. Be careful with sarcasm
This is a sig of lying, but can still work in small doses if it is normal for you to use it in conversation or arguments generally.

Of course there are things which hard to hide, like my shaking hands or going extremely pale or your heart suddenly accelerating. In these cases just take deep breaths or run to the toilet and at least make it sound as though you are having a pee. It will give you a chance to rub some colour in your face even if it looks suspicious.

If you need help and advice as a tranny or a sub email or tweet me on @DaniTallulah.

Friday, 3 February 2012

Mistress' Motivational Maiding Methods

Mistress Scarlett Thorne is launching a fabulous new maid training service which i will be assisting with. For further details on enrolling scroll down. If you want to find out more of what you could experience or are just curious about the way of Dommes then read on.

As those who follow me on Twitter are already probably fed-up to the teeth in hearing about, there is nothing that makes me happier than being allowed to go and serve Mistress Scarlett Thorne, almost daily now as a maid and sometimes er... other things.

Arguably, being given the opportunity to spend lots of time with a Mistress and serve Her as well as being able to tranny-up in proper clothes rather than men's ones, should all be motivational enough to work hard and do a good job. But of course for various reasons it does not always work out this way and Dommes feel the need to motivate their slaves and subs in other ways to improve their performance.

Serving Scarlett Thorne has allowed me to experience a few of these methods which as far all have their pros and cons. essentially though they are from the traditional carrot and stick school of motivation, just that less conventionally some of them including the butt plug are arguably both.

Below are some of the methods along with my personal ratings out of 5 on how effective they are.

The Butt Plug:

Stick rating: 3 to 5 (depending on size)
Carrot rating: 3
Convenience: 3
Overall effectiveness: 4

As i have written at length about my  Adventures with a Butt Plug series it seems right to start with this popular motivational method used by Mistresses.

Pros: The great thing about a butt plug is that it is the perfect case of something acting as both carrot and stick at the same time. This method is also in easy to do and stays with a maid/ slave throughout her or his service and sometimes afterwards.

The butt plug certainly helps a maid keep good posture (essential for decorum and looking properly feminine) and it does focus the mind somewhat on the task in hand as well as what's inside you.

It also adds a great deal to being beaten on your backside in terms of potential pain and discomfort although actually it can add a lot of pleasure too (just don't admit it to Mistress when that's the case).

If it is a large butt plug the pain inflicted can teach a sub a valuable lesson especially if Mistress is inserting it Herself and is quite rough about it. As i've said before i've been left in a cold sweat shaking from the experience. On the other hand a nicer fitting size is extremely pleasurable for a maid and is actually a reward for good service.

Another advantage is that a Mistress does not even have to be in the building to insist a maid or sub has a butt plug inserted.

Cons: There is one major con, especially where a Mistress isn't in a position to keep an eye on the sub in question. Essentially it is that the great joy of having a butt plug inside is being able to sit down and jiggle around a bit. A Mistress will want the maid to be busy on her feet getting on with tasks, but there is a bit of an insentive to sit down and make the most of what is inside.


Stick rating: 3-5 (depending on implement and severity)
Carrot rating: 2
Convenience: 5
Overall rating: 4

Pros: The great advantage of this time honoured method is its simplicity, speed and directness. A Mistress can dish out instant punishment when She is displeased or encouragement to get a sub to work harder. This is after all the method people used to use to train dogs, although i should say that Scarlett Thorne would never hit a dog. But th point is that evn the most stupid slave will understand the quick message of a well aimed smack.

As an example, when i was mopping up Mistress Scarlett Thorne's piss off the dungeon floor after a session with another slave yesterday, She started beating me with Her hand shouting: "Mop up faster you little bitch! Hurry up! Hurry up!" while raining blows down on me. The memory will stay with me for a long time i hope.

Personally, i quite enjoy being beaten although i always curl up in self defence and it does help. Scarlett Thorne is very good at making it both a painful punishment and fun, which i guess is hardly surprising from a pro-Domme with more than a decade of experience. So it is a bit of a carrot as well as being an obvious stick (often literally).

It has to be said that when implements such as the came come into play then it is a lot more stick than carrot, although there are many who love being beaten with a cane and other things as well. i have to say i had my first caning the other day on the soles of my feet and i was crying.

Cons: Hard to think of any cons, but there is a minor problem with slaves who can't have marks left on them. In this case though the flat of the hand is pretty effective without leaving any evidence.


Stick rating: 5
Carrot rating: 4
Convenience: 1
Overall effectiveness: 5

Pros: In my humble opinion this is by far the most effective method in motivational maiding and cause enormous pain and pleasure. There are times you can literally fall to the floor in agony, but the buzz it gives you is also extremely stimulating.

Essentially it involves an eletrical battery powered device being tied on to the maid or usually stuck down her panties with two or more wired going out to stick on pads then attached to strategically sensitive spots. It is up to Mistress then to switch it on and turn up the intensity as such when She feels like it. Scarlett Thorne has a remote control which can be uised through brick walls.

It certainly makes you want to work quickly and well, especially when it is used for punishment and you know Mistress can turn it up at any moment. In fact there is nothing better for controlling a sub.

You can also go outside with the device.

Cons: The equipment can be bulky and it is fiddly to put on.

Chastity and releases:

Stick rating: 5 for chastity, 0 for releases
Carrot rating: 0 for chastity, 5 for releases
Convenience: 5 without devices, 1 with devices
Overall effectiveness: 4

Pros: Regular readers of this blog will have seen my musings on the importance of chastity in a Mistress' armoury and in the bond between Her and a slave.

As a long term method this is highly effective and the threat that it can be extended on a whim certainly focuses a slave's mind on performing well. Likewise the reward of a release, especially after some time in chastity is extremelymotivating.

Cons: It may not have the instant effect desired becuse chastity is something that taks time to properly inflict pain.

Also it relies entirely on trust and a slave being totally obedient to a Mistress. The only way around this is using devices which are expensive and difficult for many subs to wear in their normal vanilla lives.


Stick rating: 0
Carrot rating: 5
Convenience: 3
Overall effectiveness: 4

Pros: While service itself is nice, the promise of play or shopping trips or the odd little gift from a Mistress makes the sub feel appreciated and want to work harder as it does in other areas of life. The reward can also provide the Mistress with some fun too. Scarlett Thorne has been very generous to me especially with shopping trips.

Cons: If this is used to often a sub can forget that the reward of being able to serve is good enough in itself and it can become about getting something from Mistress. This ultimately leads to surliness and sulking when the rewards don't come.

Threat of the sack/ exile:

Stick rating: 5
Carrot rating: 0
Convenience: 5
Overall effectiveness: 5

Pros: There is no punishment greater than being exiled by a Mistress or even told you can't come and serve again. The threat of it should for a proper sub focus the mind completely on getting things right.

Cons: There is a certain finality about this method when used and usually no return. i have known one slave to be allowed back by Scarlett Thorne, but it is fair to say it might be a last chance.

If you want to enter a maid training course text Mistress Scarlett Thorne on 07910476639. The basic course is £120 and a little more for extras.

If you want any help and advice about being a tranny or a sub then e-mail me at or tweet me at @DaniTallulah.