The most earth shatteringly, stunning moment of horror in my brief life as a tranny/sub was at a photoshoot organised by Scarlett Thorne when i realised that one of my tranny sisters @MsEmilyAnarchy, as she is known on Twitter, and i were classmates some 18 years before. i hadn't realised previously (it's amazing what make-up fake boobs and a sexy dress can do) but it was the first moment that my vanilla (by which i mean ordinary) identity had been recognised.
i should say that Emily is the sweetest and most trustworthy person i could ever hope to meet along with others in Scarlett Thorne's circle, not least Mistress herself, so the shock of the realisation was only shortlived and in fact ended up being quite liberating. After all, the two of us, unbeknown to one another at the time, had grown up with the same fantasies of feminisation and serving a Domme.
But for the many of us trannies and subs who live double lives the threat of exposure is a constant danger and fear. Which is no doubt why i've already had several requests to do a TrannyAgony blog on this most difficult of subjects.
This is something i am probably as expert in as anybody although i'm not that important discovery would be a nightmare. Like many i've managed to get away with it (so far) through vigilance, but some don't.
Anyway here are 10 important principles to follow to escape detection along with detailed tips of things you should do.
1. Never be complacent
*Remember small apparently insignificant mistakes are inevitably the ones which expose the bigger lie.
*The moment you stop double and triple checking is the moment your fate is sealed.
2. Keep your tranny and bdsm life in different geographical places to your vanilla work and home life.
*Admitedly, this is easiest in London or big cities or if you travel for work.
*This also means to never go to places as a tranny or a sub where there is a chance that a colleague or family member will wander in.
3. Always give the impression of normality.
*This means have a good and consistent cover story to use and make sure that it does not unravel with a single phone call. ie Don't say "I'm in the office" and then not be in the office when your wife or partner calls. Generally it helps if you are on the move for work.
*It helps if your explanation for being away is part of your life's narrative such as work.
*Never over elaborate with your cover story.
*Also make sure when you work late nights or nights away into what would seem to be a normal part of your work life. ie away on business, at a conference etc.
*I will in a future blog give a list of ideas for cover stories. They do not have to be work related.
4. Get rid of any evidence of your second life.
*Make sure that you wipe all texts, e-mails, web history etc immediately after use. Just work on the spy thriller principle that this message will self destruct after you have read it (only you do the destroying) otherwise it will destroy you.
*Don't keep anything stored for sentimental reasons (a common mistake) or laziness. If it is sitting on your computer or even hidden at home it is waiting to be discovered.
5. Do not come home looking strange or different.
*This means making triple sure all make-up has been removed if you are a tranny and, in my case, don't have any marks you might have to explain in bed. i always get changed quickly into my PJs at home if i come late to make sure my bra strap marks aren't seen.
*One very useful tip is to have mini rituals you go through when change in and out of your tranny or sub gear and vanilla clothes. i always put items in the same pocket and then put them back in a particular order, almost by numbers. That way you don't forget details about your clothing and appearance.
*After one bdsm party i ended up with a badly bruised backside, which thankfully i was able to hide for a few days but had to come up with the excuse that i'd fallen on the stairs.
*The one limit i have with Mistress Scarlett Thorne (and it is a frustrating but necessary one) is no marks, which She completely respects while still abusing me wonderfully.
*But if you cannot go home with marks make this very clear to a Domme, She will respect it if She's any good.
6. Do not take unnecessary risks
*This personally is my achilles heal
*There is no point gambling your life a way for one night of fun, because it might be your last time out as a tranny or a sub for quite a while.
*Remember that if you take this stuff seriously you will have plenty of time to do things and try things out. There is no rush or pressure to do things if there is a good chance of you getting caught.
*Only do things where you have properly prepared and covered yourself.
7. Do not give out unnecessary information about your vanilla life.
*Remember your identity as a tranny or a sub is totally different and your circle of friends are different in the two lives. When i'm in a dungeon or trannied up i think of myself as DaniTallulah and the only personal information i give relates to her.
*This warning is particularly true on social media (Twitter, Facebook etc). It is very easy to find out who you are from just a snippet of information.
*Don't forget absent mindedly which identity you are in - it has happened to people.
8. Value your vanilla (ordinary) life - family or/ and work
*This could easily be described as keep a sense of perspective because it is all too easy to get obsessed with you kinky life especially if you serve a charismatic Mistress.
*If you value your vanilla life properly and try to get almost as much out of it then you will be in a better frame of mind to protect it.
9. Don't panic if something goes wrong
*Something may dramatic happen like you end up in hospital after breaking leg in high heels or some adventurous bdsm game.
*Somebody may adk you if you are such and such randomly because they half recognise you.
*Or some small bit of evidence may slip through.
*In these circumstances take a deep breath, keep a clear head and keep you answers and denials concise, don't over elaborate.
*Never a bad idea if challenged to have a little tale about how you did something similar as a jape when you were at school or university.
*In hospital get the problem sorted asap, get out and call home later with an explanation.
10. Be very, very careful who you trust
*This is as important as anything
*First principle as a sub, particularly if you are somebody who might interest from the press, is to find a Mistress who you can fully trust.
*In a previous blog i mentioned how you must never undermine a Mistress's trust in you but that goes both ways. The one and only thing that you can fairly demand for your service and tribute is for the Domme to respect your confidentiality.
*Having said that despite the odd revelation in the press, the vast majority of Dommes are 100 per cent trustworthy and very protective of their slaves. i can certainly say this of Scarlett Thorne, who is incredibly caring and protective of Her slaves and takes enormous care on who She brings into Her close circle and who She introduces people to.
*But this general principle does not just apply to Dommes, you should also take care who you mix with and closely guard your identity until you get to know individuals very well.
*In this respect i've been lucky again by finding some good and trustworthy friends such as @PrincessTST, @MsEmilyAnarchy, @Maid_Felicity or @FSlutMST who are as good a friends as i have ever made.
All this sounds horendously complicated and frightening. But remember if you keep it simple and are constantly vigilant then you should be safe.
For advice e-mail me at trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me at @DaniTallulah
i should say that Emily is the sweetest and most trustworthy person i could ever hope to meet along with others in Scarlett Thorne's circle, not least Mistress herself, so the shock of the realisation was only shortlived and in fact ended up being quite liberating. After all, the two of us, unbeknown to one another at the time, had grown up with the same fantasies of feminisation and serving a Domme.
But for the many of us trannies and subs who live double lives the threat of exposure is a constant danger and fear. Which is no doubt why i've already had several requests to do a TrannyAgony blog on this most difficult of subjects.
This is something i am probably as expert in as anybody although i'm not that important discovery would be a nightmare. Like many i've managed to get away with it (so far) through vigilance, but some don't.
Anyway here are 10 important principles to follow to escape detection along with detailed tips of things you should do.
1. Never be complacent
*Remember small apparently insignificant mistakes are inevitably the ones which expose the bigger lie.
*The moment you stop double and triple checking is the moment your fate is sealed.
2. Keep your tranny and bdsm life in different geographical places to your vanilla work and home life.
*Admitedly, this is easiest in London or big cities or if you travel for work.
*This also means to never go to places as a tranny or a sub where there is a chance that a colleague or family member will wander in.
3. Always give the impression of normality.
*This means have a good and consistent cover story to use and make sure that it does not unravel with a single phone call. ie Don't say "I'm in the office" and then not be in the office when your wife or partner calls. Generally it helps if you are on the move for work.
*It helps if your explanation for being away is part of your life's narrative such as work.
*Never over elaborate with your cover story.
*Also make sure when you work late nights or nights away into what would seem to be a normal part of your work life. ie away on business, at a conference etc.
*I will in a future blog give a list of ideas for cover stories. They do not have to be work related.
4. Get rid of any evidence of your second life.
*Make sure that you wipe all texts, e-mails, web history etc immediately after use. Just work on the spy thriller principle that this message will self destruct after you have read it (only you do the destroying) otherwise it will destroy you.
*Don't keep anything stored for sentimental reasons (a common mistake) or laziness. If it is sitting on your computer or even hidden at home it is waiting to be discovered.
5. Do not come home looking strange or different.
*This means making triple sure all make-up has been removed if you are a tranny and, in my case, don't have any marks you might have to explain in bed. i always get changed quickly into my PJs at home if i come late to make sure my bra strap marks aren't seen.
*One very useful tip is to have mini rituals you go through when change in and out of your tranny or sub gear and vanilla clothes. i always put items in the same pocket and then put them back in a particular order, almost by numbers. That way you don't forget details about your clothing and appearance.
*After one bdsm party i ended up with a badly bruised backside, which thankfully i was able to hide for a few days but had to come up with the excuse that i'd fallen on the stairs.
*The one limit i have with Mistress Scarlett Thorne (and it is a frustrating but necessary one) is no marks, which She completely respects while still abusing me wonderfully.
*But if you cannot go home with marks make this very clear to a Domme, She will respect it if She's any good.
6. Do not take unnecessary risks
*This personally is my achilles heal
*There is no point gambling your life a way for one night of fun, because it might be your last time out as a tranny or a sub for quite a while.
*Remember that if you take this stuff seriously you will have plenty of time to do things and try things out. There is no rush or pressure to do things if there is a good chance of you getting caught.
*Only do things where you have properly prepared and covered yourself.
7. Do not give out unnecessary information about your vanilla life.
*Remember your identity as a tranny or a sub is totally different and your circle of friends are different in the two lives. When i'm in a dungeon or trannied up i think of myself as DaniTallulah and the only personal information i give relates to her.
*This warning is particularly true on social media (Twitter, Facebook etc). It is very easy to find out who you are from just a snippet of information.
*Don't forget absent mindedly which identity you are in - it has happened to people.
8. Value your vanilla (ordinary) life - family or/ and work
*This could easily be described as keep a sense of perspective because it is all too easy to get obsessed with you kinky life especially if you serve a charismatic Mistress.
*If you value your vanilla life properly and try to get almost as much out of it then you will be in a better frame of mind to protect it.
9. Don't panic if something goes wrong
*Something may dramatic happen like you end up in hospital after breaking leg in high heels or some adventurous bdsm game.
*Somebody may adk you if you are such and such randomly because they half recognise you.
*Or some small bit of evidence may slip through.
*In these circumstances take a deep breath, keep a clear head and keep you answers and denials concise, don't over elaborate.
*Never a bad idea if challenged to have a little tale about how you did something similar as a jape when you were at school or university.
*In hospital get the problem sorted asap, get out and call home later with an explanation.
10. Be very, very careful who you trust
*This is as important as anything
*First principle as a sub, particularly if you are somebody who might interest from the press, is to find a Mistress who you can fully trust.
*In a previous blog i mentioned how you must never undermine a Mistress's trust in you but that goes both ways. The one and only thing that you can fairly demand for your service and tribute is for the Domme to respect your confidentiality.
*Having said that despite the odd revelation in the press, the vast majority of Dommes are 100 per cent trustworthy and very protective of their slaves. i can certainly say this of Scarlett Thorne, who is incredibly caring and protective of Her slaves and takes enormous care on who She brings into Her close circle and who She introduces people to.
*But this general principle does not just apply to Dommes, you should also take care who you mix with and closely guard your identity until you get to know individuals very well.
*In this respect i've been lucky again by finding some good and trustworthy friends such as @PrincessTST, @MsEmilyAnarchy, @Maid_Felicity or @FSlutMST who are as good a friends as i have ever made.
All this sounds horendously complicated and frightening. But remember if you keep it simple and are constantly vigilant then you should be safe.
For advice e-mail me at trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me at @DaniTallulah
2 comments:
Some other thoughts, mainly computer related:
Keep all aspects of your life separate. Don't use your work or personal email, get a free Gmail or live account.
If you do have some documents or pictures you want to keep, store them online somewhere safe.
Do Not under any circumstances save your email address or password on your home PC.
Ideally use separate log ins for you and other people at home, or if not possible always use the browsers privacy or incognito mode.
Sometimes you might get a text from your Mistress or somebody else that you really like. Don't keep it on your phone.
Some phones such as Android or iPhone devices will let you install different text packages. One, called GoSMS pro has a nice option that lets you mark a number as private which automatically encrypts it, stores it safely and then removes it from your messages list. You then access it from a pin locked folder. This stops casual viewing problems.
If you have a friend you can 100% trust, they can be useful as an excuse. I have somebody that knows when asked if I slept on his couch, the answer is always yes :)
One other thought:
Try to make excuses/reasons/alibis plausible and consistent with normal life. Ideally half the time you use a given excuse it should be true.
If you rarely drink, saying you are out partying *again* is going to be suspicious :)
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