How a slave can survive Christmas

As many of you may be aware i am something of a shopaholic...it is pretty difficult for me to walk by a shop with pretty dresses in the window without being sucked into it to explore its delights, much to Mistress Scarlett Thorne's exasperation. Heyho!

But even i have to admit in my tiny little tranny brain that Christmas has become far too commercial and the true spirit of the festival is being lost. Now i know some of you are of a religious bent and others maybe not but i think that serving a fabulous Dominatrix like London Mistress Scarlett Thorne is of huge help in getting back to what Christmas should be about.

Think of the three magi in St Matthew's Gospel or the shepherds in St Luke. They all traveled to worship a Higher Being and give gifts as best to their ability. This is why the three magi are known as "the wise men" because wisdom is knowing what MUST be done.

If there is one thing a slave should remember is that his (or sometimes her) life is insignificant and that Mistress is always a Higher Being, you should think of Her as a Goddess. So Christmas is a time when you can show your true devotion by coming to Worship Her and bring gifts to please Her (on top of the tribute You should give Her as well). There is no more beautiful and joyful act of worship and if you are lucky Mistress will then make you suffer to expedite your sins.

The gifts are reciprocal. Mistress Scarlett Thorne is extremely generous in giving you Her valuable time, doing amazing debauched things you could only dream of and allowing you to be in Her presence. There is no greater gift at any time of the year to spend time which such an amazing person.

Now it is important to remember that Mistresses do not want any old tat, surprises are good but it MUST BE something Mistress wants! Each to their means. In the Bible the poor shepherds give what little they can which is a lot in their terms and so much appreciated. The welathy wise men (like cash pigs for a Mistress) gave valuable gifts of gold (works well with Scarlett Thorne), expensive oils and nice smelling stuff (not such a good idea for Scarlett Thorne unless it is Thierry Alien perfume).

Fortunately, those who serve Mistress Scarlett Thorne have been given a guide by Her. So when you bring Her gifts get something from this list: http://www.mistressthorne.com/my-world/my-wishlist/

One last piece of advice for Scarlett Thorne's slaves...remember in the Tranny Flat it is always Christmas when Scarlett Thorne is in residence, so DON'T think you should only give Her gifts in December.

Diary of a sissy maid (3)

Found an old diary extract...thought i would put it up. Is no nice remembering happy times even ones filled with terror of the wrath of Mistress. Of course i am such a lucky gurl that my fab life serving the amazing Mistress Scarlett Thorne continues. So i shall be posting more up to date diaries again soon.


Wednesday 28 August 2013
It is hard to describe the feeling of overwhelming joy and relief simultaneously mixing with utter fear and panic. That was the feeling when i got a text message from Mistress Scarlett Thorne at 7pm announcing Her imminent return to the Tranny Flat and demanding that it was ready for seven sessions the next day.

The joy and relief came from the fact that the text meant Mistress still wanted me to serve Her. i take the part of my mantra that service is "a privilege not a right" very seriously and have had plenty of experience of when i have no longer been required. More often than not after a serious misdemeanour by me but not always, sometimes Her life changes and i no longer have as much of a place in it.

i hadn't heard from Mistress for several weeks although She had kindly tweeted twice that She missed me. Even so the arrival of the text was an immense relief. i was so happy that Mistress still wanted me in Her life.

Unfortunately the scale of the task in cleaning the Tranny Flat and without a key scared me. i know how furious She would be if things were not ready for Her to start abusing slaves.

Fortunately,  i was meeting Princess that night in the Tranny Flat with her lovely friend to go out to Tranny Shack. Getting changed was mixed with cleaning and then after a wonderful night of drinking and dancing there was more cleaning and tidying. Eventually i got home at 5am knowing Mistress could arrive any time and praying She would be happy.

Thursday 29 August 2013
Dragged myself out of bed and realised i had forgotten to give Mistress a wake-up cold call at 6am. First fail of the day and i find a message from Her simply saying: "Hopeless!"

Mistress Scarlett's train is late which has made Her cross but it is a great joy to see Her after almost three weeks. She takes out Her annoyance over the train on me by hitting me a few times, but isn't too displeased with state of the Tranny Flat.

As a special treat Mistress Scarlett, whose generosity is boundless, takes Princess and me for a drink at Ted's Place another tranny hangout. Get fondled by a creepy guy, which tends to be par for the course but i rarely object.

Friday 30 August 2013
Am absolutely shattered from lack of sleep. Do my best to serve Mistress Scarlett Thorne before She leaves back for Wales and i head home to pass out in bed.

Fortunately i find that sometimes if i can't think i work better because i simply react to what Mistress shouts to me.

Before W/we go O/our separate ways Mistress gives me some bonus time off the 3.5 days of punishment i am working off and a chastity release for working so hard. She is very generous but while i am delighted to get rewards it is the fact that they show She is happy with my service that makes me most happy. The week started with me wondering if i would be allowed back and ended with a reward.

Monday September 2 2013
Ordinary day. Get on with some cleaning to make sure the place is ready for MST's return. nothing much else to say. wear my current favourite dress, a short blue and white patterned one from H&M.

Tuesday September 3 2013
While MST is out i pop down to H&M to return a top neither of U/us liked. Unfortunately found out i had missed the return deadline. Really annoyed.

Have to spend far too much time at vanilla work. Boring. But do get to see Mistress in the evening, She even cooks me dinner. Of course i do the washing up.

Wednesday September 4 2013
Frustratingly heavy work load at my vanilla "silly part time job" as MST calls it. Not enough time in Tranny Flat. manage to get some chores done. Although Mistress is unhappy with my first attempt at the bathroom. She can find dirt where anywhere.

Thursday September 5 2013
W/we're all a bit worried about the money situation. Has been a very quiet summer. Summer holidays and school holidays in general are bad for sex workers but this summer has been one of the worst. Money for all of U/us is tight. Slaves need to start serving Mistress properly again She can't live on air She requires their tribute to continue living the lifestyle that allows them to enjoy their nasty little perversions.

i renew my whoring advertising and hope to get some more calls. Was quiet for me but i let my advertising run out over the summer.

Friday September 6 2013
Arrive at Tranny Flat to find one of THOSE lists from Mistress Scarlett Thorne which means a major reorganisation and clean-up is demanded. Top of the list is reorganising the Tranny Wardrobe of Doom (TWOD). It's a fearsome task, the TWOD is basically the engine of the TF. It has so many outfits and things in it that knowing where to begin is difficult.

Mistress goes out for most of the day so i tackle the list but carefully do almost everything else on it that is not the TWOD. That way Mistress is pleased with my progress although horrified to see a pile of clothes on the dungeon floor

Monday September 9
On my way to the TF i buy A LOT of clothes hangers - 60 for tops and dresses and 15 for skirts. Today is the big TWOD reorganisation day.

i spend hours and hours sorting out the TWOD. It has kind of metamorphosised into a monstrous chaos from me (mostly) putting things away where they will fit along with a failure to really look at how it is organised for ages. i move clothes out, i empty boxes, i find new homes for things, i put different things together, i put new labels on, i sort out the shoes and boots and i create a personal drawer for myself (a nice little treat Mistress has allowed me because it helps me get changed when She is having sessions).

At the end of it all i am very pleased and proud of my efforts. The wardrobe has far more space. Things are finally hung properly, it's easier to find things and generally it's better.
Just have to wait for Mistress Scarlett Thorne's judgement now. Certain feeling of trepidation. One concern is that there is STILL a shortage of hangers!

Tuesday September 10
MST returned from Wales last night and when i arrive She announces: "I am NOT happy with the TWOD!"
i almost cry.

Fortunately, She is happy with most of it, just wants two sections switched around. Which i do in a few minutes. i think Mistress loves making me panic and frightened, it also keeps me on my toes. Nothing can ever be "good enough" it must always be better.

Mistress also makes me empty my special drawer and put my things in one of the freed up plastic boxes to be hidden upstairs. Tells me i am in Her way every time i use the drawer.

Don't often write about clients but in the evening my slave J comes to see me. Begs me to let him f*** me. Tell him next time if he is a good boy. He is one of my favourites, really nice and a lovely cock. Even though I am his Mistress I love to suck him off as a treat for being obedient.

Wednesday September 11
Hate Wednesdays! Always bus at vanilla work. Manage to get some maid duties done in the morning.

MST shouts at me for not hanging Her bed sheets etc before. Asks why She bothers to employ me, She often asks that. Sometimes i point out She doesn't pay me anything so technically i am not employed. She always reminds me i am working off an every growing debt to Her worth billions now. Usually She hits me for being cheeky first.

Now i am in the mood for talking about clients. Had a new one today. Lovely gurl. Dressed her in pink and we f***ed and sucked and kissed and fondled. i do a lot of this sort of thing and i have become really good at bringing the fem out of guys who only dreamt they might be fem.

Btw i am only £100 an hour, which is really good for central London, so call me on 07532425141 for whatever fun you want.

Thursday September 12 2013

Today was about one of the bad side of clients in the sex trade. Had a new slave coming to see Me (have to refer to Myself in capitals when I am a Domme, life can be confusing). Anyway he mucked around, would not do what he was told and wouldn't come to the address. In the end I cancelled the session on MST's advice. W/we have to be very careful because there are plenty of nutters, violent types, idiots and thieves out their targeting working girls/ gurls and Dommes.

The guy was furious and really abusive which made me glad I pulled the plug on the session.

But I have one piece of advice when you want to see any Domme: DO EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE TOLD OR FUCK OFF!

If you follow basic instructions then an hour or more of mind blowing fun is guaranteed if you don't well you'll have to go and wank yourself off on your own.

Friday September 13 2013

Spend the morning maiding but head off early to get STD checks at the clinic. i am very careful when i session for my own sake and clients' too but if you're in the sex business you need to check regularly however careful you are and protect yourself too. Rather worryingly too i know somebody who may have got stabbed with a syringe at a club when i was outwith her so that's an extra reason to have a check up.

Monday September 16 2013
This is going to be a great week. Am on hols but can pretend i am at work so can maid and whore in TF all day without stress of my vanilla life encroaching.

MST is still away in Wales not back til late but there is plenty for me to do. i feel at such peace as i flit around the TF doing chores. It is wonderful having Mistress around but i am very happy on my own as well, being a gurl and knowing i am serving Her.

Have been thinking a lot about buying a latex dress, a red one for just £56 off ebay. Is very much aimed for sessions and me becoming a Tranny Domme. Finally do it today. Feel quite excited about it.

Tuesday September 17 2013
Arrive with more hangers. MST still not back in the morning but it allows me to put some final touches to reorganising the Tranny Wardrobe of Doom. Miss Mistress but She makes her presence felt with some texts to me.

Mistress Scarlett Thorne is the only person i know who can shout by text. As i read them i hear Her voice echoing in my ears. Slightly worried i may be in trouble, well i say "slightly", actually bloody terrified.

Fortunately, when MST arrives She appears to be in a good mood and W/we have a nice chat.

But there is still a money problem which is very worrying. Business is only just picking up again after a very quiet summer and both MST and i have had vanilla life issues which have got in the way of doing sessions.

As i have said before slaves think Mistresses (and whores for that matter!) are rolling in it because W/we charge £100 or £200 an hour. But the truth is that it is a very precarious financial existence and one thing goes wrong then it can cause real problems.

Wednesday September 18 2013
Things are looking bad. MST is talking about U/us quitting the TF so W/we can make more money elsewhere. It means renting another Domme's chambers which is more profitable but means W/we lose all O/our own space.

On a selfish note (and i keep this to myself) i fear it means the end of me serving as a maid. MST insists Her friend who She is considering renting off would be happy to have me, but in my heart i know that sissy maids have to earn the trust of Dommes over a long time and take A LOT of tolerating.

i say nothing because i don't want MST to be pressured to stay in the TF if other options are better for Her. i exist to server Her not the other way round.

Thursday September 19 2013
MST, Princess and i come up with the beginnings of a plan to make the TF work. i beg MST to allow me to pay a little of the rent to help out and She allows me to keep my earnings up to the same amount. i essentially i am giving my whoring earnings in advance and taking a risk on them. i am happy to do that and P agrees to help more with the rent.

Work hard and quietly as MST gets on with things. A lot of cleaning up in between messy sessions.

The atmosphere is a bit more relaxed when i leave.

Friday September 20 2013
Sad day. i am off on road trips for the next two weeks with vanilla work so this is my last proper day of maiding for at least a week.

MST and P are also going on an adventure for the weekend. i work hard to help MST during the day and She promises me tow good gurl butterfly stickers for my work that day and sorting out the TWOD. Feel overjoyed and surprised.

Before that i have to go and have my Hep C jab and get my STD results at the clinic. All clear, relieved but not surprised.

At the end of the day though when She is about to award me the butterflies MST also points out my fails and gives me 13 strokes of the cane (one for every foot sticker on my bucket). Should say MST has Her own way of counting beyond the mundane vanilla norms so 13 was nearer to 30. But She said i took my beating well and i was a good gurl then gave me my butterflies.

i am so lucky to service Mistress Scarlett Thorne.

Thursday September 26 2013
Been away since Sunday on first of two vanilla work road trips. Spend most of the day catching up with piles of cleaning in TF.

After that i go to my vanilla office to pick up my latex dress. Gives me great joy as i take it back to TF.

Have a special treat at the end. able to go out with Mistress, Princess and other friends to watch a debut performance. Am dressed as a man but underneath i am a very happy tranny.

One of those days where i am in awe of Mistress' abilities well beyond Dommeing and bdsm.

Friday September 27 2013
Had hoped for a full day serving MST but things did not work out. Vanilla family crisis meant i had to stay at home and cancel clients. So frustrating and annoying. One of many downsides in living a double life.

Thursday 3 October 2013
Been away on a vanilla work road trip of drinking, long hours and actual work since Sunday. Still feel appallingly hungover. Had hoped to return to real duties in TF today but Mistress Scarlett Thorne is really ill and asked me to stay away. More worried for Her but also sad i can't get back in a dress.

Friday 4 October 2013
MST is still ill. Take day off again. Sleep a lot and get some much needed family time.Having a double life does take a toll on my family time, it is a sacrifice i happily make but it is good to rebalance my life sometimes. Very worried about Mistress though.

Monday 7 October 2013
Nothing to say. Pissed off! Vanilla work nightmare can't get to Tranny Flat to maid. my luck is out!

Tuesday October 8 2013
Back at last! Oh my Goddess! i have not been in the Tranny Flat for more than a week. It is hard to describe the pain and longing i feel when i am not there. It is hard enough to get through the weekend.

Anyway the place is a total tip! mistress will probably beat me up when She reads this but She has had a massive reorganisation, there is piles of washing, washing up and the floors are filthy. There's also lots of things to put away and i don't know where they go any more.

Worked flat out for four hours, didn't even take a coffee break and i hardly feel i have made much of a dent. Hope Mistress appreciates cleaner floors, a cleaner kitchen and all the clean clothes. Suspect she won't, however, hard i work it is impossible to hit Her standards because they simply adjust upwards to make sure i continuously improve.

Didn't get a chance to see Mistress because She was out but hopefully will see Her tomorrow morning. Was also sadly too busy at vanilla work to go out with Her in the evening to an event she had to attend. Hate it when that happens, i so love getting to be in Her entourage.

Late breaking news! Mistress texted me to say She will discuss the state of the TF tomorrow but "feels a tranny shaming coming on." Gulp! is all i can say to that.

Wednesday October 9 2013
Fantastic to see Mistress Scarlett Thorne again! Feel very happy. Get a lot of work done but busy day at vanilla work means i can only serve Her in the morning. Have desperately missed being a gurl and serving Mistress properly.

Spent a lot of time on my knees scrubbing the floor in the Tranny Flat which is really my comfort place in the world, it's where i belong.

Mistress did threaten to sack me for almost ruining one of Her dresses and She was not impressed with my floor cleaning yesterday but somehow i survived. Maybe my long absence made Her more forgiving.

Thursday October 10 2013
Mistress is ill again. So i can't go to the Tranny Flat because She needs some peace and quiet. Very worried about Her because She can't shake off this nasty cold/ flu. Get on with some vanilla work and catch up with this diary but spend the day wishing i could be in a dress maiding.

Friday October 11 2013
MST still ill. i am worried for Her. Sometimes She seems so frail and vulnerable.

Get on with catching up my diary and praying MST will be better on Monday.

Guess illness is also producing money issues again. Slaves really ought to remember this about their Mistress and just help out more and not always expect a session for their tribute. If MST is forced to quit because of a period of illness then they will all lose out and partly because of their selfishness.

Life is full of worries.

Monday October 14 2013
Total utter disaster of the day. Total disaster.

Was very clumsy and quite selfish with my texts to Mistress in the morning and annoyed Her A LOT. Just made matters worse with my response. Actually swore by text. Never done that before and afterwards i was terrified about Her response. If i am lucky She'll kill me but let me back.

Was feeling in despair by the end of the day. Don't know when or if i'll be allowed back. Can't believe i have f***ed up again.

Tuesday October 15 2013
Felt very depressed in the morning. Wondered when and if Mistress would let me back. It could be a month or more again...

Omg! Joyful surprise in afternoon. Mistress texts me in the afternoon and allows me back. Much sooner than i had hoped even at my most optimistic. Obviously, i was very apologetic and genuinely so.

Day ended happily serving Scarlett Thorne in Tranny Flat again. Perhaps not surprisingly it involved another massive reorganisation of the TF. This one is going to take several days at least. It's good to be back


Wednesday October 16 2013
First proper day for while of working in the TF. Big clean in the morning. More reorganisation in the evening. This change around is quite a major project. Hopefully it will help the TF make more money.

Do i need to sign my life away to Mistress on the dotted line?

Easily the best present i received for Christmas (it feels a long time ago now) was a lovely surprise from Mistress Scarlett Thorne which was the complete 50 Shades of Grey trilogy that i have been slowly ploughing through, although the beautiful little list pad She also bought me to help remember my chores etc might have been even better...

Anyway, back to the point, 50 Shades of Grey, is despite some of the sneering criticisms, a thoroughly enjoyable read even if the Dom/sub relationship is the wrong way round. i have a philosophical and biological problem with the concept of male Dominants as someone who believes in Female superiority.

But one of the issues that came up early in the book is when the heroine, Anastasia Steele, is introduced to the Dominant billionaire Christian Grey's kinky world. What happens is he presents her with a contract. What's slightly concerning is that it is essentially a legal contract to protect the two of them like a pre-nup but swapping marriage for different kinds of pain and chains!

i have to say that i found the details of the contract quite a turn off but this is because it was clearly aimed at protecting Grey against breach of privacy and consequences of the D/s relationship. But it did get me wondering if having to sign a contract to "legally" give my life to Mistress Scarlett Thorne might actually be something worth doing, at least symbolically.

i was reminded of it again this last week when i helped Mistress in a session with another sissy slave. The sissy had presented Mistress Scarlett Thorne with a little book with a very touching dedication to Her and a contract at the end. A lot of effort had gone into it was a lovely tribute to Mistress Scarlett Thorne, so in no way do i want to demean the sissy's efforts or others who produce things like that for a Domme, because that sort of behaviour should be encouraged and i know it was greatly appreciated by Mistress Thorne. However, if the sissy produced the contract because she thought it was necessary i think i would have to say she doesn't yet fully understand the nature of a Domme's ownership over a slave.

Having said this i know some Dommes make their slaves sign contracts so i started to mull over what a contract between Mistress Scarlett Thorne and me might look like....

Contract of Servitude of DaniTallulah (nee...) to Mistress Scarlett Thorne of the Tranny Flat, London

1. DT will obey every instruction from MST when it is given without question.

2. DT will accept that she is always in the wrong, MST is always right.

3. DT will accept that she takes responsibility for anything that goes wrong in the Tranny Flat and anything else MST decides she should take responsibility for.

4. DT will accept any punishment from MST without question and submit to it at the moment MST wishes to inflict or for the period MST decides.

5. DT will accept that she is only permitted in the Tranny Flat with MST permission and/ or instruction.

6. DT will receive only the pay and remuneration decided by MST, waives her right to the minimum wage, and accepts that she may not get paid at all.

7. DT agrees to contribute to the costs of the Tranny Flat through her work as a whore on a cut decided at the time by MST which can be up to 100 per cent of the takings.

8. DT agrees to pay a debt of a sum of money, currently standing at more than £1 billion, to MST at an interest rate to be decided, modified and known by MST only.

9. DT's main duties are cleaning the Tranny Flat, whoring and whatever MST decides they need to be.

10. DT accepts that if she does not anticipate MST's wishes before they are given to her then she can be punished subject to what MST decides.

11. DT will help buy supplies for the Tranny Flat.

12. DT accepts that MST has no obligation to her in any respect and under any circumstances.

13. DT accepts that ALL secrets belong to MST.

14. DT accepts that all property and moneys she holds belongs to MST.

15. DT must never complain about anything ever.

16. DT agrees that all her work must be aimed at benefiting and promoting MST.

17. The copyright of anything produced by DT belongs to MST.

18 . DT accepts that MST holds the rights to her body, mind and soul.

19. DT's service can be terminated and restarted at any time without notice by MST.

20. DT always remembers the golden rule: "Serving MST is a privilege not a right and must WORK HARDER and SUFFER MORE to deserve it".

Frankly, i could have gone on, but those 20 points provide a fair summary of the conditions of my servitude to the top London Mistress Scarlett Thorne. And i can tell you they are more than worth it!

The trouble is that contracts often come with rights as well as duties which is odd for a slave. But mine would be:

1. MST accepts that while She can beat DT when She wants She cannot leave lasting marks.

2. MST agrees never to breach DT's privacy in her other life.

3.  MST agrees not to reveal DT's identities without prior agreement.

Those essentially are my protections and rights if what we have were boiled down to terms and conditions. i could expect nothing more.

While it would symbolically have some value in signing my life away in a contract, a bit like having a collar, the duties, the terms i have outlined exist already in the lifestyle relationship i already enjoy serving Mistress Scarlett Thorne. So is there a point to a contract?

i cannot see one really standing up to scrutiny in a court of law. If hypothetically Mistress Scarlett Thorne caused me serious injury and somehow it ended up in court (it would not because i would never press charges but i know of slaves who have) then i cannot imagine there being a BDSM contract that would provide much of a defence.

If at some point i became free of my other life and was able to go full time as Mistress Scarlett Thorne's maid, PA, slave, sub or whatever (my dream) and live with Her, handing over all my property then i could see the need for a contract to protect me financially against it all going wrong and being thrown out on to the streets with nothing. Even then my faith in Her might make me think twice about a contract but that is the only circumstance i can imagine ever wanting one.

Even on a symbolic level i would question its value because it becomes THE point of reference. If you can tolerate me being pretentious for a moment i will explain why.

As somebody who has an interest in political theory, what we have here is the difference between the US written constitution and the British unwritten constitution. The American constitution was wonderful in its protection of basic rights such as the pursuit of happiness, but has no flexibility. So now it needs to ban guns the constitutional protection of the right to bear arms is a problem. The British system is not so great at protecting rights or setting anything in stone, but it has changed and adapted with time and circumstance and is extremely flexible.

The terms of my lifestyle arrangement with Mistress Scarlett Thorne have been just like the British unwritten constitution, they have grown and changed with time as W/we have got to know each other better and circumstances have changed. Sometimes those changes have been obvious, sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes through necessity, sometimes through Mistress' whims, sometimes though my failings.

After all if there had been a contract when Mistress Scarlett Thorne suddenly worked out i owed Her hundreds of millions of pounds it might have been a little awkward. But without a contract She was just able to impose Her will.

And here's the ridiculous scenario that may arise if there was a contract.

MST: dani why haven't You obeyed My instructions this morning? BAD MAID!

DT: Well Mistress, i would have obeyed them, but if You note clause 6 of the contract sub-section 1a  part vii it says clearly that my duties are limited to certain areas which do not cover the instructions You gave me this morning...now Mistress i know You are angry and intend to beat me with that giant candle stick but if You note clause 7 sub-section 2d part xii of O/our contract You would realise that You can't do that because...

i think most of you realise that the thrashing i would receive after that would render a contract pretty worthless!

Essentially anything that gives the sub even a modicum of power in the relationship seems to be a waste of time. The point of being a sub is learning to give power away and the point of being a Domme is understanding how to use and balance power over somebody.

So even a symbolic contract is limiting, it prevents the Domme and sub expanding their horizons and trying new things. at worst it becomes the point of reference and a cause of argument which in the end i suspect would undermine not support a D/s relationship.

Frankly, the process of a Domme taking ownership over somebody and the slave allowing it to happen is a much more profound and altering experience of transformation than any piece of paper could possibly convey.

i hesitate to use religious analogies but when Jesus called his disciples and completely changed who they were he did not ask St Peter and the rest to sign on the dotted line...."all payments deferred until the afterlife..." The apostles needed faith  and devotion which actually that is mostly what is needed by a sub who surrenders him or herself to a Dominant.

When it comes down to it Mistress Scarlett Thorne put me through a much more imaginative and interesting ritual to "sign my life away" when She baptised me in  a bath of Her own piss and gave me a new name which began my new life. It was akin to a religious experience and i have been bound to Her ever since as a tranny and Her slave but it was only a beginning of a process which has no end. Mistress has changed me physically and psychologically, She has trained me and broken me, She has found new ways to control me and each step has seen my bond to Her deepen and strengthen. She has gradually taken ownership of my mind, body and soul and reshaped me to suit Her needs.

In the end what is essential is not signing on the dotted line, but complete mutual trust which no contract can be a substitute for or even create by itself. That has what has developed between Mistress Thorne and me and is the foundation for everything else. The hardest moments in the relationship have come when there has been a break down in trust.

Of course, having rubbished contracts, if the fabulous Mistress Scarlett Thorne makes me sign one they will actually be the best thing ever.

Anyway contract or no contract there is nothing more i want from life or even the afterlife than to be allowed to serve Mistress Scarlett Thorne.

If you have any questions about transgender issues or life a submissive email me at TrannyAgony@live.co.uk or Tweet me on @DaniTallulah.

10 conversation lines to avoid if you want to pull a T-girl

When i was a man i was utterly rubbish at chat up lines. This may be because i was never a proper man but a girl stuck in a boy's body, however, since i finally embraced my true female nature i have had to endure the appalling variety of chat up lines men bombard us with and i am beginning to think that it may just be a general male failing.

i know there are plenty of guys out there who went to get into a T-girl's pants so here are some helpful tips in what conversation lines to avoid if you want to pull by the end of the night. These generally are true for girls who were lucky enough to be born in female bodies too, but even more so for T-girls because we tend to focus even more on the feminine.

1. Quoting Monty Python

Why do guys think this is the ultimate chat up line? i know you guys thinks it's the funniest thing ever and that woman played by Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors is supposedly wooed by some Python humour but you may as well pour a bucket of cold sick over a gurl because that's what quoting Python does to your chances of getting a shag.

2. Discussing football teams, tactics or whatever

Save it for the guys in the pub they appreciate other bores. The only good thing about sports stars is how good looking some are and who has been involved in the latest naughty gossip.

3. Military matters
Soldiers are fit and probably better looking than you. That's all the information we need.



4. Talk about your job.

Even if you think it is fascinating it is not. The exception to the rule is if you are a plastic surgeon offering a free boob job, a make-up artist, masseur, fitness instructor, model agent, involved in anyway in fashion or a jeweller ie useful jobs. And if you're a pimp i've already got one so f*** off! 

5. Boasting about how many pints you can down in one go.

Sorry all it means is that you end up limp and needing a piss all the time. Not worth opening our legs for.

6. Pretending you have an in depth knowledge of the stars.

I have yet to meet a man who can go beyond the Plough and it's the wrong stars anyway. We gurls may want to talk about celeb stars or even astrology stars which most guys don't have a clue about.

7. Science fiction 

Yawn! Still the wrong bloody stars.

8. Fantasy

The only Lord of the Rings we are interested in is some rich bloke giving us expensive jewellery.

9. How high you can score on computer games

As a general rule is the higher you computer score the smaller your... 

10. Cars

Omg! Is it pretty looking? Does it have a nice colour? Anything beyond that is really very unimportant. Oh yes the most important question: Is there enough room in the back seat or do we need to find a hotel?

A slave's watchword should be "gratitude"

There is no secret to a successful Domme/sub (D/s) relationship - Mistress is the Dominant and you are the slave. That means She is totally in control and you have no rights. Sounds simple, but all too often slaves forget their true status (and that has in the past included me).

Mistress Scarlett Thorne, who i have the privilege to serve, is the most generous person i know. She will almost always go over time with sessions. She goes out of Her way to help Her slaves. She spends hours making sure that those who come to serve Her have their fantasies fulfilled. She is incredibly caring, even though She is superior to all of us.

This is rare among Mistresses generally and for one as experienced and properly lifestyle as Scarlett Thorne it is almost unheard of.

Yet despite all this slaves still moan and whine.

If there is one piece of advice i am asked for more often than any by both new and experienced slaves it is usually some whining gripe about how they expected Mistress (not just Scarlett Thorne but many Others) to agree to some ridiculously excessive demand or not giving them extra time or not doing exactly what was expected or not doing something when they thought it might happen. Essentially the problem being slaves wanting something for free because they think somehow they have paid for it.

The trouble is that the moan is also more often than not also sent to Mistress in the form of whining and manipulative email, texts and dms. i know in Mistress Scarlett's case She is very hurt by these and feels it is a terrible betrayal by a slave who She has given so much of Herself for. And be in no doubt IT IS A BETRAYAL!

As i said i have made this mistake more than once. It is only through Mistress Scarlett's extraordinary ability to forgive and because She believes i am at heart devoted to Her that the resulting long, painful exiles did not become permanent. But i paid a heavy price for my bad behaviour which made me physically and mentally ill, and quite rightly so.

i think my last exile which lasted more than a month finally brought me to my senses. i realised that there is nothing more important to me than serving Mistress Scarlett Thorne and that i would be willing to sacrifice almost anything to be allowed to continue as Her property, maid, PA, punchbag and all the other roles i fill.

i have now found complete happiness and peace in the simple knowledge that i am able to serve the most remarkable Person i have ever met in my life, which is no small compliment. In turn Mistress Scarlett is a very generous Mistress. She knows She has complete power over me and that makes Her generosity all the more touching.

But for those of you who are feeling deeply frustrated and are about to send a whining text to your Mistress or/ and bad mouth Her behind Her back, then read the following points and DO NOT send the message.

1. Remember you are a slave in a D/s relationship. As a slave you have no rights (that's the point). If you don't take it seriously and are just playing at it then maybe proper BDSM is not for you. But here is a warning the "Dominatrixes" who are not lifestyle are much more likely to clock watch and kick you out when your time is up.

2. Never forget Mistress' many generosities and kindnesses. That is certainly the case with Scarlett Thorne. It is generous of Her to even allow you to enter Her service. Most Dommes are quite picky.

3. The money you pay for sessions is tribute to the Dominant you serve to support Her lifestyle it is not an exact science for a specific amount of time. For that tribute you will often get more than you asked for but sometimes less depending on Mistress' mood. Be grateful for whatever you get.

4. Remember that Dommes have a private life and do not want to be pestered all the time. They also need down time to recover and relax. Sessioning is hard work, some harder work than others.

5. Moaning is counterproductive. If you really annoy a Mistress She may cut your time, get rid of you, ignore you for weeks or months,or even get you blacklisted. Exile is a terrible thing.

6. Also remember that you are just one of many slaves for Mistress (that doesn't include me of course HAHA! because i am Scarlett Thorne's maid and there's just one of me). If you upset Her then She has many more play things She will prefer to give attention to.

So here are some Dos and Don'ts:

DO ask nicely and say please and thank you.

DON'T send whining texts or dms

DO be enormously grateful and broadcast your gratitude

DON'T show any ingratitude

DO make sure you do your best to make Mistress happy

DON'T bitch about Her to others in private or public

DO send polite requests

DON'T bombard her with hundreds of texts

If you feel frustrated, that's normal because you are a slave FFS! This is all about Mistress' whims and desires which just happen to overlap with yours.

So here is my advice: Before you pick up your mobile to send that umpteenth whining text take a deep breath and then several more deep breaths, think about the many generosities of Mistress, think about the consequences of really seriously annoying Her, think about how important serving Mistress is and then do not send the text.

One way to tackle it is to have a daily mantra like me.  Some of you may have seen it on Twitter and it allows me to keep things in perspective.

"Serving Mistress Scarlett Thorne is a privilege not a right, i must WORK HARDER ad SUFFER MORE to deserve it."

If you have any problems as a sub or tranny you can contact me on trannyagony@live.co.uk or on Twitter by tweeting @DaniTallulah.

Diary of a sissy maid (2)

Here's the next instalment of my diary as Mistress Scarlett Thorne's sissy maid. i don't put everything in just moments or thoughts which strike me as important.

Monday 5 August 2013
Mistress Scarlett Thorne (MST) is away in Wales and not coming back til tomorrow. i am supposed to clean but get bogged down by vanilla life stuff. Often find if i don't start at the Tranny Flat in the morning it is hard to catch up. Is generally a very frustrating day. Even a client who wanted to try out my various holes and me to try his cancels.
Eventually arrive at 7.30pm and run into Princess. Somehow it seems a good idea to go to a local cocktail restaurant and have an evening out...the cleaning can wait.
Go home tipsy and feeling very worried what happens if MST returns and finds TF not properly cleaned.

Tuesday 6 August 2013
Arrive at midday in TF far later than planned. Decide that lunch is for people with too much time. Often don't eat when i a maiding especially if MST is away. MST usually forces me to have something on the basis that if i pass out i am no good to Her.
Blitz the flat. Hoover, dust, mop, wipe clean things i have not cleaned before. Polish mirrors. Do all the washing and washing up. Reorganise Her wardrobe and clothes drawer. File the receipts into the correct envelopes. Don't stop til 8pm absolutely knackered.
MST texts to say She won't arrive til very late and i leave praying inwardly that She is happy with my work.
People imagine serving a Mistress that She is always there and You are just running around at Her beck and call but the truth is very different. i am often in the TF alone getting on with chores. i spend many hours alone with just my mop and cleaning materials for company and Classic FM playing in the background (MST insists its stays on).
There is no "play" as some might put it just work and the hope that MST will be at least semi-pleased. Even a brief word of praise fills me with joy.
i am not bored. i love doing the chores because i feel i am making a small contribution to Mistress' life and if i have downtime there is always work on my nails, shaving or doing online things.
People may look down on menial tasks but i wish i could do them all the time. It is a matter of working for the right person and i do.

Wednesday 7 August 2013
Very happy MST is back. Get to TF as quickly as possible to hear Her verdict on my cleaning.
"Not bad."
For somebody with MST's high standards that's quite high praise although She thinks i should have polished the mirrors better.
But there is good and bad news at the end of the day. MST is pleased enough to give me my two butterfly stickers back BUT if i "f*** up again" i start losing stickers i had previously won. i have 24 hours to see if i am two up or more down.
MST does these things to exert Her control over me. She knows that it will make me panic and worry and i think think She derives a lot of pleasure from stirring up my fear and uncertainty. But i guess She is a sadist, She doesn't play at being one!
Highlight of the day was spending an hour on my knees massaging MST's sore feet while She made telephone calls and watched TV. They were a lot less sore after i finished but my hands and knees ached incredibly.
It really is my favourite task. There's a huge level of trust given to a slave when she or he is allowed to massage a Domme and more than that there is a symbiotic relationship that develops. As i massage i sort of soak up Mistress' pain into my hands and take it on for Her. It is very intimate but it can also be very dehumanising because as the sub gets on with it the Mistress largely ignores her or him except to give the odd verbal instruction on changing the emphasis of he massage. i remember i once massaged MST's feet for two hours while She watched a film about somebody being buried alive. She ignored me throuhout, i felt like a utility, but i also felt very happy.
It is not always true though. Sometimes the massage is the time when Mistress discusses Her personal things with the sub and gossips. So it can also be very personal and friendly time.
Today was a mixture of both.But whichever it is there is nothing to beat being at your Mistress' feet on your knees serving Her.

Thursday 8 August 2013
So what do you do as a slave when the Mistress you serve gives one order then one of Her best friends another Domme arrives and gives contradictory orders?
i tend to go with the Domme in front of me on the basis that whichever way i go punishment is inevitable and the nearest Domme is the one in the best position to hit you.
Any today MST was away on vanilla life business and Her great friend Mistress Luna arrived with new equipment for Her to borrow. MST had said to wait before taking things up to the flat, ML had other ideas. So boyed up i assisted ML.
MST arrived, told me off, beat me hard, shouted a bit and then W/we all got on with another TF reorganisation.
This represented survival for a sub. Although i almost got myself in terible trouble for forgetting toput ice in ML's drink.
At the end of the day MST made me kneel and gave me two good gurl butterflies on my bucket but also three bad gurl feet. That's 13 strikes of a cane to my feet for every misdemeanor but 13 per cent of the way to a shopping trip with the butterflies.

Friday 9 August 2013
Sad day because i am going away on holiday for two weeks. MST beats me hard for having the cheek for going away, although i did ask permission.
Most people feel happy about going on holiday but my idea of a holiday would be to just serve MST without worrying about my other life.
Work really hard, almost get the sack twice and somehow survive.
Before i go MST gets me to kneel again with the bucket. This time there is a new poo sticker for shame but two more butterfly stickers for working so hard.
Also Mistress puts "My best gurl" on the bucket. Feel incredibly happy. Going to miss Her so much and the TrannyFlat.

From slouch to slut - how serving Scarlett Thorne has physically changed me

i am what is described as a "pre-op tranny". To put it crudely i haven't had a boob job, been pumped with hormones or had anything chopped off and replaced with an extra hole. However, just because i have not gone under the surgeon's knife does not mean i have not undergone so major physical changes as i have been systematically feminised.

This blog is meant as a double celebration. It is partly to mark the third anniversary of when my servitude to Mistress Scarlett Thorne began, the cause of the changes i am about to describe. But it is also one of my gifts to Mistress on Her birthday which happily occurs within a few days of my anniversary of entering Her service.

It is fair to say that everything i am about to describe was either inspired, instructed, taught, forced or inflicted by Scarlett Thorne as She has relentlessly reshaped me and transformed me into my true self and a better feminine person. i have been very fortunate to have come under the influence of such a talented Mistress who has been willing to spend so much time on me. Every aspect of my physical feminisation has been an improvement.

In the last three years i have transformed beyond recognition. Somebody close to me in my vanilla life commented that i am a totally changed person physically as well as mentally, although they did not know the reason.

Weight Loss

The first change and one that has continued is the huge amount of weight i lost. When i first shambled through the dungeon door and me Mistress Scarlett Thorne i was not obese but was certainly fat. In that typical male fashion i did not recognise or care about it. Diets were for women!

But the weight loss at first came as part of a change in my subconscious. i suddenly became aware that i was losing weight rapidly and doing thing like dieting and exercise without thinking about it. The cause was my first shopping trip with Scarlett Thorne when She allowed me to join Her entourage at Erotica in London. That day i splashed out on an amazing zebra print coat, a size 18, which was pretty large. Somehow i think that planted the seed in my mind that i wanted to be smaller, thinner and more attractive.

i still remember the joy i felt when i could fit into a size 16 pvc dress as the first sign that the weight was coming off. In three years i am now three stone less than i was that day i first met Mistress and can even fit into a size 10 on occasions and Mistress even thinks i could squeeze into size 8 hotpants!

But of course another reason for losing the pounds is being taken on as Scarlett Thorne's full time maid. She stops me from starving to death by forcing me to eat biscuits and scraps from Her kitchen (usually left over beans and mouldy toast) but She works me like a bitch, none stop. my daily mantra is that i "must work harder" and She makes it clear that each new day involves a new level of intensity of work for Her, which is only fair for a Mistress to expect from a slave. So all the desperate running around to keep up with Her demands and all the chores have certainly helped me shed the pounds.

i am not sure if cum s fattening and do get to eat a lot of it as part of my whoring job. However, when i am whoring cum is usually the only thing Mistress allows me to swallow, probably so i am hungry for more.

Hair loss

It is funny to think that three years ago i had a beard and even after i started being a tranny i kept it for a few months. Hair loss has been a big problem mainly because of prejudices at home, but over time i have waxed, shaved and lasered it all off.

i love having bare legs now and i feel so much sexier for it. And not having hair around my arsecrack is much nicer for clients when they want to use me for their pleasure.

i even have a special laser device to stop regrowth. Now i have got rid of almost all my body hair i can't imagine wanting it back again. It makes putting sun tan lotion or moisteriser on so much easier and frankly is so much more attractive. i am not going to apologise fr being a shameless slut. When i go out i want men to touch me up and want to f*** me. A nice smooth gurl is far more likely to be a nice honeytrap.

For those though who struggle because of their vanilla lives with getting rid of hair, and i know the problem, then i have written a blog post on tactical things you can do by clicking here.

The benefits of torture

As those of you who know the methods of Scarlett Thorne will be aware, butt plugs and nipple clamps are regular methods of basic punishment. She often makes me wear them when i do my chores to motivate me.

The great advantage of butt plugs and other things Mistress forces me to take up my arse is that they strtch my hole. This means i can take larger things and this in turn is good for business because my tranny pussy is ready for cocks of all sizes. This in turn means i can earn more money for Mistress.

Mistress also stuck things down the little hole on what is now my clitoris but used to be my penis. She has said She intends to do more work on it and eventually turn that hole into a pussy. While nowhere near that yet the hole is much larger than before.

Nipple clamps of varying hardness and pain thresholds teach you to take pain and suffer more (another part of my daily mantra). A good slave needs to be able to take a lot of pain to work more efficiently and cope with the regular blows and beatings from Mistress.

The clamps have also enormously increased the size of my nipples which used to be very small. When i do do have breast implants it means my nipples will be nice and big and ready for me to look properly sexy.

Nails, teeth and skin

One of the things that Mistress forced me to do was to have a pedicure. i used to have horrid toe nails and that was put right with a really good pedicure. It also softened the skin on my feet and took the old hard dead skin away.

This has had several advantages. First, again it is good for business, i can now offer services to foot fetishists and not feel embarrassed.

Also it means that Mistress' preferred punishment (caning my foot soles) is even more painful and terrifying than it was before.

The improvement on my toe nails means that it is also much easier to use nice nail polish and then get it off when i return to the vanilla world. This is also true of my hands where Mistress has taught me to look after my nails with special files and ordered me to do it regularly. my hands look amazingly better for it and my nails are much stronger.

Also on my hands Mistress has made me grow my nails longer which makes them look far more attractive when properly painted.

One thing that Scarlett Thorne is also keen on is that i guard against the signs of ageing especially on my hands. One of my favourites tasks for Her has helped in this respect, giving Mistress a foot massage. When i do this i use Cocoa Butter moisteriser so my hands get moisterised too in the process. i also use moisteriser independently now to make my skin softer and look younger.

An added bonus is that i have discovered longer nails work better with typing.

Mistress is also very particular about teeth. When i was younger i was lucky because my parents forced me to wear braces. i didn't feel lucky at the time mind you! But thanks to the braces my teeth are in good shape in my mouth.

But one of my few initiatives since becoming a gurl was to buy toothpaste for whitening. It has been amazing! Within a few months i have lost the yellowy smile and now have something more akin to a film star. i can tell you that men are much happier to stick their cocks into the mouth of a girl with clean white teeth to somebody who looks like their dentures have been transplanted from a zombie movie.

Mistress also persuaded me to regularly chew minty gum which means i always have fresh breath. i think we all know that nice smelling breath makes a much better impression on people!

Posture

There are so many things that Mistress Scarlett Thorne has taught me and forced me to do to become more feminine in the way i conduct myself. She spent many hours teaching me various ways of walking like a girl. She put an end to the slouching, shuffling man She first met.

i now sit like a girl. i keep my knees together or legs crossed. When you have a dress it focusses the mind on not sitting with your legs apart, nasty male habit.

Mistress has also forced me to hold y shoulders back, stick my boobs out, hold my stomach in and stick my bum out. i need to look good and sexy to attract men. Actually when i had a photoshoot recently, Mistress literally manhandled, manipulated and punched me to get the right posture. It was very uncomfortable and painful but totally worth it!

These are just some of the ways i have physically changed. i could mention the voice as well, which i have consciously had it make higher and more feminine. This is quite a tough physical exercise and involves singing lots of scales.

The great thing though is that while Mistress Scarlett Thorne has taken me a long way there is always more to do and more improvements to be done. i am very luck that She never seems to tire of forcing me to become feminine in another way.

i know i am on a journey to become a proper girl who knows it may, actually hopefully, will end in surgery, but i hope from reading this blog you have realised there is so much that can be done without making an appointment with the doctor.

If you want any help or advice with your tranny or sub life e-mail me on trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah