Monday, 16 July 2012

The tranny guide to drinking

One of the most important lessons Mistress Scarlett Thorne has drummed into me - usually with the flat of Her hand, sometimes a cane or generally whatever implement is lying around - is that the process of feminisation is as much about how you act and behave as what you wear. And this is particularly true when it comes to the old adage "you are what you eat" or for the purposes of this blog "you are what you drink".

Scarlett Thorne has very strong opinions about what Her tranny gurls should drink not only when they are out with Her and on show as such, but also in their private lives. While those of us who live double lives, for example, cannot go around in girly clothes and make-up all the time we can change other aspects of our behaviour patterns to help maintain our feminine identity. Focussing on what you drink and how you drink is an easy way to remain feminine in your vanilla world. 

Of course, a bit like chastity, there is also an important element of Mistress extending Her control into every aspect of my life which is an important part of a sub identity quite aside from the feminisation process. But Scarlett Thorne's approach is usually also an educational one so She tends to give these instructions to help improve Her slaves, and in the case of trannies make them more feminine and crucially think more like a girl.

Changing your behaviour patterns also changes the way you think and after a period of learning it becomes automatic which means your behaviour patterns are fixed.

Before i get on to what a gurl should or shouldn't drink it's also perhaps worth dealing with some of that nasty masculine behaviour that you often see women also trying to use which for an inspiring gurl is simply unacceptable!

Remember the art of drinking in a bar for a gurl is to look attractive so to begin with here are 10 DOs and DON'Ts:

DO  - Act demurely at the bar, get attention by fluttering your eyelids
DON'T - Lean forward at the bar waving cash

DO - Get a man to buy the drinks whenever possible
DON'T - Go and buy drinks for a man

DO - Use nothing bigger than a half pint size glass, preferably a wine or cocktail glass
DON'T - Use pint glasses or tankards or bottle

DO - Sip your drink sweetly or even better use a straw to avoid smudging your lipstick
DON'T - Gulp it down in one or quickly

DO - Allow small favours for the purchase of a drink ie a dance
DON'T - Take any notice of a guy who refuses to buy you a drink

DO - Hold your drink like a girl with your little finger sticking out
DON'T - Grasp your drink like your are creating a fist

DO - Sit up straight with your chest out when drinking
DON'T - Slouch with hunched shoulders

DO - Keep lipstick and cotton buds handy to sort out smudges from drinking
DON'T - Forget these items if you want to remain pretty

DO - Gossip, flirt, have girly chat while having a drink
DON'T - Make loud jokes or discuss football or any other sport

DO - Say: "OH! I like this it's pink and sparkly"
DON'T - Say: "Well this is an excellent wine because it comes from the...." (yawn! male bore)

So now we know how gurls should drink it's time to look at what beverages (including the word beverage) they should avoid. Here are my top 5 inappropriate drinks:

1. Beer - The ultimate man's drink, completely unfeminine and unacceptable except of the light variety such as Corona which comes with fruit. Particualrly AVOID real ales!

2. Whisky - Even worse than beer. Whisky is the male bore's favourite tipple. Those who drink it will numb your mind for hours on different types and peats (YAWN!). Not for a gurl!

3. Red wine - Is very masculine and usually the type of drink chosen by men who think they know something about alcohol.

4. Cider - Is like beer for men who want to get drunk even more quickly. Just generally avoid things that need to be drunk from big glasses or bottles.

5. Rum - This is ok if it is part of a cocktail but in no other circumstances. It is also a vile drink.

But just in case you think i'm ruining all your fun, these five drinks are definitely appropriate for any girl heading for good night out:

1. Vodka and mixer - This is the staple night out drink of any self respecting girl. Preferably vodka and lemonade but coke or maybe red bull will do. It is essentially a soft drink with an alcoholic kick. Light and sparkly and perfect to get you in the mood for dancing or more interesting fun. REMEMBER always have diet or zero sugar lemonade or coke to keep your figure trim.

2. White wine - People who think they know about wine sneer at white wine, which is why it is ideal. Often at tedious functions you only have a choice of red or white wine. You should know nothing about wine but white wine is easy to drink and gives a proper girly image. Rose is ok but ideally when it is sparkly. Pink champagne is a treat.

3. Cocktails - Preferably bought for you by a guy. Ideally it should be creamy or bought for its colour. Never buy it for a funny name let the guy get worked up about blowjobs and sex on the beach...if he buys you enough cocktails he might just get one of those!

4. Gin and tonic - If you really have to look sophisticated then G&T is acceptable.

5. Cum - Well a gurl should always hope to pull and you don't know how the night will end up. But, as a whore, my advice is only swallow if he pays extra.

Those who know me well will be asking: "What about Scarlettpisstini?" Of course, Scarlett Thorne's drink in watersports is the nectar of the Goddess as i'm sure slaves feel is true of their Mistress's champagne too. It's just i'm not sure a Mistress would be too impressed if you asked Her for it if you were lucky enough to be with Her in a bar although i guess if She wanted a companion to the toilet You might get lucky...

By the way anybody with suggestions on appropriate or inappropriate drinks please put them in the comments section below.

Anybody wanting advice on being a tranny or a sub email me on or tweet me on @DaniTallulah.