Picture the following scenario:
Phone rings, it is a Would-be slave calling a Mistress he would like to serve (we'll skip the introductory remarks).
Mistress: "What are your interests?"
Would-be slave (usually nervously): "i'd like to be a sissy maid, get dressed up by You and do chores."
Mistress: "Oh yes, I like to do that sort of thing, when can you come?"
Would-be slave (breaths sigh of relief): "Er...is...is... Thursday at s...s...seven OK, Mistress?"
Mistress (pauses, looks in diary): "I can do that time. Now My tribute is £200 an hour."
Would-be slave (gulps) : "Er...well i don't actually have any er...money, i...i... was wondering if i...er... could just s...s...serve You."
The Mistress' response to this ranges from hanging up to a polite "sorry I always demand tribute" to something a good deal less polite. The result is the same the would-be slave remains would-be.
The moral of this tale, which happens quite a lot, is that Dommes are not charities who provide free services to desperate would-be slaves. Domme-ing itself is an expensive activity for a Mistress in terms of buying dungeon equipment and other materials like clothes, make-up, condoms and poppers etc as well as paying the rents on places for dungeons. That is before a Mistress then factors in Her own living costs.
All but a tiny minority of Mistresses do it for a living even if it is their lifestyle choice as well and there are many, many of would-be slaves out there willing to pay good cash to do the most menial tasks for them. Putting it in house-buying language it is a seller's market not a buyers one - the sellers being the Dommes and the buyers being the slaves.
So perhaps not surprisingly, given that it is not easy, i have been asked many times how it is possible to end up in a lifestyle arrangement partly because i am extremely lucky to have one with the fabulous Mistress Scarlett Thorne, where i serve Her almost daily mainly has Her maid, sometimes Her confidente and on occasions helping Her in sessions.
The answer is that in reality it is much, much harder to end up in a lifestyle arrangement than it is to be thrown out of one as a slave.
i know of at least two Mistresses who in the last 12 months have sacked Their lifestyle slaves because They were unhappy about some aspect of the slaves' lives outside service or commitment to Them. In that sense i am also lucky that i serve a Mistress who is very accommodating of my other life and shows a great deal of patience, but the nature of lifestyle arrangements will be the subject of another post.
As i see it there are several routes to becoming a lifestyle slave.
Every so often, but this is extremely rare, a Mistress will advertise for one to do the domestic duties and menial tasks for Her so she can concentrate on important things. i have heard of interviews taking place, but this is more for slaves with a lot of time on their hands and few other personal commitments or specific skills or tasks like gardeners or drivers.
There is also love through the fetish scene. i know of cases of Dommes and subs getting together properly and even marrying, although i also know that some of these relationships that have broken down horribly. There was one case i know of where the police were even called in.
Then there are the odd cases of subs who are virtually part of the BDSM scene full time and are well known enough for Mistresses to ask them to come and serve. This includes my dear friend @maid_felicity, who is extremely popular among Mistresses across the UK but is still waiting to get collared - the term used to confirm a lifestyle relationship which is often accompanied by a collar being put on a slave by a Mistress.
Generally a Mistress is more likely to go for a slave She knows and trusts. One Mistress i know of actually keeps a chart of time served which allows them greater access as long as they have shown they deserve Her trust. She won't go away with slaves or let them too close unless they have served requisite numbers of weeks, months and years. But even this will not lead to a lifestyle type arrangement.
The main route - particularly for those of us who live double lives - involves a great deal of luck and hard work, my story is typical of that.
Basically, you meet a Mistress by seeing Her for paid sessions and then almost by chance, or by Her whim certainly not yours, She decides to let You a bit more into Her life. Over time you earn Her trust more by being willing to do jobs for Her and eventually after months maybe years you end up serving Her more and more in your daily life.
In some ways i got there quite quickly but even in the year and a bit since i first sessioned with Scarlett Thorne i didn't realise that i had effectively moved into a lifestyle arrangement until She pointed it out because the changes happened in small steps and gradually. So i actually feel like i got to the point by accident, although i am delighted i have.
In that sense it is not dissimilar to a friendship - except it is a Mistress/ slave relationship (although it can be a form of friendship too as it is with Scarlett Thorne and me) - in that it grows naturally over time and has results of bringing the two of Y/you closer together through mutual trust.
i was actually very fortunate that i got baptised in Her piss quite early in my service to Scarlett Thorne because She liked me for some reason i haven't fatrhomed and i was given a collar on my first anniversary as Her tranny sub to cement that relationship.
But there is an important ingredient to it that is essential and that is you need to prove to the Mistress that you are willing to work really hard and accept that the reward is the service itself and the chance to be in Her presence a lot. For the slave it is primarily a lifestyle focussed on devotion not pleasure or even fantasy.
In my case i am actually allowed keys to @TrannyFlat, but this is only so i can let myself in to clean the place up when Mistress is away. When i am there Scarlett Thorne always gives me a long list of tasks such as making the bed, doing the washing up, dusting, cleaning the bathroom, hoovering, scrubbing the floors, polishing the mirrors, washing the clothes, hanging washing up or puitting it away, sorting out boxes, making endless cups of coffee, serving drinks...well you get the drift.
i spend a lot of time on my knees not for any 'play' reasons but to get the chores done properly. i also have secretarial duties and act as an alarm clock many mornings for Mistress.
Damn! She works me hard. i'm sometimes literally running around the apartment trying to keep up with Her demands and i've got a long list of things which still need to be done.
Apart from the fact i can dress as a girl (and sometimes give people a blowjob), it is not exactly glamorous. i'm not complaining because i love serving Scarlett Thorne and it means i get to spend hours with Her. i actually even like the chores.
But to underline the message Mistress Thorne on occasions will say: "Work hard or go!"
There are of course rewards. At the moment it means i get far more time with Mistress than most or perhaps all of Her other slaves, even though there are others She has in Her inner circle. She sometimes gives me things like a dress to say 'thank you'.
Then there is always the odd bit of what some might call 'play' but is more of a serious motivational part of the lifestyle when Mistress uses things like a butt plug or electrics on me or just gives me a good beating. i gather the next 'motivational method' will be nipple clamps.
But the hard work sums up the whole point of a lifestyle arrangement. It is not for fun it is to allow Mistress to have time to get on with Her more important tasks or just relax while the menial time consuming tasks are done by a slave.
i will soon post a blog on what is meant by a lifestyle arrangement because i think there are some misconceptions about this and of course it means different things to different Mistresses.
If you are a tranny or a sub seeking advice on any issues that concern you then contact me on trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah.
Phone rings, it is a Would-be slave calling a Mistress he would like to serve (we'll skip the introductory remarks).
Mistress: "What are your interests?"
Would-be slave (usually nervously): "i'd like to be a sissy maid, get dressed up by You and do chores."
Mistress: "Oh yes, I like to do that sort of thing, when can you come?"
Would-be slave (breaths sigh of relief): "Er...is...is... Thursday at s...s...seven OK, Mistress?"
Mistress (pauses, looks in diary): "I can do that time. Now My tribute is £200 an hour."
Would-be slave (gulps) : "Er...well i don't actually have any er...money, i...i... was wondering if i...er... could just s...s...serve You."
The Mistress' response to this ranges from hanging up to a polite "sorry I always demand tribute" to something a good deal less polite. The result is the same the would-be slave remains would-be.
The moral of this tale, which happens quite a lot, is that Dommes are not charities who provide free services to desperate would-be slaves. Domme-ing itself is an expensive activity for a Mistress in terms of buying dungeon equipment and other materials like clothes, make-up, condoms and poppers etc as well as paying the rents on places for dungeons. That is before a Mistress then factors in Her own living costs.
All but a tiny minority of Mistresses do it for a living even if it is their lifestyle choice as well and there are many, many of would-be slaves out there willing to pay good cash to do the most menial tasks for them. Putting it in house-buying language it is a seller's market not a buyers one - the sellers being the Dommes and the buyers being the slaves.
So perhaps not surprisingly, given that it is not easy, i have been asked many times how it is possible to end up in a lifestyle arrangement partly because i am extremely lucky to have one with the fabulous Mistress Scarlett Thorne, where i serve Her almost daily mainly has Her maid, sometimes Her confidente and on occasions helping Her in sessions.
The answer is that in reality it is much, much harder to end up in a lifestyle arrangement than it is to be thrown out of one as a slave.
i know of at least two Mistresses who in the last 12 months have sacked Their lifestyle slaves because They were unhappy about some aspect of the slaves' lives outside service or commitment to Them. In that sense i am also lucky that i serve a Mistress who is very accommodating of my other life and shows a great deal of patience, but the nature of lifestyle arrangements will be the subject of another post.
As i see it there are several routes to becoming a lifestyle slave.
Every so often, but this is extremely rare, a Mistress will advertise for one to do the domestic duties and menial tasks for Her so she can concentrate on important things. i have heard of interviews taking place, but this is more for slaves with a lot of time on their hands and few other personal commitments or specific skills or tasks like gardeners or drivers.
There is also love through the fetish scene. i know of cases of Dommes and subs getting together properly and even marrying, although i also know that some of these relationships that have broken down horribly. There was one case i know of where the police were even called in.
Then there are the odd cases of subs who are virtually part of the BDSM scene full time and are well known enough for Mistresses to ask them to come and serve. This includes my dear friend @maid_felicity, who is extremely popular among Mistresses across the UK but is still waiting to get collared - the term used to confirm a lifestyle relationship which is often accompanied by a collar being put on a slave by a Mistress.
Generally a Mistress is more likely to go for a slave She knows and trusts. One Mistress i know of actually keeps a chart of time served which allows them greater access as long as they have shown they deserve Her trust. She won't go away with slaves or let them too close unless they have served requisite numbers of weeks, months and years. But even this will not lead to a lifestyle type arrangement.
The main route - particularly for those of us who live double lives - involves a great deal of luck and hard work, my story is typical of that.
Basically, you meet a Mistress by seeing Her for paid sessions and then almost by chance, or by Her whim certainly not yours, She decides to let You a bit more into Her life. Over time you earn Her trust more by being willing to do jobs for Her and eventually after months maybe years you end up serving Her more and more in your daily life.
In some ways i got there quite quickly but even in the year and a bit since i first sessioned with Scarlett Thorne i didn't realise that i had effectively moved into a lifestyle arrangement until She pointed it out because the changes happened in small steps and gradually. So i actually feel like i got to the point by accident, although i am delighted i have.
In that sense it is not dissimilar to a friendship - except it is a Mistress/ slave relationship (although it can be a form of friendship too as it is with Scarlett Thorne and me) - in that it grows naturally over time and has results of bringing the two of Y/you closer together through mutual trust.
i was actually very fortunate that i got baptised in Her piss quite early in my service to Scarlett Thorne because She liked me for some reason i haven't fatrhomed and i was given a collar on my first anniversary as Her tranny sub to cement that relationship.
But there is an important ingredient to it that is essential and that is you need to prove to the Mistress that you are willing to work really hard and accept that the reward is the service itself and the chance to be in Her presence a lot. For the slave it is primarily a lifestyle focussed on devotion not pleasure or even fantasy.
In my case i am actually allowed keys to @TrannyFlat, but this is only so i can let myself in to clean the place up when Mistress is away. When i am there Scarlett Thorne always gives me a long list of tasks such as making the bed, doing the washing up, dusting, cleaning the bathroom, hoovering, scrubbing the floors, polishing the mirrors, washing the clothes, hanging washing up or puitting it away, sorting out boxes, making endless cups of coffee, serving drinks...well you get the drift.
i spend a lot of time on my knees not for any 'play' reasons but to get the chores done properly. i also have secretarial duties and act as an alarm clock many mornings for Mistress.
Damn! She works me hard. i'm sometimes literally running around the apartment trying to keep up with Her demands and i've got a long list of things which still need to be done.
Apart from the fact i can dress as a girl (and sometimes give people a blowjob), it is not exactly glamorous. i'm not complaining because i love serving Scarlett Thorne and it means i get to spend hours with Her. i actually even like the chores.
But to underline the message Mistress Thorne on occasions will say: "Work hard or go!"
There are of course rewards. At the moment it means i get far more time with Mistress than most or perhaps all of Her other slaves, even though there are others She has in Her inner circle. She sometimes gives me things like a dress to say 'thank you'.
Then there is always the odd bit of what some might call 'play' but is more of a serious motivational part of the lifestyle when Mistress uses things like a butt plug or electrics on me or just gives me a good beating. i gather the next 'motivational method' will be nipple clamps.
But the hard work sums up the whole point of a lifestyle arrangement. It is not for fun it is to allow Mistress to have time to get on with Her more important tasks or just relax while the menial time consuming tasks are done by a slave.
i will soon post a blog on what is meant by a lifestyle arrangement because i think there are some misconceptions about this and of course it means different things to different Mistresses.
If you are a tranny or a sub seeking advice on any issues that concern you then contact me on trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah.
2 comments:
A fantastic blog post dani - highly accurate though I should add that you serve Me nearly every day! It is not a once a week arrangement, that is a key element to how W/we have developed. Often you will serve Me in the morning cleaning and then again in the evening - usually cleaning as well. True servitude is not about 'play' (though I hate that description of BDSM - it's not a game to some of U/us) - true servitude is about one person dedicating their life to the Other. Not just about butt plugs, strap-ons and a caning.
Thank you dani for writing such a great blog - you truly are My top bitch.
Mistress Scarlett Thorne XXX
Wonderful as always Dani. Even more enlighteningthsan usual, covering things that some don't consider. You ar ean absolute credit to Mistress Scarlett Thorne. And I am glad to call you my friend x
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