Thursday, 15 December 2011

Entering the Tranny Wardrobe of Doom - what to do with your gurly clothes

This post is dedicated to one of my Twitter gurlpals @Sissy_Rebecca who has her own excellent cockhunter blog but who was chatting with me this week about how she sadly can't dress up because she has nowhere to hide her tranny clothes.

There is little more heart breaking than hearing about  a tranny who can't tranny up.

Whether your thing is frills, latex, pvc, little cotton dresses, the smoothness of silk or the light tough of satins the greatest joy of being a tranny is the clothes we gurls buy and wear. Even the searching and buying is enormous fun. i often spend hours browsing through websites looking at dresses, panties, bras and more dresses looking for something i really want or like.

But for all this to happen every tranny needs a place where clothes can be sent when mail ordered and stored in secrecy.

Now if you are lucky enough to be a proper lifestyle tranny like my sweet friend @maid_felicity, who lives on her own, then there is no real problem. She has the most wonderful walk-in wardrobe room, which i am thoroughly jealous of. It has a lock for when her parents come to visit.

For many of us gurls though who lead double lives where wives, family and workmates don't know of our kinky other existance finding a safe haven for our tranny gear is absolutely essential.

Let's be clear i would not have been able to have even started without the patronage and support of Mistress Scarlett Thorne. Many of you will have followed my and others tweets on the near mythical but actually very real Tranny Wardrobe of Doom at Mistress' now famous Tranny Flat.

i can reveal that it is not really an entrance to Narnia, although trannies have been temporarily lost in action when set the task of sorting it out - me included. It is though in all its complexities a wondrous treasure trove of tranny clothes and shoes of all sorts of styles, fabrics and sizes.

The collection has been built up by donations from Mistress and various slaves, and to a large extent by the fact that She has very generously allowed us to use Her space as a place where we can send and hide our clothes as well as wear them.This is perhaps the greatest gift Mistress has afforded us and She is an extremely generous individual who has bestowed much on Her slaves, especially Her favoured ones.

In this sense i truly landed on my feet and never had a problem since Mistress started me properly on the road to becoming a gurl.

So my top recommendation to @Sissy_Rebecca and others is to find a Mistress who can and will offer this sort of help.

However, it has to be said many trannies are not into being subs and even if they are it is hard to find a Mistress as generous as Scarlett Thorne who actually has the premises to fit a lot of tranny clothes. Mistress Thorne does more than most specialise in trannies so She is more geared up to it, but it is also a potentially expensive option with some Dommes charging wardrobe rent.

i should say at this juncture that while the Tranny Wardrobe of Doom is heaving (as the Scots might put it), it is not closed for business for trannies who are lucky enough to come under the wonderful influence of Scarlett Thorne.
But there are plenty of alternatives though to finding a Mistress to look after Your clothes. It is possible if you meet like minded friends to store clothes at their places. In both these cases though (Mistress or friends) you need to be prepared to wash the clothes yourself and contribute to the housekeeping.

Alternatively i have had clothes sent to me at work and secreted them there over periods of time, although i always try to get them to the Tranny Flat asap. Friends of mine have kept their clothes in lockers at work, or drawers for weeks and months. If you can lock it up and guarantee nobody else will see this is a very good option.

The problem though with work is that options for cleaning clothes are limited, you end up using the local laundrette and there is an issue with things that need hand washing.

Meanwhile there are potential options at home. While you may not want clothes delivered home by post you may have places to hide them if your partner is unlikely to go there. i know of one tranny who has his own study with a lock and keeps her clothes hidden there. At times i have hidden things  - including once a large bag of BDSM and sex toys - in my garage. Some people can use the garden shed or attic.

The main warning is that these options can end up getting you caught because a partner may eventually go in for other reasons. So if you do hide things at home keep them in locked travel cases or boxes and don't leave the key lying around.

Again, there is an issue with washing your clothes, which i'm afraid does have to be done unless you want to be filthy in more ways than your perversions. Basically if you have your clothes stashed away at home you need to pick a quiet few hours to wash things ad it is wise in these circumstances to have items you can put through the dryer as well.

For those who enjoyed part one of the butt plug epic, part 2 will be published very soon.

If you need help and advice as a tranny or a sub you can contact me by e-mail at trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah.

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Adventures with a Butt Plug (part 1) - the path to whoredom



This is going to be a pretty graphic post so if You're easily offended i've got to wonder why the hell you're reading it. But i think i need to be clear about why i started to shove a butt plug up my backside almost every day for between an hour and six hours.

This was all about preparing myself to be a tranny whore.

It is not a path that most would probably actually choose apart from in their fantasies but it's one which somehow i've found myself happily walking towards as Mistress Scarlett Thorne has lead me by the hand over the last year. Having said that it may end up being little more than a fantasy for me too, although i desperately hope it doesn't, but i'll at least have enjoyed preparing for the role.

So it is perhaps important to tackle myth that a tight arse is better to fuck. No it isn't. If the guy can't get his cock in or Mistress can't get the strap-on or double ender in then it's not much good. OK you don't necessarily want to be incredibly loose (depends how far you want to go with strap-ons i guess), but you do need to loosen up.

i remember my first trip to Sweet Wednesday's near Kings Cross in London, which is basically a place where trannies go to get fucked, men go to fuck trannies and others go to watch. At one point, much to my surprise because i start from the default position that people won't find me attractive, a well built guy literally picked me up, frogged marched me into a cubical, bent me over, pulled down my pants and rammed his cock up my arse.
While the experience was a huge turn on (even now thinking about it), it was also incredibly painful for me and difficult for him as well because i was much too tight for his cock. He eventually forced and battered his way in, but i felt like i was being ripped apart and it clearly annoyed him that he could not get in more easily.

There was a lot of "open up you stupid whore!" in between his heavy grunting in my ear.

Having said that he got what he wanted in the end although he wasn't able to get all the way in and I was left bleeding and it took me days before i could walk straight again.
This happened months ago but it led me to concentrate my efforts on blow jobs and avoid anal sex even though i desperately wanted it. The only person to fuck me up the arse was Mistress Scarlett Thorne with a strap-on or fingers.

Even last month when a drunken Eastern European chap decided he wanted to rape me in the toilet at Trannyshack in Soho, i actually felt nervous about being taken from behind as he pinned me against the wall and persuaded him that what he really wanted was a blowjob, luckily i give good blowjobs (more on that in another blog).

But when Mistress Scarlett and i started to talk about me working for Her as a working gurl the Sweet Wednesday's episode convinced me that it was essential for me to loosen up, not just for my own good but also because i think it would make me a better whore.

There is only one way to loosen up properly and that is to stretch your anal muscles and ring. The best way to do that is to keep something stuck up there for a decent period of time which is why butt plugs are ideal - at least in theory hold in because of their bulbous shape are ideal.

The other important thing about using a butt plug for whore preparation is that it helps you start using your muscles inside to clamp in on the butt plug to stop it falling out and to shift it around internally. The benefits of being able to do this to a cock are obvious so really with time approaching when Scarlett Thorne said She'd expect me to start working i entered this part of my training or rather it entered me.

The story will continue in future blogs to be published soon detailing the trials as well as the joys of using butt plugs and the best way to use them.

If you need help or advice as a tranny or a sub then em-mail me at trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me at @DaniTallulah

Friday, 9 December 2011

Chastity - Devices are for whimps!

This post on chastity has been inspired by my good Twitter gurlfriend @dicklet who serves the awesome @MistressRouge but has yet to be put in chastity.

It has to be said that it is much easier writing about this subject on a day Mistress Scarlett Thorne has allowed me three releases!

In her tweet to me @dicklet said: "i've never tried (could not wear a device at home). Mentally i would crumble too easily :( x"

Well, sadly (despite the title of this blog) i am in exactly the same position as @dicklet regarding devices. The trials of a double life as opposed to a full time lifestyle one meas we can't wander aroud 24/7 with a cage around our tranny clitoris (cock if you are a  male sub).

So the issue question really is how to do chastity properly without "mentally crumbling".

i speak with some pride on this matter in that i have genuinely cracked it. So while i have regularly begged and pleaded for a release, since i was put in chastity late last year for a misdemeanour i have not released without Mistress' permission since apart from during my short summer sabbatical.

That is not to say it has been easy. Even going a few days without a release if you're used to wanking or having sex most days (which most men are - at least wanking anyway) is extremely uncomfortable and a huge challenge.

i remember my first week of chastity well. i spent it in Morocco in the heat, the worst possible conditions, and basically had to sit in a cool swimming pool for long hours not to break chastity. i had to get up in the middle of the night to take cold showers and was literally biting my knuckles and climbing up the wall.

But despite the pain and discomfort - which i described in my earlier blog - i think it is only a question of adopting the right mental attitude to stay in chastity.

The main recommendation would be to treat your service to a Mistress like a religion. Think of monks and how (in theory) they managed to overcome their urges. After all, arguably, if you serve and worship a Mistress or male Dom properly you can have no other God or Goddess.

The top tip is to embrace fear. Monks feared the ravages of Hell, but in the case of a sub think of the Hell awaiting you if you anger and disappoint your Mistress by disobeying her - and breaking chastity is reasonably serious in the scale of disobeying.

For @dicklet this should not be difficult, @MistressRouge is truly terrifying when She's in a good mood. For me fear of the consequences of failing Scarlett Thorne got me through the first weeks of chastity.

A Mistress - particularly one who has worked in other parts of the sex industry - will know if you are breaking chastity from the swelling of your balls, although the science is not exact because the body does have involuntary releases.

But there is a subtler perhaps more important attitude. If you are serving a Mistress for its own sake as opposed to just getting your rocks off then chastity - as it was in organised religion - is the ultimate sign of devotion.

i know different subs take different attitudes to this and some see it as an endurance test, but for me the secret of chastity is not how often you release it is simply that your clitoris/ penis is owned by Mistress. This means you can release only when She commands it (on the odd occasion you may not want another release especially when Mistress has demanded five or six in a day). In that sense if you break chastity you are denying Mistress' ownership over you and you are not only cheating Her but also yourself and breaking the essential bond that should exist in a proper consnensual Domme/sub relationship.

So my reason for not breaking chastity - and the reason i begged and pleaded to be put back into it after the summer - has changed from one of fear to one of devotion. From that i have found the mental strength (because essentially that is what is required) to not break chastity and, despite the pain and discomfort, i never will do again. Of course, the problem with making these statements is that Mistress may test me over a very long period which really would be a challenge of my devotion.

For those who are really strong and can use their minds to control their physical functions it is - according to Mistress Scarlett Thorne - possible to switch off one's own sex drive. Although my sex drive switches off of its own accord on odd occasions i must admit i have not reached this particular point on the chastity path where i can do it at will. Somehow though it again feels like cheating just in a differet way ad i'd miss the pain as a reminder of Mistress' ownership over me.

So returning to the title of this post, devices are good and actualy a wonderful symbol of a slave's devotion in handing over the key. Really i'd love to wear one, but i think that the much greater sign of devotion and trust is to maintain chastity without a device, it requires a lot of mental strength but if you succeed it binds you much closer to Your Mistress. In some ways devices are a cop out because you have safeguarded yourself against weak mindedness and made sure it is no longer your choice.

Having said that in a future blog i will touch on some of the chastity devices out there, some of which such as the ones involving sounds and electrics bring tears to the eyes ad certainly are not for whimps or at least people who aren't tied down first.
Right off for another release ;)

If you need any help or advice as a tranny or a sub email me on trannyagony@live.co.uk or weet me on @DaniTallulah.

Thursday, 1 December 2011

A survival guide to leading double lives (3) - excuses

This is a blog Mistress Scarlett Thorne asked me to put together because a successful cover story is essential for living a double life as both a tranny and a BDSM slave.

This is a particularly apt one for me for my recent activity because ast Friday i had to come up with a rather special excuse to allow me to go to Pedestal in London as part of Scarlett Thorne's entourage this week on my most difficult night to get off which is a Friday.

Like with everything i do with Mistress it was worth the risk and in the case of Pedestal - one of the top fetish clubs anywhere - it is something i have wanted to do for a long time. i'm glad i got there, it may be a long time before i have another chance.

As i mentioned in an earlier blog the easiest and most obvious cover story is work but there are others. So i shall divide this post into three parts - work excuses, other excuses and essential preparation.

Work Excuses

Best way to get cover for your second life is through your job. It helps if it is one which flexible, you are not expected to be in the office all the time and preferably involves some travel.

With work there are all sorts of reasons you might be away or late. i'm lucky with my job in that it is varied, largely flexible and takes me to a lot of places. So here's a list of work related excuses i've used:

*Doing a night or weekend shift
*Attending a conference
*On a training course
*Taking a business trip
*Kept late in the office
*Entertaining contacts or clients
*At an awards dinner
*Carrying out extra freelance work
*Been called to head office for a personal review

Excuses to your boss:

It is also worth remembering that you will need to give excuses for not turning up to work. This is much easier if you are in a relatively flexible job.

Ones i have used include:

*i'm ill and can't come in (this can be over used and i've only done it once)
*i have a family matter i have to attend to
*i need to have an appointment with the doctor or at hospital for a condition
*i am seeing my solicitor about a legal matter/ house purchase/ a few other things i'm involved in
*i am owed the day off (my most common one which in my case has no questions asked)

Non-work related excuses:

While work is probably the easiest cover because it takes up so much time in most of our lives, there are other ways of explaining your absence. Unfortunately, i find that most of these are one-off excuses which can be repeated irregularly but not too often.

Here are some suggestions, all of which i've heard at some point:

*Going on a stag do/ hen night (almost had a disaster using that when the BDSM event got cancelled)
*Attending a birthday party or some other form of celebration
*Been offered a free holiday
*Visiting an old friend
*Out for the night with friends (some use this a lot but if your partner is like mine then he or she will be fairly intolerant of that one).
*Doing a charity event
*Off at an event with some club you are a member of
*Away performing or watching a sports event
*At the theatre or a concert
*Visiting somebody in hospital
Prepare your story properly - important tips:

*The top rule is to make CAUTION your watch word.

*Make sure there is a basis of truth to your story so you can talk properly about it.

*Have it clear in your head in case you are questioned.

*You DO NOT want to contradict yourself later.

*Do not give a story which easily unravels ie with one phone call to a friend or family member.
ie do not say you are visiting your mother unless your partner doesn't talk to your mother.

*The people in the story should be people your partner/ work have no contact with.

*Make sure you know the details of the play/ match/ conference or whatever you claim to be at, or at least enough to bullshit through questions.

*Be consistant with your story. Do not tell one person one thing and then another something different if there is a good chance they will talk.

*Make sure your story is believable and not outlanhdish, seemingly a normal thing in your life.

*VERY IMPORTANT: When you leave the house think of yourself as doing the thing you claim to be doing in your story, which means preparing for it.
In other words if your story involves air travel then take your passport. It involves staying in a hotel then take your wash gear and a change of clothes. If necessary buy tickets for planes and trains. Do not leave any room for suspicion.

You may have other ideas for excuses. Please feel free to leave them in the comments section.

My next blog will be in the next day or two and will be on my efforts at stretching with a butt plug with some useful tips.

If you need tranny or sub help or advice email me on trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me at @DaniTallulah

Sunday, 13 November 2011

A roadmap for finding the right Mistress



Start point: You're a would-be slave looking for a Mistress. Where do you go from here? Follow these directions and signs and with some added luck and careful driving you may eventually find the Mistress of your dreams.

This actually seems an appropriate topic to talk about on the first anniversary of being properly owned by Mistress Scarlett Thorne, if you recall i was baptised in a bath of Her piss (ah.. happy memory). But finding a Mistress was the start of what has been a wonderful journey, although it was not an easy path at the beginning.

The notion of a slave choosing his or her Mistress seems a little bit odd, but essentially that is of course what initially happens because the vast majority of these encounters and relationships begin for a slave as one of a client fuinding a Domme.

It is also true to say that Dommes, especially the better ones, choose Their slaves and can be very picky. It took me two months of hard effort to first see Scarlett Thorne, although it was certainly worth the effort and climbing that particular rockface to get to the true path.
Direction 1: If you have found a Mistress you think you would really like to serve, don't give up if it takes a while to see Her unless She tells you in no uncertain terms to go away. Some Mistresses like potential slaves to beg over a period of time. A Mistress who can afford to be choosy is probably worth seeing.

For obvious reasons, Mistresses are particularly picky when it comes to setting up some sort of lifestyle arrangement with. In that sense my one year anniversary of Mistress essentially picking me to be one of Her tranny slaves as opposed to a year on from when i first met Her is far more important to me.

There are different approaches to finding the right Mistress. If you are looking for a quick pervy kick and don't have an interest in building some sort of relationship as a slave of a Mistress then it probably doesn't matter too much who you see although it's still no bad idea to find a proper practioner as opposed to somebody who is just offering the service as an extra.

Direction 2: Slutting around may get you to your destination but you may end up getting lost.

Some subs enjoy slutting around with lots of different Mistresses, maybe because they enjoy variety. This is the case with one of my close sub friends until he was turned by Scarlett Thorne.

It can be that slutting around is actually also just a good way of finding the right Mistress and hoping She likes you enough to see you again. After all you don't really know until you meet somebody. But if you want to keep a close care of your identity this is perhaps a risky approach, it can also be expensive.

More importantly some Mistresses really don't like slaves slutting around especially after they have seen them, so it can cause offence and close some doors. Basically you're saying to them "You weren't good enough".

i have to say that i was extremely lucky in that i'm the slave equivalent of a prospector who found a rich gold mine with the first shake of his tray. i say "luck" but it was not completely lucky in that i spent a lot of time researching who to go to before i settled on Scarlett Thorne.

Direction 3: Find a mistress who is really interested in your interests. Read Their don't dos and check for preferred activities.

Obviously the easiest way to find a Mistress is on the web these days. Google takes a more leniant attitude to Dommes than it does to other parts of the sex industry.

There are hundreds and thousands of sites out there and most Mistresses have Their own website which will list things They do and don't do. It is very important to look at what They don't do otherwise there can be some unfortunate misunderstandings. Things like hardsports and bloodsports are specialities that many Mistresses do not like.

Most Mistresses will say they do most of the things which are normally asked for, but a lot will also tell you what They really like. Take careful note of this.

For example you may want a more sensual Mistress who is interested in forced bi and cross dressing or one who is a lot more proper and austere or go for something more brutal into heavy caning or genuinely extreme. This is a bit over simplified but hopefully you get the gist.

Direction 4: Look for experience. A Mistress who has been Domming for a long time is more skills and more likely to be trusted.

It may be tempting to go for somebody because they are young and good looking, but actually they may have little knowledge of Domming. If you want somebody to have sex with then look for that, if you want to be a slave then look for something different.

This of course does not mean Dommes who are young and good looking should be ruled out. Both Scarlett Thorne is in Her 20s and looks great but has been Domming for a few years. In Mistress Thorne's case a decade.

Experience guarantees that the Mistress knows what She's doung. BDSM is actually a very complicated and at times dangerous activity so you don't want some amateur sticking things into you without the necessary skill and care.

The other thing about a Domme who has been in the business for a while is that they are seriously committed to it and not looking for a fast buck. This means that if you have cause for fearing your identity may be revealed then you are much safer.

Direction 5: Avoid Mistresses who love publicising themselves regularly in newspapers, magazines and on TV.

This tip is again mainly for those who need to hide their identity. Many Dommes may not like this, but when somebody takes the coin of the media, especially if they become a personality then they will attract much more unwanted attention and may also be more likely to be the type who would pass your name on.

Direction 6: Take your time about it

This is after all a very important life decision and one which can make a significant change to your life in a wonderful way if you get it right. So it is better to take your time,  research properly and get it right first time.

Direction 7: Don't go round in circles getting worried about whether Mistresses have been in other parts of the sex industry or not

There is quite a debate over whether Mistresses are or aren't part of the sex industry and whether those who have been prostitutes, poll dancers or something else before can be trusted or a re proper Dommes. It's a bit of a beltway argument between Mistresses to be honest but it does cause some quite bitter exchanges.

One school of thought is that a Domme is actually the pinacle of the sex industry and can be only done by somebody who has worked their way up and learned the ropes the hard way as such. Others prefer to think of BDSM as something different and Dommes should not mix with the sex industry at all.

There are excellent Dommes in both camps, so it really shouldn't worry you too much.


Direction 8: Find a Mistress with a caring side.

This may seem to be an odd tip for a relationship which involves punishment, torture and humiliation, but a cold man hater who really doesn't mind what damage She inflicts on you is not as good as the fantasy. i don't say this through personal experience, but i know of some pretty hairy stories which in some cases have ended up with the police (although i would suggest to a slave to just walkaway and never go to the Old Bill).

The odd thing is that a Mistress who cares for Her slaves is one who can get the best out of punishment, torture and humiliation. This is one of the great strengths of Scarlett Thorne.
Direction 9: Most importantly, find a Mistress you can believe in. This could be in looks as well as personality, but it is somebody you really want to serve.

This is the most important thing especially if you want to make some sort of commitment or lifestyle arrangement with the Mistress in question. Looks are important which is why Dommes spend so much time and money on clothes, atmosphere etc. This is not necessarily conventional beauty just somebody who inspires awe and wonder. Some are heavil ito tattoos and body modification which is almost its own interest area for some subs.

But most important of all, at least for me is, personality. You need to feel that the person has authority over you and is somebody who naturally exerts control.

There are some Mistresses who you can sense psychological weakness in and personally i could not serve somebody who was psychologically weaker than me. To be dominated you need to be pitted against somebody who can take over your mind.

i don't think the same is true of physical strength although some do. For me a Mistress may be smaller physically but tower above me psychologically and that is perhaps key to the whole relationship working.

As an example dogs do not see each other in terms of physical size. i once had a little Westie which pursued and terrified rottweillers. The point is that dogs sense size of personality and dominance through their noses as opposed to physical size and their reactions are based on that. i believe a successful Mistress/ slave arrangement is similar.

Destination: All this is a long way of saying - find yourself a top Bitch ;) However, if you've reached this point then you're actually just at the start of an amazing journey.

If you need help or advice as a tranny or a sub e-mail me at trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah.

Monday, 7 November 2011

Shopping for frilly knickers - the neverending tranny quest



Back from my mini-adventure in France and Italy and then house hunting for Mistress Scarlett Thorne, i've got some time to start blogging again and sadly i'm a little behind on requests.

But i'll start with one i received this week because it covers one of the great joys of being a tranny as well as being a great cause of nervousness, especially for newbies - clothes shopping.

As a man i hated shopping (except for music and books) but i've fallen in love with Britain's top leisure pursuit since i embraced my tranny self and there is nothing nicer than going clothes shopping, particularly with Mistress and my tranny friends (@Maid_Felicity especially is a natural born shopper).

The request i received from @dicklet - one of the rather intimidating and awesome Mistress Rouge's slaves - asked me about where it is best to go shopping for frilly knickers, preferably in the High Street. The sinple answer to @dicklet is: "Where do you want to begin?" because there is so much choice out there.

The real issues are how much you want to spend, and whether you want classy, naughty or slutty.

Personally, as followers of mine on Twitter know, i prefer web shopping. It's easier to do and is a cowards way out from evil stares as a man or tranny wanders through the women's underwear department. Let's not even talk about the evil women who guard fitting rooms.

But as far as actual shops go i'm a bit of a Primark slut. It's cheap and does a great range of good quality sexy clothes including underwear. The sadly limited time i have to go shopping means i often go there as first choice.

It may sound like the shopping choice of your mother but a very good place for underwear is Marks and Spencer. I also have a personal liking for La Senza (which is Italian for 'without' suggesting a more minimalist approach).

But most places which sell a good range of women's clothes will have a decent selection of underwear, so it's worth wandering around, especially if you have time. I also really like Next, but more for dresses and it's not that cheap.

You will see from @dicklet's comment that i missed out supermarkets. Generally, they're ok and reasonably priced but i'm never taken much by the selection. Asda is by far the best.

For naughtier looks there is always Ann Summers on most High Streets. For the really naughty stuff head to the sex shops, Soho in London has plenty of places.

One tip for those who live in London and want to feel relaxed tranny shopping is to head straight to Camden Market and look around the shops and market there. Not always the cheapest although not really expensive but there are wonderful clothes (of all types) to be found and is a genuinely relaxed and liberal place. It is rare for a shopkeeper there to bat an eyelid for a man in a suit asking to try on girls clothes. The place is also just fun to be at and i have to say i go as often as i can.

However, i should add that apparently Brick Lane Market in London is even better than Camden. While i haven't been, Mistress Scarlett Thorne, who has impecable taste in these matters, was there the other day and said it completely slaps Camden down.

There are also some decent tranny shops such as Transformation near Euston, which i visited last week and wish i could have more time in although it was a little expensive. Online there is also Westwardbound and Honour, which also both have shops.

But online shopping does bring me to my favourite site of all - ebay. If you are looking for a good deal there is plenty of fun to be had searching it and finding some wonderful clothes. Just make sure you know your correct size.

i can promise you there will be plenty more blogs on shopping. There will be more blogs on other subjects this week too.

If you have any concerns, queries about being a tranny or a sub then e-mail me at TrannyAgony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah.

Thursday, 20 October 2011

Hair today wish it was gone tomorrow (2)

Following on from the last blog i thought it might be helpful for the many trannies out there who cannot find a good excuse to get away with ridding themselves of all that unwanted body hair to provide some alternative options.

It's a position i'm in because of my vanilla (normal world) domestic arrangements, although i hope to change that at some point.

However, while it is frustrating to not be in an easy position to get rid of hair, an awful lot of fun can be had in finding sexy ways to cover it. The purist trannies out there might sneer and suggest that a gurl should just wax, but i've had my successes without going to such extreme lengths.

i managed to win a Miss Trannyshack competition (the club hosted on Wednesday nights by Miss DustyO at the fabulous Madame JoJo's in Brewer Street, Soho) with concealed hair, although it was a drunken night. Here's me (in the red corset and dress) on the fateful night on stage with my tranny sis @MsEmilyAnarchy (stage right), who frankly was robbed and should have won. Apologies for the pic quality was taken from a blackberry.



i also have managed to attract quite a lot of interest in clubs from gentlemen and a little business. So concealment can still be sexy and it can work.

OK, as i said in the last blog, i did come a little unstuck at the English Mansion Ball, but that was a very close inspecition delivered to all slaves with the intention of finding reasons to punish them.
Anyway here are some clothing tips to conceal that unwanted hair.

1. A high necked dress
*Just because it doesn't show cleavage doesn't mean a dress can't be sexy
*The sexy pink one below is one i bought and love wearing out


2. A net top (try the cob web ones)
*A good way of concealing the top of the body if you are in a corset or low cut top
*i won Pretty Miss Tranny Shack wearing one of these.
*Also hany for hiding arm pit hair with sleeveless tops



3. Long gloves
*Velvet, pvc, rubber, leather, lace (i have them all) whatever your kick, these always look good.
*Also hide bad nails and big hands.


4. Fishnet stockings or tights
*Given that they have holes these are surprisingly effective at hiding leg hair.



5. Leg length boots
*Can't beat sexy, high heeled boots and long ones which hug the leg look great as well as hiding what's underneath.


6. Long elegant dresses
*Doesn't have to be short and showing leg to look sexy.
*There are lots of lovely longdresses, ball gowns and the like out there which both look good and cover up hair very effectively.
*One acquaintance who has quite dark hair has a real kink for wedding dresses. Looks amazing in them.

7. Realistic fake boobs
*Here is the first product placement, although it is only because i like the product but it is worth looking at http://bountifulbosoms.co.uk/
*Basically they do very realistic fake boobs with a full chest section which can be strapped on and make it look as though your top is hair free.
*Also gives you great tits! My tranny sis @MsEmilyAnarchy has a pair and i intend to get a pair too.
*They start at £275.
*Only drawback is that you sweat a lot under the silicone, which means that if you have nipple clamps underneath they slip off.

8. A veil
*Only if you insist on keeping a beard, not a good idea!
*When i was in my transitional stage and still had a beard Mistress gave me a veil and threatened to put me in a Bhurka. The beard didn't last long.

9. High collars, ruffles, scarves, big necklaces
*Just been reminded of this by @PrincessTST .
*Good way of hiding hair on the neck and top of the chest
*Also distracts from any hair or blemishes etc, which is part of the trick

10. Subtle trim shaving
*While you may not be able to do the whole body or anything much taking a few centremetres off from your chest, arm or hands etc may not be very noticable but can make dressing so much easier.
*i've started doing this 

11. Make-up
*Foundation is the best way of hiding stubble, especially if it grows back quickly



So there are plenty of things which can be done to look good without going to get waxed. Remember that you may need to live comfortably in two lives so some careful clothes selections may be the answer to your needs.

If you want any help or advice with your tranny or sub life e-mail me on trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Hair today wish it was gone tomorrow

i have been asked to write a piece on the vexed issue of body hair by @sissy_rebecca and in particular reasons to give to people in her vanilla life for the sudden disappearance of it.
 
This is a major problem for many trannies out there, especially those of us leading double lives. After all you don't feel properly feminised with a carpet of male body hair covering much of your body. i got into trouble at the English Mansion Ball for having body hair after a close inspection even though it was very well concealed.
 
On the other hand though, this is not a modification that can be hidden in your vanilla (ordinary) life. Clothes can be changed, make-up washed off, but hair takes quite a while to grow back. Beyond breast implants and medical procedures this is the biggest change you can do to yourself.
 
Unfortunately this is a question i am still trying to properly answer for myself. To my slight embarrassment it took me more than a month to work up the courage to get rid of my beard after i first got put into dresses. Sounds silly but it was a major change of image, not popular among those close to me in my vanilla (ordinary) life and my family still complain about me shaving the damn thing off!
 
But body hair is a much tougher proposition, partly because shaving it is not actually the best way forward. If you're going to do it, get a full body wax or even lasered if you're very brave (more on the best ways of ridding yourself of hair in future blogs). The main probelm though is that it is a dramatic physical change and one which may not be understood or fully accepted by those in your vanilla life.
 
Some trannies are lucky because they have more easy going partners, while other partners can be utterly intolerant of it and, at the extreme end, take the view that it is unnatural for a man to want to remove his body hair.
 
For this reason many part time, double life trannies, including me at the moment, simply don't bite that particular bullet and look for ways to get round the hair problem. But that is a subject for another blog to be published very soon.
 
Here are 10 possible excuses but feel free to leave your own suggestions in the comment box.
 
1. The old classic - "I was out with the lads and look what they did?"
*Hopeless excuse, easily unraveled unless you want your drunken mates to actually shave you which could be a tad risky.
*Also shows a serious lack of imagination
 
2. "I'm doing it for charity"
*If you're going to use this excuse thwen actually do it for charity, beats sitting in a bath of custard
*The problem is doing it again when the stuff grows back
 
3. "I fancy a change of image, I'm fed up of looking like a gorilla"
*Quite a dramatic change of image.
*This works well with reasonalby tolerant partners.
*Just make sure they don't clock on to what image you want to change to.
 
4. "It's my body I can do what I like with it!"
*A bit confrontational but worth a go if all else fails.
*Still doesn't really explain why you've had expensive and painful treatment
 
5. "Body hair makes me feel dirty and disgusting"
*Good for a long game on the issue with intolerant partners.
This is one i'm currently trying.
 
6. "Did you know that removing body hair is better for your skin?"
*Be prepared to have to justify that claim, not obviously easy to prove largely because it's less convincing than a politician's promise.
 
7. "I thought you (partner) might prefer the feel of smooth skin in bed."
*Not a bad one unless your partner thinks men should be hairy
 
8. "I've taken up swimming seriously and it improves my performance"
*Has the advantage of leaving you in fitter shape for some more interesting tranny activities.
*Is though perhaps on the extreme end and only suits athletic types.
 
9. "Having a lot of hair makes me feel too hot"
*It is true that body hair warms up the body significantly, which is one reason my partner is so opposed to me losing it.
*Obviously don't try this excuse in the winter.
*You could just about get away with it in the summer.
 
10. "I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side"
*Only works with tolerant partners.
*Is as close to an admission that youn are a tranny without saying so.
*But is a good way of preparing the ground if you want to come out as a tranny and normalise it as part of your life.
 
If you want any help or advice in your tranny or sub lives e-mail me on trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah

Monday, 17 October 2011

A survival guide for double lives (2) - 3 Top Tips

The last blog generated quite a lot of interest and thanks for people who have sent me comments.

This is a subject which is almost worthy of a book, but i thought it woulod help if i gave you all a list of basic things to do which make the whole double life thing much easier.

Remember that what you need to hide is your communications and your financial transactions, so here is what you need to put in place.

1. Get an extra phone for your second life
*Make it a pay as you go so no bills with numbers arrive at home.
*Don't try to hide the phone's existence, just say it comes from work or is a spare back up. If a phone you've hidden is discovered it can be much harder to explain.
*One way i get round it is through a pay as you go Blackberry which is cheap to run and i say i need to store information and use for internet.

2. Set up an anonymous e-mail address
*Easy to use hotmail, yahoo or something similar.
*Make sure you delete evidence of it on home computers after use.

3. Set up a paperless credit card or bank account or one with a different address
*It means you can safely do your transactions for Dommes, clothes, whatever and not get easily discovered.
*This is particularly useful if you have a nosy partner.
*This is easier with credit cards once you are properly registered.
*Barclaycard does a paperless account which means the statements are only online. Great way of getting round the issue.

As i said in the alst blog the whole thing sounds daunting and complicated, but if you have these three things in place for your second life then, as long as you are careful, you should be safe.

After a request from @Sissy_Rebecca (Dawn's Toy), the next blog will be a particularly tranny orientated one on what to do about body hair. This can be simple or it can be quite a vexed issue.

For advice e-mail me at trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me at @DaniTallulah

Sunday, 16 October 2011

A survival guide for double lives

The most earth shatteringly, stunning moment of horror in my brief life as a tranny/sub was at a photoshoot organised by Scarlett Thorne when i realised that one of my tranny sisters @MsEmilyAnarchy, as she is known on Twitter, and i were classmates some 18 years before. i hadn't realised previously (it's amazing what make-up fake boobs and a sexy dress can do) but it was the first moment that my vanilla (by which i mean ordinary) identity had been recognised.
 
i should say that Emily is the sweetest and most trustworthy person i could ever hope to meet along with others in Scarlett Thorne's circle, not least Mistress herself, so the shock of the realisation was only shortlived and in fact ended up being quite liberating. After all, the two of us, unbeknown to one another at the time, had grown up with the same fantasies of feminisation and serving a Domme.
 
But for the many of us trannies and subs who live double lives the threat of exposure is a constant danger and fear. Which is no doubt why i've already had several requests to do a TrannyAgony blog on this most difficult of subjects.
 
This is something i am probably as expert in as anybody although i'm not that important discovery would be a nightmare. Like many i've managed to get away with it (so far) through vigilance, but some don't.
 
Anyway here are 10 important principles to follow to escape detection along with detailed tips of things you should do.
 
1. Never be complacent
*Remember small apparently insignificant mistakes are inevitably the ones which expose the bigger lie.
*The moment you stop double and triple checking is the moment your fate is sealed.
 
2. Keep your tranny and bdsm life in different geographical places to your vanilla work and home life.

*Admitedly, this is easiest in London or big cities or if you travel for work.
*This also means to never go to places as a tranny or a sub where there is a chance that a colleague or family member will wander in.
 
3. Always give the impression of normality.
*This means have a good and consistent cover story to use and make sure that it does not unravel with a single phone call. ie Don't say "I'm in the office" and then not be in the office when your wife or partner calls. Generally it helps if you are on the move for work.
*It helps if your explanation for being away is part of your life's narrative such as work.

*Never over elaborate with your cover story.
*Also make sure when you work late nights or nights away into what would seem to be a normal part of your work life. ie away on business, at a conference etc.

*I will in a future blog give a list of ideas for cover stories. They do not have to be work related.
 
4. Get rid of any evidence of your second life.

*Make sure that you wipe all texts, e-mails, web history etc immediately after use. Just work on the spy thriller principle that this message will self destruct after you have read it (only you do the destroying) otherwise it will destroy you.

*Don't keep anything stored for sentimental reasons (a common mistake) or laziness. If it is sitting on your computer or even hidden at home it is waiting to be discovered.

5. Do not come home looking strange or different.
*This means making triple sure all make-up has been removed if you are a tranny and, in my case, don't have any marks you might have to explain in bed. i always get changed quickly into my PJs at home if i come late to make sure my bra strap marks aren't seen.
*One very useful tip is to have mini rituals you go through when change in and out of your tranny or sub gear and vanilla clothes. i always put items in the same pocket and then put them back in a particular order, almost by numbers. That way you don't forget details about your clothing and appearance.
*After one bdsm party i ended up with a badly bruised backside, which thankfully i was able to hide for a few days but had to come up with the excuse that i'd fallen on the stairs.
*The one limit i have with Mistress Scarlett Thorne (and it is a frustrating but necessary one) is no marks, which She completely respects while still abusing me wonderfully.

*But if you cannot go home with marks make this very clear to a Domme, She will respect it if She's any good.
 
 6. Do not take unnecessary risks

*This personally is my achilles heal
*There is no point gambling your life a way for one night of fun, because it might be your last time out as a tranny or a sub for quite a while.
*Remember that if you take this stuff seriously you will have plenty of time to do things and try things out. There is no rush or pressure to do things if there is a good chance of you getting caught.
*Only do things where you have properly prepared and covered yourself.


7. Do not give out unnecessary information about your vanilla life.
*Remember your identity as a tranny or a sub is totally different and your circle of friends are different in the two lives. When i'm in a dungeon or trannied up i think of myself as DaniTallulah and the only personal information i give relates to her.
*This warning is particularly true on social media (Twitter, Facebook etc). It is very easy to find out who you are from just a snippet of information.

*Don't forget absent mindedly which identity you are in - it has happened to people.

8. Value your vanilla (ordinary) life - family or/ and work
*This could easily be described as keep a sense of perspective because it is all too easy to get obsessed with you kinky life especially if you serve a charismatic Mistress. 
*If you value your vanilla life properly and try to get almost as much out of it then you will be in a better frame of mind to protect it.


9. Don't panic if something goes wrong
*Something may dramatic happen like you end up in hospital after breaking leg in high heels or some adventurous bdsm game.
*Somebody may adk you if you are such and such randomly because they half recognise you.
*Or some small bit of evidence may slip through.
*In these circumstances take a deep breath, keep a clear head and keep you answers  and denials concise, don't over elaborate.
*Never a bad idea if challenged to have a little tale about how you did something similar as a jape when you were at school or university.
*In hospital get the problem sorted asap, get out and call home later with an explanation.


10. Be very, very careful who you trust
*This is as important as anything
*First principle as a sub, particularly if you are somebody who might interest from the press, is to find a Mistress who you can fully trust.
*In a previous blog i mentioned how you must never undermine a Mistress's trust in you but that goes both ways. The one and only thing that you can fairly demand for your service and tribute is for the Domme to respect your confidentiality.
*Having said that despite the odd revelation in the press, the vast majority of Dommes are 100 per cent trustworthy and very protective of their slaves. i can certainly say this of Scarlett Thorne, who is incredibly caring and protective of Her slaves and takes enormous care on who She brings into Her close circle and who She introduces people to.
*But this general principle does not just apply to Dommes, you should also take care who you mix with and closely guard your identity until you get to know individuals very well.

*In this respect i've been lucky again by finding some good and trustworthy friends such as @PrincessTST, @MsEmilyAnarchy, @Maid_Felicity or @FSlutMST who are as good a friends as i have ever made.

All this sounds horendously complicated and frightening. But remember if you keep it simple and are constantly vigilant then you should be safe.


For advice e-mail me at trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me at @DaniTallulah

Thursday, 13 October 2011

Surviving Chastity

i've had a question from one of my fellow members of Scarlett Thorne's TrannyArmyofDoom about chastity. @FSlutMST (as you may know him on twitter) asks: "Why does Mistress impose chastity and what's the best way to deal with the frustration?"

FS has only just been put properly into chastity, so he is experiencing the early shock of what that actually means and the side effects which hit you remarkably quickly. These can be flashing pains, dizziness, an inability to concentrate or think straight and powerful urges in the groin.

But for me chastity is perhaps the greatest enigma of the whole Mistress/ slave relationship. It is at once the most frustrating and painful act of control for which a slave is desperate for a release, yet at the same time it is perhaps the most perfect symbol of a Mistress's control and ownership.

I was first put into chastity as a punishment (for injudicious tweeting), then kept in it as part of my service and spent a lot of time trying to think of ways to persuade Scarlett Thorne to allow me to have a release. Yet when i was given a chastity holiday over the summer i actually begged Mistress to put me back into it because i so badly missed the constant reminder of Her power over me which it provides.

So I'll split the questions into two.

1. Why does Mistress impose chastity?

The answer to the first part of FS's question is simple. While there is a large element of suffering and punishment that chastity inflicts on a slave, these are merely bonuses to the the primary reason a Mistress imposing it which is for control. There are few greater ways for a Domme to demonstrate Her power over somebody than being able to say if and when a slave can have any meaningful sexual satisfaction.

Scarlett Thorne often refers to chastity as "control" which pretty much sums it up. In this sense i don't think there is much difference between serving a Mistress than taking  the old monastical religious vows. The church too was trying to impose control and focus the individual's relationship and desires on being part of it. A Mistress is looking for devotion from Her slave in a very similar way and let's face it whilst it's more deviant what a sub is practising is essentially worship.

Mistress Thorne also once said to me that chastity focussed my mind in the way She wanted it to be focussed. This is true, in the sense that, in my case at least, when i'm sexually frustrated i'm permanantly sexually charged and it is hard not to think about performing tranny sexual acts and of serving Mistress herself.

2. How do you deal with the frustration?

Dealing with the frustration is a much more difficult question to answer and actually if i had a proper solution it would negate the reason for being put into chastity in the first place. But for the benefit of FS and other here are various things i've tried or been told.

a. cold showers or swimming pools.
That's how i get through my first week of chastity in Morrocco. There's nothing like a hot climate to make chastity really uncomfortable and i spent much of that holiday punching the wall and biting my nails in sheer frustration. i was saved by the hotel swimming pool and 2am showers. Unfortunately this is not an option in normal daily working life.

b. alcohol
There is nothing liking getting drunk to numb the pain and discomfort. This is a particularly good option if you like a drink. The main drawback is the liver failure that will inevitably follow the amount of alcohol needed to keep the chastity pains away. However, another unforeseen problem is that for some bizarre medical reason chastity pains are ten times worse when you have a hangover. Somebody really should do medical research into why this happens, it seems to be desperately unfair of nature.

c. devices
The people who take chastity seriously such as my Twitter friend @TonyEssentia are properly caged. For reasons of living a double life this option is impossible for me but from what i understand it helps a lot in the sense that any choice in the matter is taken away from the individual concerned. i always suspect this approach has a slightly more macho endurance test about it than actually demonstrating a Domme's control.

d. cheat
For those of us who have to be in chastity on a trust basis because we can't go around in cages the temptation to just have a sneaky release can be enormous. My view on this is that as a slave you are just cheating yourself out of the benefits of being under control and probably aren't taking the whole thing seriously enough. There is also the not insignificant point that most experienced Mistresses will know if you've cheated.

e. distraction
The simplest method is to just try and concentrate on asomething else and not think about chastity or anything that might make you aroused. Focus on work or whatever. Obviously this is far easier said than done.

f. plead, beg, do whatever it takes to get permission for a release from Mistress
While this entirely depends on the whims of somebody who by nature is entirely unpredictable, it is perhaps your best hope for relief. It is the point of the whole exercise anyway in allowing a Mistress to demonstrate Her power and ownership. So basically if you find ways to please Her or new ways to make Her inclined to allow you a release you might be able to get one within a reasonalbe period of time.
In my case Scarlett Thorne likes creative release pictures, so i've tried to be imaginative and this apparently has made Her more inclined to being merciful.
Another way is to serve Mistress in a session, but this too is not a guaranteed way of getting a release even if you perform well.

Remember, if you want advice e-mail me at trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

How do you get back in service with a Mistress after you've made Her really angry

I received my first e-mail asking for advice today from a slave who wanted help for what seems to sadly be an all too common problem - exile by a Mistress after he managed to seriously annoy Her.

This also happened to another sub friend recently who failed to show for a long session, messing up the Mistress' diary, leaving Her seriously out of pocket and mucking up chances for other subs to serve Her.

That slave got blocked, a punishment which may have been temporary had he not gone an d tweeted his angst about it on Twitter. It is difficult to come back from that and he now has the added danger of being more widely blacklisted. Mistresses may be rivals, but they are also friends and can see when a slave is showing disrespect.

The main offence of the slave who e-mailed me appears to have been a case of nerves over signing a full ownership contract, one he's greatly regretting and actually is hard to understand.

But i digress. What amounts to exile (no phone, e-mail, twitter, session or other contact) is a very difficult and distressing problem for anybody who is a sub and devoted to a particular Mistress. It is the ultimate punishment, short of blacklisting generally, for a sub to endure.

Now i have some personal experience of this, although i was lucky that i was not exiled. i made a mistake which potentially undermined Scarlett Thorne's trust in me on one occasion, at least, by not picking Her up from an airport to go to a major BDSM event.

Basically i put my own needs first and then made matters worse by being petulant about it on Twitter (damn social networking). i was extremely lucky and Mistress Thorne, in my case, was very forgiving and generous but it was a close run thing.

From that experience and from what i've observed in the Mistresses i've met, here is a 10 point plan to try to be forgiven and end the exile.


1. Remember the basic terms of a Mistress/ slave relationship - She is always right and you get what you deserve. Don't even bother to feel agrieved, if you do you're in the wrong game.
2. Don't bombard Her with texts (especially long ones). It doesn't work and in fact it just annoys Her even more.
3. As previously mentioned, don't under any circumstances moan about it on twitter or any other social network. Not only does that lead to potentially being barred for good by the Mistress concerned it also can get you blacklisted with other Mistresses.
4. Leave it about a week, then send Her a text and/ or an e-mail asking for a session and promising to do what She wants to allow you back. Would be worth apologising too.
5. Don't make the text or e-mail very long but make sure it is very polite and respectful.
6. Before that, if you are on Twitter, delete any offensive tweets and post one saying how sorry You are and how You deserve Your punishment but hope to win Her forgiveness one day.
7. If She does allow you in Her presence again make sure you bring a really nice gift. Alternatively send one to Her in the post as part of an apology. Check Her wish list and don't scrimp on the money.
8. Also if you are allowed back in Her presence do not make the same mistake or another one which undermines Her trust in you. It is unlikely She will give you a third chance.
9. Be patient, She will work on Her own timescale or even time zone.
10. Good luck, you'll need it

i hope it works for my first correspondent, but if not, sorry, the Mistress is always right.

Remember, if you want advice e-mail me at trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

How a tranny was born - the reason for writing this blog

Hi i'm DaniTallulah. This is a blog aimed at providing help, advice or even getting information for all those confused trannies and subs out there and i know from twitter that there are quite a few ;-)
But for a little bit of background and to explain why i'm writing this blog this, briefly, is the tale of how i became a tranny sub.
As far as conversions go my experience has been pretty rapid and profound, almost religious in its quality just with a different object of worship.
This time last year i was still a normal beer swigging, bloke with a beard who had just about plucked up the courage to visit a Domme to get some of my fantasies out of my system. But that all changed for good almost exactly 12 months ago (actually 7th November 2010 but who's counting the days) and a baptism in a bath filled with Mistress Scarlett Thorne's piss and spit where i was reborn as a tranny with my new name DaniTallulah.
The beard took a few more weeks to be killed off, but my transformation under Scarlett Thorne's has been much faster than i expected.
It has been a path with many highs - going out for the first time dressed up, pulling guys, winning Miss Trannyshack (still not sure how), learning how to do make up, buying feminine clothes and much more - but there have also been many falls, much uncertainty, a hell of a lot of self doubt and most of all the stress of living a double life.
i've been lucky that i had a Mistress who has also introduced me to my Tranny Army of Doom sisters and Her friends have offered me help and advice at difficult and confused times. But the advice and information out there is fairly conflictual and often reflects individuals personal experiences.
Which, coming back to the original point, is why i've decided to set up an agony blog for trannies and subs trying to make sense of it all to provide help and advice drawn from the best of what i've experienced and what has worked from what i've been told by others.
i'll also post some tof the difficulties i have and how i fail or succeed in solving them.
So if you are a sub or/ and tranny and have any doubts and problems whether they are totally bizarre or fairly ordinary, small or big e-mail me on trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me at @DaniTallulah