Friday, 10 February 2012

A survival guide for double lives (5) - How to lie and avoid being caught out by your body language

One of my closest tranny friends @PrincessTST suggested this post a while back so i have been doing a little bit of research into it. @PrincessTST, like me, knows only too well that to survive over a sustained period leading a double life you need to be convincing and most of all you need to be able to lie very well eve when put under interigatio by a suspicious partner, which i often am.

In previous posts i have dealt with possible cover stories and how well you need to be prepare them and the sort of detail you need to go to make sure you are safe. But you also need to be ready for surprise challenges, essentially always on your guard.

For example the other day i came in home late after work (yes, genuinely work ot serving Mistress), which happens a lot n my line of business and also provides good cover. But as i was taking off my coat my partner asked: "So who is your Mistress?"

To say my blood froze would be an understatement for the Siberian sensation that gripped my heart for a moment and fortunately my back was turned. She then said: "I keep thinking you are having an affair."

At that point i relaxed. As i am not having a affair i could go into lausible deniability mode and just talk about work, which bores her anyway. The reference to Mistress though, even with its double meaning, had slightly unnerved me because obviously i may not be having an affair but i am having an equally intense but different experience in service to Scarlett Thorne.

That little episode got me thinking again about how to lie in not letting yourself getting caught out and i think the crucial thing here is body language.

So i did some research of various signs that interigators in the police and security organisations look for and found out classic things people do when they lie, which means any of us having a secret other life should avoid doing them like the plague.

1. Don't hesitate emotionally
Delayed emotions are a classic sign somebody is lying apparently. So if you are accused it is best to either laugh straight away, because that's an easy one, or look offended. It will give you a moment to think your next move too.

2. Don't overdo or underdo your emotions
A short reaction is all that is required. Hamming your emotions or going on too long is another give away. React, then look serious. However, make sure that your whole face (eyes, jaw, cheeks and mouth) expresses the emotion, because a partial expression is also a giveaway.

3. Do not be defensive
Acording to police interrigation manuals, a liar will take a defensive attitude, while an honest person will go on the attack.
I can't believe you would accuse me of that, it's not as if you don't work late! - Good
How can you think I'd do that? - Bad

4. Avoid putting objects between you and your accuser
According to experts, putting objects between you and your accuser is a classic sign of lying. it is the mind looking for defence because it knows you are in trouble.

5. Do not let the subject drop
If your accuser changes the subject quickly this can be a trick to see if you look relieved. Maintain your anger for a short while and bring the subject back, thst's a pretty strong sign of innocence.

6. Face your accuser and make eye contact
Do not turn away or hide your face. It's a sure sign of guilt. look the other person in the ye. It takes some nerve but is the best way to defend yourself.

7. Remain natural in your movements
A liar is apparetly concetrating on his or her words so much that he or she becomes rigid and hardly moves. So try to move naturally. i must admit i have a problem with this area because my hands shake, but i can always put this down to my asthma which ofte causes me to shake. This is a particularly tough trick.

8. Control your hands and legs
Keep yourself open, do not cross your legs or arms and do not let your hands wander to your face. The latter is a big problem for me because i do it as a nervous habit whether i'm lying or not. But closed body language is a sign of a liar, so avoid it.

9. Do not parrot words or use long phrases
A liar will ofte repeat what the accuser has said in the answer. So in answer to do you have a Mistress?
No! - good
No I do not have a Mistress - bad

10. Do not change the subject
If you are in the middle of the argument it is bettr to be direct and keep it simple. Going off at a taget or trying to change the subject is a sure sign of guilt.

11. Do not be monotone
If your words have emphasis ad are not a monotone it sounds ore genuine and less like you are concentrating on maintaining a lie.

12. Keep it simple
Stick to your story and do not use elaborate words. Use words you would normally use, overly sophisticated phrases are also a giveaway.

13. Be careful with sarcasm
This is a sig of lying, but can still work in small doses if it is normal for you to use it in conversation or arguments generally.

Of course there are things which hard to hide, like my shaking hands or going extremely pale or your heart suddenly accelerating. In these cases just take deep breaths or run to the toilet and at least make it sound as though you are having a pee. It will give you a chance to rub some colour in your face even if it looks suspicious.

If you need help and advice as a tranny or a sub email trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah.


3 comments:

Dawnstoy said...

another wonderful blog hun. You really are brains and beauty xx

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Princess said...

A couple extra thoughts:

Don't leave it until the last second to think about reasonable responses. You should always have an idea of the things you want to say far in advance of actually needing them. Unless you are lucky enough to have the quick wittedness and fast responses of a comedian or politician it's worth giving yourself a headstart :)

Some good questions that would be good to have answers to:
Where were you this evening/last night/whenever?
What is this mark on your clothes? (paint or spilled drinks are good answers)
Why do you smell of booze/perfume? (spilled drink again, somebody putting on perfume next to you)
Why are you wearing make-up? (It happens...)