Thursday, 15 December 2011

Entering the Tranny Wardrobe of Doom - what to do with your gurly clothes

This post is dedicated to one of my Twitter gurlpals @Sissy_Rebecca who has her own excellent cockhunter blog but who was chatting with me this week about how she sadly can't dress up because she has nowhere to hide her tranny clothes.

There is little more heart breaking than hearing about  a tranny who can't tranny up.

Whether your thing is frills, latex, pvc, little cotton dresses, the smoothness of silk or the light tough of satins the greatest joy of being a tranny is the clothes we gurls buy and wear. Even the searching and buying is enormous fun. i often spend hours browsing through websites looking at dresses, panties, bras and more dresses looking for something i really want or like.

But for all this to happen every tranny needs a place where clothes can be sent when mail ordered and stored in secrecy.

Now if you are lucky enough to be a proper lifestyle tranny like my sweet friend @maid_felicity, who lives on her own, then there is no real problem. She has the most wonderful walk-in wardrobe room, which i am thoroughly jealous of. It has a lock for when her parents come to visit.

For many of us gurls though who lead double lives where wives, family and workmates don't know of our kinky other existance finding a safe haven for our tranny gear is absolutely essential.

Let's be clear i would not have been able to have even started without the patronage and support of Mistress Scarlett Thorne. Many of you will have followed my and others tweets on the near mythical but actually very real Tranny Wardrobe of Doom at Mistress' now famous Tranny Flat.

i can reveal that it is not really an entrance to Narnia, although trannies have been temporarily lost in action when set the task of sorting it out - me included. It is though in all its complexities a wondrous treasure trove of tranny clothes and shoes of all sorts of styles, fabrics and sizes.

The collection has been built up by donations from Mistress and various slaves, and to a large extent by the fact that She has very generously allowed us to use Her space as a place where we can send and hide our clothes as well as wear them.This is perhaps the greatest gift Mistress has afforded us and She is an extremely generous individual who has bestowed much on Her slaves, especially Her favoured ones.

In this sense i truly landed on my feet and never had a problem since Mistress started me properly on the road to becoming a gurl.

So my top recommendation to @Sissy_Rebecca and others is to find a Mistress who can and will offer this sort of help.

However, it has to be said many trannies are not into being subs and even if they are it is hard to find a Mistress as generous as Scarlett Thorne who actually has the premises to fit a lot of tranny clothes. Mistress Thorne does more than most specialise in trannies so She is more geared up to it, but it is also a potentially expensive option with some Dommes charging wardrobe rent.

i should say at this juncture that while the Tranny Wardrobe of Doom is heaving (as the Scots might put it), it is not closed for business for trannies who are lucky enough to come under the wonderful influence of Scarlett Thorne.
But there are plenty of alternatives though to finding a Mistress to look after Your clothes. It is possible if you meet like minded friends to store clothes at their places. In both these cases though (Mistress or friends) you need to be prepared to wash the clothes yourself and contribute to the housekeeping.

Alternatively i have had clothes sent to me at work and secreted them there over periods of time, although i always try to get them to the Tranny Flat asap. Friends of mine have kept their clothes in lockers at work, or drawers for weeks and months. If you can lock it up and guarantee nobody else will see this is a very good option.

The problem though with work is that options for cleaning clothes are limited, you end up using the local laundrette and there is an issue with things that need hand washing.

Meanwhile there are potential options at home. While you may not want clothes delivered home by post you may have places to hide them if your partner is unlikely to go there. i know of one tranny who has his own study with a lock and keeps her clothes hidden there. At times i have hidden things  - including once a large bag of BDSM and sex toys - in my garage. Some people can use the garden shed or attic.

The main warning is that these options can end up getting you caught because a partner may eventually go in for other reasons. So if you do hide things at home keep them in locked travel cases or boxes and don't leave the key lying around.

Again, there is an issue with washing your clothes, which i'm afraid does have to be done unless you want to be filthy in more ways than your perversions. Basically if you have your clothes stashed away at home you need to pick a quiet few hours to wash things ad it is wise in these circumstances to have items you can put through the dryer as well.

For those who enjoyed part one of the butt plug epic, part 2 will be published very soon.

If you need help and advice as a tranny or a sub you can contact me by e-mail at trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah.

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Adventures with a Butt Plug (part 1) - the path to whoredom



This is going to be a pretty graphic post so if You're easily offended i've got to wonder why the hell you're reading it. But i think i need to be clear about why i started to shove a butt plug up my backside almost every day for between an hour and six hours.

This was all about preparing myself to be a tranny whore.

It is not a path that most would probably actually choose apart from in their fantasies but it's one which somehow i've found myself happily walking towards as Mistress Scarlett Thorne has lead me by the hand over the last year. Having said that it may end up being little more than a fantasy for me too, although i desperately hope it doesn't, but i'll at least have enjoyed preparing for the role.

So it is perhaps important to tackle myth that a tight arse is better to fuck. No it isn't. If the guy can't get his cock in or Mistress can't get the strap-on or double ender in then it's not much good. OK you don't necessarily want to be incredibly loose (depends how far you want to go with strap-ons i guess), but you do need to loosen up.

i remember my first trip to Sweet Wednesday's near Kings Cross in London, which is basically a place where trannies go to get fucked, men go to fuck trannies and others go to watch. At one point, much to my surprise because i start from the default position that people won't find me attractive, a well built guy literally picked me up, frogged marched me into a cubical, bent me over, pulled down my pants and rammed his cock up my arse.
While the experience was a huge turn on (even now thinking about it), it was also incredibly painful for me and difficult for him as well because i was much too tight for his cock. He eventually forced and battered his way in, but i felt like i was being ripped apart and it clearly annoyed him that he could not get in more easily.

There was a lot of "open up you stupid whore!" in between his heavy grunting in my ear.

Having said that he got what he wanted in the end although he wasn't able to get all the way in and I was left bleeding and it took me days before i could walk straight again.
This happened months ago but it led me to concentrate my efforts on blow jobs and avoid anal sex even though i desperately wanted it. The only person to fuck me up the arse was Mistress Scarlett Thorne with a strap-on or fingers.

Even last month when a drunken Eastern European chap decided he wanted to rape me in the toilet at Trannyshack in Soho, i actually felt nervous about being taken from behind as he pinned me against the wall and persuaded him that what he really wanted was a blowjob, luckily i give good blowjobs (more on that in another blog).

But when Mistress Scarlett and i started to talk about me working for Her as a working gurl the Sweet Wednesday's episode convinced me that it was essential for me to loosen up, not just for my own good but also because i think it would make me a better whore.

There is only one way to loosen up properly and that is to stretch your anal muscles and ring. The best way to do that is to keep something stuck up there for a decent period of time which is why butt plugs are ideal - at least in theory hold in because of their bulbous shape are ideal.

The other important thing about using a butt plug for whore preparation is that it helps you start using your muscles inside to clamp in on the butt plug to stop it falling out and to shift it around internally. The benefits of being able to do this to a cock are obvious so really with time approaching when Scarlett Thorne said She'd expect me to start working i entered this part of my training or rather it entered me.

The story will continue in future blogs to be published soon detailing the trials as well as the joys of using butt plugs and the best way to use them.

If you need help or advice as a tranny or a sub then em-mail me at trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me at @DaniTallulah

Friday, 9 December 2011

Chastity - Devices are for whimps!

This post on chastity has been inspired by my good Twitter gurlfriend @dicklet who serves the awesome @MistressRouge but has yet to be put in chastity.

It has to be said that it is much easier writing about this subject on a day Mistress Scarlett Thorne has allowed me three releases!

In her tweet to me @dicklet said: "i've never tried (could not wear a device at home). Mentally i would crumble too easily :( x"

Well, sadly (despite the title of this blog) i am in exactly the same position as @dicklet regarding devices. The trials of a double life as opposed to a full time lifestyle one meas we can't wander aroud 24/7 with a cage around our tranny clitoris (cock if you are a  male sub).

So the issue question really is how to do chastity properly without "mentally crumbling".

i speak with some pride on this matter in that i have genuinely cracked it. So while i have regularly begged and pleaded for a release, since i was put in chastity late last year for a misdemeanour i have not released without Mistress' permission since apart from during my short summer sabbatical.

That is not to say it has been easy. Even going a few days without a release if you're used to wanking or having sex most days (which most men are - at least wanking anyway) is extremely uncomfortable and a huge challenge.

i remember my first week of chastity well. i spent it in Morocco in the heat, the worst possible conditions, and basically had to sit in a cool swimming pool for long hours not to break chastity. i had to get up in the middle of the night to take cold showers and was literally biting my knuckles and climbing up the wall.

But despite the pain and discomfort - which i described in my earlier blog - i think it is only a question of adopting the right mental attitude to stay in chastity.

The main recommendation would be to treat your service to a Mistress like a religion. Think of monks and how (in theory) they managed to overcome their urges. After all, arguably, if you serve and worship a Mistress or male Dom properly you can have no other God or Goddess.

The top tip is to embrace fear. Monks feared the ravages of Hell, but in the case of a sub think of the Hell awaiting you if you anger and disappoint your Mistress by disobeying her - and breaking chastity is reasonably serious in the scale of disobeying.

For @dicklet this should not be difficult, @MistressRouge is truly terrifying when She's in a good mood. For me fear of the consequences of failing Scarlett Thorne got me through the first weeks of chastity.

A Mistress - particularly one who has worked in other parts of the sex industry - will know if you are breaking chastity from the swelling of your balls, although the science is not exact because the body does have involuntary releases.

But there is a subtler perhaps more important attitude. If you are serving a Mistress for its own sake as opposed to just getting your rocks off then chastity - as it was in organised religion - is the ultimate sign of devotion.

i know different subs take different attitudes to this and some see it as an endurance test, but for me the secret of chastity is not how often you release it is simply that your clitoris/ penis is owned by Mistress. This means you can release only when She commands it (on the odd occasion you may not want another release especially when Mistress has demanded five or six in a day). In that sense if you break chastity you are denying Mistress' ownership over you and you are not only cheating Her but also yourself and breaking the essential bond that should exist in a proper consnensual Domme/sub relationship.

So my reason for not breaking chastity - and the reason i begged and pleaded to be put back into it after the summer - has changed from one of fear to one of devotion. From that i have found the mental strength (because essentially that is what is required) to not break chastity and, despite the pain and discomfort, i never will do again. Of course, the problem with making these statements is that Mistress may test me over a very long period which really would be a challenge of my devotion.

For those who are really strong and can use their minds to control their physical functions it is - according to Mistress Scarlett Thorne - possible to switch off one's own sex drive. Although my sex drive switches off of its own accord on odd occasions i must admit i have not reached this particular point on the chastity path where i can do it at will. Somehow though it again feels like cheating just in a differet way ad i'd miss the pain as a reminder of Mistress' ownership over me.

So returning to the title of this post, devices are good and actualy a wonderful symbol of a slave's devotion in handing over the key. Really i'd love to wear one, but i think that the much greater sign of devotion and trust is to maintain chastity without a device, it requires a lot of mental strength but if you succeed it binds you much closer to Your Mistress. In some ways devices are a cop out because you have safeguarded yourself against weak mindedness and made sure it is no longer your choice.

Having said that in a future blog i will touch on some of the chastity devices out there, some of which such as the ones involving sounds and electrics bring tears to the eyes ad certainly are not for whimps or at least people who aren't tied down first.
Right off for another release ;)

If you need any help or advice as a tranny or a sub email me on trannyagony@live.co.uk or weet me on @DaniTallulah.

Thursday, 1 December 2011

A survival guide to leading double lives (3) - excuses

This is a blog Mistress Scarlett Thorne asked me to put together because a successful cover story is essential for living a double life as both a tranny and a BDSM slave.

This is a particularly apt one for me for my recent activity because ast Friday i had to come up with a rather special excuse to allow me to go to Pedestal in London as part of Scarlett Thorne's entourage this week on my most difficult night to get off which is a Friday.

Like with everything i do with Mistress it was worth the risk and in the case of Pedestal - one of the top fetish clubs anywhere - it is something i have wanted to do for a long time. i'm glad i got there, it may be a long time before i have another chance.

As i mentioned in an earlier blog the easiest and most obvious cover story is work but there are others. So i shall divide this post into three parts - work excuses, other excuses and essential preparation.

Work Excuses

Best way to get cover for your second life is through your job. It helps if it is one which flexible, you are not expected to be in the office all the time and preferably involves some travel.

With work there are all sorts of reasons you might be away or late. i'm lucky with my job in that it is varied, largely flexible and takes me to a lot of places. So here's a list of work related excuses i've used:

*Doing a night or weekend shift
*Attending a conference
*On a training course
*Taking a business trip
*Kept late in the office
*Entertaining contacts or clients
*At an awards dinner
*Carrying out extra freelance work
*Been called to head office for a personal review

Excuses to your boss:

It is also worth remembering that you will need to give excuses for not turning up to work. This is much easier if you are in a relatively flexible job.

Ones i have used include:

*i'm ill and can't come in (this can be over used and i've only done it once)
*i have a family matter i have to attend to
*i need to have an appointment with the doctor or at hospital for a condition
*i am seeing my solicitor about a legal matter/ house purchase/ a few other things i'm involved in
*i am owed the day off (my most common one which in my case has no questions asked)

Non-work related excuses:

While work is probably the easiest cover because it takes up so much time in most of our lives, there are other ways of explaining your absence. Unfortunately, i find that most of these are one-off excuses which can be repeated irregularly but not too often.

Here are some suggestions, all of which i've heard at some point:

*Going on a stag do/ hen night (almost had a disaster using that when the BDSM event got cancelled)
*Attending a birthday party or some other form of celebration
*Been offered a free holiday
*Visiting an old friend
*Out for the night with friends (some use this a lot but if your partner is like mine then he or she will be fairly intolerant of that one).
*Doing a charity event
*Off at an event with some club you are a member of
*Away performing or watching a sports event
*At the theatre or a concert
*Visiting somebody in hospital
Prepare your story properly - important tips:

*The top rule is to make CAUTION your watch word.

*Make sure there is a basis of truth to your story so you can talk properly about it.

*Have it clear in your head in case you are questioned.

*You DO NOT want to contradict yourself later.

*Do not give a story which easily unravels ie with one phone call to a friend or family member.
ie do not say you are visiting your mother unless your partner doesn't talk to your mother.

*The people in the story should be people your partner/ work have no contact with.

*Make sure you know the details of the play/ match/ conference or whatever you claim to be at, or at least enough to bullshit through questions.

*Be consistant with your story. Do not tell one person one thing and then another something different if there is a good chance they will talk.

*Make sure your story is believable and not outlanhdish, seemingly a normal thing in your life.

*VERY IMPORTANT: When you leave the house think of yourself as doing the thing you claim to be doing in your story, which means preparing for it.
In other words if your story involves air travel then take your passport. It involves staying in a hotel then take your wash gear and a change of clothes. If necessary buy tickets for planes and trains. Do not leave any room for suspicion.

You may have other ideas for excuses. Please feel free to leave them in the comments section.

My next blog will be in the next day or two and will be on my efforts at stretching with a butt plug with some useful tips.

If you need tranny or sub help or advice email me on trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me at @DaniTallulah