Wednesday 12 October 2011

How do you get back in service with a Mistress after you've made Her really angry

I received my first e-mail asking for advice today from a slave who wanted help for what seems to sadly be an all too common problem - exile by a Mistress after he managed to seriously annoy Her.

This also happened to another sub friend recently who failed to show for a long session, messing up the Mistress' diary, leaving Her seriously out of pocket and mucking up chances for other subs to serve Her.

That slave got blocked, a punishment which may have been temporary had he not gone an d tweeted his angst about it on Twitter. It is difficult to come back from that and he now has the added danger of being more widely blacklisted. Mistresses may be rivals, but they are also friends and can see when a slave is showing disrespect.

The main offence of the slave who e-mailed me appears to have been a case of nerves over signing a full ownership contract, one he's greatly regretting and actually is hard to understand.

But i digress. What amounts to exile (no phone, e-mail, twitter, session or other contact) is a very difficult and distressing problem for anybody who is a sub and devoted to a particular Mistress. It is the ultimate punishment, short of blacklisting generally, for a sub to endure.

Now i have some personal experience of this, although i was lucky that i was not exiled. i made a mistake which potentially undermined Scarlett Thorne's trust in me on one occasion, at least, by not picking Her up from an airport to go to a major BDSM event.

Basically i put my own needs first and then made matters worse by being petulant about it on Twitter (damn social networking). i was extremely lucky and Mistress Thorne, in my case, was very forgiving and generous but it was a close run thing.

From that experience and from what i've observed in the Mistresses i've met, here is a 10 point plan to try to be forgiven and end the exile.


1. Remember the basic terms of a Mistress/ slave relationship - She is always right and you get what you deserve. Don't even bother to feel agrieved, if you do you're in the wrong game.
2. Don't bombard Her with texts (especially long ones). It doesn't work and in fact it just annoys Her even more.
3. As previously mentioned, don't under any circumstances moan about it on twitter or any other social network. Not only does that lead to potentially being barred for good by the Mistress concerned it also can get you blacklisted with other Mistresses.
4. Leave it about a week, then send Her a text and/ or an e-mail asking for a session and promising to do what She wants to allow you back. Would be worth apologising too.
5. Don't make the text or e-mail very long but make sure it is very polite and respectful.
6. Before that, if you are on Twitter, delete any offensive tweets and post one saying how sorry You are and how You deserve Your punishment but hope to win Her forgiveness one day.
7. If She does allow you in Her presence again make sure you bring a really nice gift. Alternatively send one to Her in the post as part of an apology. Check Her wish list and don't scrimp on the money.
8. Also if you are allowed back in Her presence do not make the same mistake or another one which undermines Her trust in you. It is unlikely She will give you a third chance.
9. Be patient, She will work on Her own timescale or even time zone.
10. Good luck, you'll need it

i hope it works for my first correspondent, but if not, sorry, the Mistress is always right.

Remember, if you want advice e-mail me at trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah

1 comment:

Princess said...

I definitely think it is worth remembering that Mistress's needs come first, and that your problems are not Hers. An apology from Mistress is extremely unlikely :)
Easy to say, but can be hard to remember while feeling aggrieved...

Princess x