Do i need to sign my life away to Mistress on the dotted line?

Easily the best present i received for Christmas (it feels a long time ago now) was a lovely surprise from Mistress Scarlett Thorne which was the complete 50 Shades of Grey trilogy that i have been slowly ploughing through, although the beautiful little list pad She also bought me to help remember my chores etc might have been even better...

Anyway, back to the point, 50 Shades of Grey, is despite some of the sneering criticisms, a thoroughly enjoyable read even if the Dom/sub relationship is the wrong way round. i have a philosophical and biological problem with the concept of male Dominants as someone who believes in Female superiority.

But one of the issues that came up early in the book is when the heroine, Anastasia Steele, is introduced to the Dominant billionaire Christian Grey's kinky world. What happens is he presents her with a contract. What's slightly concerning is that it is essentially a legal contract to protect the two of them like a pre-nup but swapping marriage for different kinds of pain and chains!

i have to say that i found the details of the contract quite a turn off but this is because it was clearly aimed at protecting Grey against breach of privacy and consequences of the D/s relationship. But it did get me wondering if having to sign a contract to "legally" give my life to Mistress Scarlett Thorne might actually be something worth doing, at least symbolically.

i was reminded of it again this last week when i helped Mistress in a session with another sissy slave. The sissy had presented Mistress Scarlett Thorne with a little book with a very touching dedication to Her and a contract at the end. A lot of effort had gone into it was a lovely tribute to Mistress Scarlett Thorne, so in no way do i want to demean the sissy's efforts or others who produce things like that for a Domme, because that sort of behaviour should be encouraged and i know it was greatly appreciated by Mistress Thorne. However, if the sissy produced the contract because she thought it was necessary i think i would have to say she doesn't yet fully understand the nature of a Domme's ownership over a slave.

Having said this i know some Dommes make their slaves sign contracts so i started to mull over what a contract between Mistress Scarlett Thorne and me might look like....

Contract of Servitude of DaniTallulah (nee...) to Mistress Scarlett Thorne of the Tranny Flat, London

1. DT will obey every instruction from MST when it is given without question.

2. DT will accept that she is always in the wrong, MST is always right.

3. DT will accept that she takes responsibility for anything that goes wrong in the Tranny Flat and anything else MST decides she should take responsibility for.

4. DT will accept any punishment from MST without question and submit to it at the moment MST wishes to inflict or for the period MST decides.

5. DT will accept that she is only permitted in the Tranny Flat with MST permission and/ or instruction.

6. DT will receive only the pay and remuneration decided by MST, waives her right to the minimum wage, and accepts that she may not get paid at all.

7. DT agrees to contribute to the costs of the Tranny Flat through her work as a whore on a cut decided at the time by MST which can be up to 100 per cent of the takings.

8. DT agrees to pay a debt of a sum of money, currently standing at more than £1 billion, to MST at an interest rate to be decided, modified and known by MST only.

9. DT's main duties are cleaning the Tranny Flat, whoring and whatever MST decides they need to be.

10. DT accepts that if she does not anticipate MST's wishes before they are given to her then she can be punished subject to what MST decides.

11. DT will help buy supplies for the Tranny Flat.

12. DT accepts that MST has no obligation to her in any respect and under any circumstances.

13. DT accepts that ALL secrets belong to MST.

14. DT accepts that all property and moneys she holds belongs to MST.

15. DT must never complain about anything ever.

16. DT agrees that all her work must be aimed at benefiting and promoting MST.

17. The copyright of anything produced by DT belongs to MST.

18 . DT accepts that MST holds the rights to her body, mind and soul.

19. DT's service can be terminated and restarted at any time without notice by MST.

20. DT always remembers the golden rule: "Serving MST is a privilege not a right and must WORK HARDER and SUFFER MORE to deserve it".

Frankly, i could have gone on, but those 20 points provide a fair summary of the conditions of my servitude to the top London Mistress Scarlett Thorne. And i can tell you they are more than worth it!

The trouble is that contracts often come with rights as well as duties which is odd for a slave. But mine would be:

1. MST accepts that while She can beat DT when She wants She cannot leave lasting marks.

2. MST agrees never to breach DT's privacy in her other life.

3.  MST agrees not to reveal DT's identities without prior agreement.

Those essentially are my protections and rights if what we have were boiled down to terms and conditions. i could expect nothing more.

While it would symbolically have some value in signing my life away in a contract, a bit like having a collar, the duties, the terms i have outlined exist already in the lifestyle relationship i already enjoy serving Mistress Scarlett Thorne. So is there a point to a contract?

i cannot see one really standing up to scrutiny in a court of law. If hypothetically Mistress Scarlett Thorne caused me serious injury and somehow it ended up in court (it would not because i would never press charges but i know of slaves who have) then i cannot imagine there being a BDSM contract that would provide much of a defence.

If at some point i became free of my other life and was able to go full time as Mistress Scarlett Thorne's maid, PA, slave, sub or whatever (my dream) and live with Her, handing over all my property then i could see the need for a contract to protect me financially against it all going wrong and being thrown out on to the streets with nothing. Even then my faith in Her might make me think twice about a contract but that is the only circumstance i can imagine ever wanting one.

Even on a symbolic level i would question its value because it becomes THE point of reference. If you can tolerate me being pretentious for a moment i will explain why.

As somebody who has an interest in political theory, what we have here is the difference between the US written constitution and the British unwritten constitution. The American constitution was wonderful in its protection of basic rights such as the pursuit of happiness, but has no flexibility. So now it needs to ban guns the constitutional protection of the right to bear arms is a problem. The British system is not so great at protecting rights or setting anything in stone, but it has changed and adapted with time and circumstance and is extremely flexible.

The terms of my lifestyle arrangement with Mistress Scarlett Thorne have been just like the British unwritten constitution, they have grown and changed with time as W/we have got to know each other better and circumstances have changed. Sometimes those changes have been obvious, sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes through necessity, sometimes through Mistress' whims, sometimes though my failings.

After all if there had been a contract when Mistress Scarlett Thorne suddenly worked out i owed Her hundreds of millions of pounds it might have been a little awkward. But without a contract She was just able to impose Her will.

And here's the ridiculous scenario that may arise if there was a contract.

MST: dani why haven't You obeyed My instructions this morning? BAD MAID!

DT: Well Mistress, i would have obeyed them, but if You note clause 6 of the contract sub-section 1a  part vii it says clearly that my duties are limited to certain areas which do not cover the instructions You gave me this morning...now Mistress i know You are angry and intend to beat me with that giant candle stick but if You note clause 7 sub-section 2d part xii of O/our contract You would realise that You can't do that because...

i think most of you realise that the thrashing i would receive after that would render a contract pretty worthless!

Essentially anything that gives the sub even a modicum of power in the relationship seems to be a waste of time. The point of being a sub is learning to give power away and the point of being a Domme is understanding how to use and balance power over somebody.

So even a symbolic contract is limiting, it prevents the Domme and sub expanding their horizons and trying new things. at worst it becomes the point of reference and a cause of argument which in the end i suspect would undermine not support a D/s relationship.

Frankly, the process of a Domme taking ownership over somebody and the slave allowing it to happen is a much more profound and altering experience of transformation than any piece of paper could possibly convey.

i hesitate to use religious analogies but when Jesus called his disciples and completely changed who they were he did not ask St Peter and the rest to sign on the dotted line...."all payments deferred until the afterlife..." The apostles needed faith  and devotion which actually that is mostly what is needed by a sub who surrenders him or herself to a Dominant.

When it comes down to it Mistress Scarlett Thorne put me through a much more imaginative and interesting ritual to "sign my life away" when She baptised me in  a bath of Her own piss and gave me a new name which began my new life. It was akin to a religious experience and i have been bound to Her ever since as a tranny and Her slave but it was only a beginning of a process which has no end. Mistress has changed me physically and psychologically, She has trained me and broken me, She has found new ways to control me and each step has seen my bond to Her deepen and strengthen. She has gradually taken ownership of my mind, body and soul and reshaped me to suit Her needs.

In the end what is essential is not signing on the dotted line, but complete mutual trust which no contract can be a substitute for or even create by itself. That has what has developed between Mistress Thorne and me and is the foundation for everything else. The hardest moments in the relationship have come when there has been a break down in trust.

Of course, having rubbished contracts, if the fabulous Mistress Scarlett Thorne makes me sign one they will actually be the best thing ever.

Anyway contract or no contract there is nothing more i want from life or even the afterlife than to be allowed to serve Mistress Scarlett Thorne.

If you have any questions about transgender issues or life a submissive email me at TrannyAgony@live.co.uk or Tweet me on @DaniTallulah.

10 conversation lines to avoid if you want to pull a T-girl

When i was a man i was utterly rubbish at chat up lines. This may be because i was never a proper man but a girl stuck in a boy's body, however, since i finally embraced my true female nature i have had to endure the appalling variety of chat up lines men bombard us with and i am beginning to think that it may just be a general male failing.

i know there are plenty of guys out there who went to get into a T-girl's pants so here are some helpful tips in what conversation lines to avoid if you want to pull by the end of the night. These generally are true for girls who were lucky enough to be born in female bodies too, but even more so for T-girls because we tend to focus even more on the feminine.

1. Quoting Monty Python

Why do guys think this is the ultimate chat up line? i know you guys thinks it's the funniest thing ever and that woman played by Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors is supposedly wooed by some Python humour but you may as well pour a bucket of cold sick over a gurl because that's what quoting Python does to your chances of getting a shag.

2. Discussing football teams, tactics or whatever

Save it for the guys in the pub they appreciate other bores. The only good thing about sports stars is how good looking some are and who has been involved in the latest naughty gossip.

3. Military matters
Soldiers are fit and probably better looking than you. That's all the information we need.



4. Talk about your job.

Even if you think it is fascinating it is not. The exception to the rule is if you are a plastic surgeon offering a free boob job, a make-up artist, masseur, fitness instructor, model agent, involved in anyway in fashion or a jeweller ie useful jobs. And if you're a pimp i've already got one so f*** off! 

5. Boasting about how many pints you can down in one go.

Sorry all it means is that you end up limp and needing a piss all the time. Not worth opening our legs for.

6. Pretending you have an in depth knowledge of the stars.

I have yet to meet a man who can go beyond the Plough and it's the wrong stars anyway. We gurls may want to talk about celeb stars or even astrology stars which most guys don't have a clue about.

7. Science fiction 

Yawn! Still the wrong bloody stars.

8. Fantasy

The only Lord of the Rings we are interested in is some rich bloke giving us expensive jewellery.

9. How high you can score on computer games

As a general rule is the higher you computer score the smaller your... 

10. Cars

Omg! Is it pretty looking? Does it have a nice colour? Anything beyond that is really very unimportant. Oh yes the most important question: Is there enough room in the back seat or do we need to find a hotel?

A slave's watchword should be "gratitude"

There is no secret to a successful Domme/sub (D/s) relationship - Mistress is the Dominant and you are the slave. That means She is totally in control and you have no rights. Sounds simple, but all too often slaves forget their true status (and that has in the past included me).

Mistress Scarlett Thorne, who i have the privilege to serve, is the most generous person i know. She will almost always go over time with sessions. She goes out of Her way to help Her slaves. She spends hours making sure that those who come to serve Her have their fantasies fulfilled. She is incredibly caring, even though She is superior to all of us.

This is rare among Mistresses generally and for one as experienced and properly lifestyle as Scarlett Thorne it is almost unheard of.

Yet despite all this slaves still moan and whine.

If there is one piece of advice i am asked for more often than any by both new and experienced slaves it is usually some whining gripe about how they expected Mistress (not just Scarlett Thorne but many Others) to agree to some ridiculously excessive demand or not giving them extra time or not doing exactly what was expected or not doing something when they thought it might happen. Essentially the problem being slaves wanting something for free because they think somehow they have paid for it.

The trouble is that the moan is also more often than not also sent to Mistress in the form of whining and manipulative email, texts and dms. i know in Mistress Scarlett's case She is very hurt by these and feels it is a terrible betrayal by a slave who She has given so much of Herself for. And be in no doubt IT IS A BETRAYAL!

As i said i have made this mistake more than once. It is only through Mistress Scarlett's extraordinary ability to forgive and because She believes i am at heart devoted to Her that the resulting long, painful exiles did not become permanent. But i paid a heavy price for my bad behaviour which made me physically and mentally ill, and quite rightly so.

i think my last exile which lasted more than a month finally brought me to my senses. i realised that there is nothing more important to me than serving Mistress Scarlett Thorne and that i would be willing to sacrifice almost anything to be allowed to continue as Her property, maid, PA, punchbag and all the other roles i fill.

i have now found complete happiness and peace in the simple knowledge that i am able to serve the most remarkable Person i have ever met in my life, which is no small compliment. In turn Mistress Scarlett is a very generous Mistress. She knows She has complete power over me and that makes Her generosity all the more touching.

But for those of you who are feeling deeply frustrated and are about to send a whining text to your Mistress or/ and bad mouth Her behind Her back, then read the following points and DO NOT send the message.

1. Remember you are a slave in a D/s relationship. As a slave you have no rights (that's the point). If you don't take it seriously and are just playing at it then maybe proper BDSM is not for you. But here is a warning the "Dominatrixes" who are not lifestyle are much more likely to clock watch and kick you out when your time is up.

2. Never forget Mistress' many generosities and kindnesses. That is certainly the case with Scarlett Thorne. It is generous of Her to even allow you to enter Her service. Most Dommes are quite picky.

3. The money you pay for sessions is tribute to the Dominant you serve to support Her lifestyle it is not an exact science for a specific amount of time. For that tribute you will often get more than you asked for but sometimes less depending on Mistress' mood. Be grateful for whatever you get.

4. Remember that Dommes have a private life and do not want to be pestered all the time. They also need down time to recover and relax. Sessioning is hard work, some harder work than others.

5. Moaning is counterproductive. If you really annoy a Mistress She may cut your time, get rid of you, ignore you for weeks or months,or even get you blacklisted. Exile is a terrible thing.

6. Also remember that you are just one of many slaves for Mistress (that doesn't include me of course HAHA! because i am Scarlett Thorne's maid and there's just one of me). If you upset Her then She has many more play things She will prefer to give attention to.

So here are some Dos and Don'ts:

DO ask nicely and say please and thank you.

DON'T send whining texts or dms

DO be enormously grateful and broadcast your gratitude

DON'T show any ingratitude

DO make sure you do your best to make Mistress happy

DON'T bitch about Her to others in private or public

DO send polite requests

DON'T bombard her with hundreds of texts

If you feel frustrated, that's normal because you are a slave FFS! This is all about Mistress' whims and desires which just happen to overlap with yours.

So here is my advice: Before you pick up your mobile to send that umpteenth whining text take a deep breath and then several more deep breaths, think about the many generosities of Mistress, think about the consequences of really seriously annoying Her, think about how important serving Mistress is and then do not send the text.

One way to tackle it is to have a daily mantra like me.  Some of you may have seen it on Twitter and it allows me to keep things in perspective.

"Serving Mistress Scarlett Thorne is a privilege not a right, i must WORK HARDER ad SUFFER MORE to deserve it."

If you have any problems as a sub or tranny you can contact me on trannyagony@live.co.uk or on Twitter by tweeting @DaniTallulah.

Diary of a sissy maid (2)

Here's the next instalment of my diary as Mistress Scarlett Thorne's sissy maid. i don't put everything in just moments or thoughts which strike me as important.

Monday 5 August 2013
Mistress Scarlett Thorne (MST) is away in Wales and not coming back til tomorrow. i am supposed to clean but get bogged down by vanilla life stuff. Often find if i don't start at the Tranny Flat in the morning it is hard to catch up. Is generally a very frustrating day. Even a client who wanted to try out my various holes and me to try his cancels.
Eventually arrive at 7.30pm and run into Princess. Somehow it seems a good idea to go to a local cocktail restaurant and have an evening out...the cleaning can wait.
Go home tipsy and feeling very worried what happens if MST returns and finds TF not properly cleaned.

Tuesday 6 August 2013
Arrive at midday in TF far later than planned. Decide that lunch is for people with too much time. Often don't eat when i a maiding especially if MST is away. MST usually forces me to have something on the basis that if i pass out i am no good to Her.
Blitz the flat. Hoover, dust, mop, wipe clean things i have not cleaned before. Polish mirrors. Do all the washing and washing up. Reorganise Her wardrobe and clothes drawer. File the receipts into the correct envelopes. Don't stop til 8pm absolutely knackered.
MST texts to say She won't arrive til very late and i leave praying inwardly that She is happy with my work.
People imagine serving a Mistress that She is always there and You are just running around at Her beck and call but the truth is very different. i am often in the TF alone getting on with chores. i spend many hours alone with just my mop and cleaning materials for company and Classic FM playing in the background (MST insists its stays on).
There is no "play" as some might put it just work and the hope that MST will be at least semi-pleased. Even a brief word of praise fills me with joy.
i am not bored. i love doing the chores because i feel i am making a small contribution to Mistress' life and if i have downtime there is always work on my nails, shaving or doing online things.
People may look down on menial tasks but i wish i could do them all the time. It is a matter of working for the right person and i do.

Wednesday 7 August 2013
Very happy MST is back. Get to TF as quickly as possible to hear Her verdict on my cleaning.
"Not bad."
For somebody with MST's high standards that's quite high praise although She thinks i should have polished the mirrors better.
But there is good and bad news at the end of the day. MST is pleased enough to give me my two butterfly stickers back BUT if i "f*** up again" i start losing stickers i had previously won. i have 24 hours to see if i am two up or more down.
MST does these things to exert Her control over me. She knows that it will make me panic and worry and i think think She derives a lot of pleasure from stirring up my fear and uncertainty. But i guess She is a sadist, She doesn't play at being one!
Highlight of the day was spending an hour on my knees massaging MST's sore feet while She made telephone calls and watched TV. They were a lot less sore after i finished but my hands and knees ached incredibly.
It really is my favourite task. There's a huge level of trust given to a slave when she or he is allowed to massage a Domme and more than that there is a symbiotic relationship that develops. As i massage i sort of soak up Mistress' pain into my hands and take it on for Her. It is very intimate but it can also be very dehumanising because as the sub gets on with it the Mistress largely ignores her or him except to give the odd verbal instruction on changing the emphasis of he massage. i remember i once massaged MST's feet for two hours while She watched a film about somebody being buried alive. She ignored me throuhout, i felt like a utility, but i also felt very happy.
It is not always true though. Sometimes the massage is the time when Mistress discusses Her personal things with the sub and gossips. So it can also be very personal and friendly time.
Today was a mixture of both.But whichever it is there is nothing to beat being at your Mistress' feet on your knees serving Her.

Thursday 8 August 2013
So what do you do as a slave when the Mistress you serve gives one order then one of Her best friends another Domme arrives and gives contradictory orders?
i tend to go with the Domme in front of me on the basis that whichever way i go punishment is inevitable and the nearest Domme is the one in the best position to hit you.
Any today MST was away on vanilla life business and Her great friend Mistress Luna arrived with new equipment for Her to borrow. MST had said to wait before taking things up to the flat, ML had other ideas. So boyed up i assisted ML.
MST arrived, told me off, beat me hard, shouted a bit and then W/we all got on with another TF reorganisation.
This represented survival for a sub. Although i almost got myself in terible trouble for forgetting toput ice in ML's drink.
At the end of the day MST made me kneel and gave me two good gurl butterflies on my bucket but also three bad gurl feet. That's 13 strikes of a cane to my feet for every misdemeanor but 13 per cent of the way to a shopping trip with the butterflies.

Friday 9 August 2013
Sad day because i am going away on holiday for two weeks. MST beats me hard for having the cheek for going away, although i did ask permission.
Most people feel happy about going on holiday but my idea of a holiday would be to just serve MST without worrying about my other life.
Work really hard, almost get the sack twice and somehow survive.
Before i go MST gets me to kneel again with the bucket. This time there is a new poo sticker for shame but two more butterfly stickers for working so hard.
Also Mistress puts "My best gurl" on the bucket. Feel incredibly happy. Going to miss Her so much and the TrannyFlat.

From slouch to slut - how serving Scarlett Thorne has physically changed me

i am what is described as a "pre-op tranny". To put it crudely i haven't had a boob job, been pumped with hormones or had anything chopped off and replaced with an extra hole. However, just because i have not gone under the surgeon's knife does not mean i have not undergone so major physical changes as i have been systematically feminised.

This blog is meant as a double celebration. It is partly to mark the third anniversary of when my servitude to Mistress Scarlett Thorne began, the cause of the changes i am about to describe. But it is also one of my gifts to Mistress on Her birthday which happily occurs within a few days of my anniversary of entering Her service.

It is fair to say that everything i am about to describe was either inspired, instructed, taught, forced or inflicted by Scarlett Thorne as She has relentlessly reshaped me and transformed me into my true self and a better feminine person. i have been very fortunate to have come under the influence of such a talented Mistress who has been willing to spend so much time on me. Every aspect of my physical feminisation has been an improvement.

In the last three years i have transformed beyond recognition. Somebody close to me in my vanilla life commented that i am a totally changed person physically as well as mentally, although they did not know the reason.

Weight Loss

The first change and one that has continued is the huge amount of weight i lost. When i first shambled through the dungeon door and me Mistress Scarlett Thorne i was not obese but was certainly fat. In that typical male fashion i did not recognise or care about it. Diets were for women!

But the weight loss at first came as part of a change in my subconscious. i suddenly became aware that i was losing weight rapidly and doing thing like dieting and exercise without thinking about it. The cause was my first shopping trip with Scarlett Thorne when She allowed me to join Her entourage at Erotica in London. That day i splashed out on an amazing zebra print coat, a size 18, which was pretty large. Somehow i think that planted the seed in my mind that i wanted to be smaller, thinner and more attractive.

i still remember the joy i felt when i could fit into a size 16 pvc dress as the first sign that the weight was coming off. In three years i am now three stone less than i was that day i first met Mistress and can even fit into a size 10 on occasions and Mistress even thinks i could squeeze into size 8 hotpants!

But of course another reason for losing the pounds is being taken on as Scarlett Thorne's full time maid. She stops me from starving to death by forcing me to eat biscuits and scraps from Her kitchen (usually left over beans and mouldy toast) but She works me like a bitch, none stop. my daily mantra is that i "must work harder" and She makes it clear that each new day involves a new level of intensity of work for Her, which is only fair for a Mistress to expect from a slave. So all the desperate running around to keep up with Her demands and all the chores have certainly helped me shed the pounds.

i am not sure if cum s fattening and do get to eat a lot of it as part of my whoring job. However, when i am whoring cum is usually the only thing Mistress allows me to swallow, probably so i am hungry for more.

Hair loss

It is funny to think that three years ago i had a beard and even after i started being a tranny i kept it for a few months. Hair loss has been a big problem mainly because of prejudices at home, but over time i have waxed, shaved and lasered it all off.

i love having bare legs now and i feel so much sexier for it. And not having hair around my arsecrack is much nicer for clients when they want to use me for their pleasure.

i even have a special laser device to stop regrowth. Now i have got rid of almost all my body hair i can't imagine wanting it back again. It makes putting sun tan lotion or moisteriser on so much easier and frankly is so much more attractive. i am not going to apologise fr being a shameless slut. When i go out i want men to touch me up and want to f*** me. A nice smooth gurl is far more likely to be a nice honeytrap.

For those though who struggle because of their vanilla lives with getting rid of hair, and i know the problem, then i have written a blog post on tactical things you can do by clicking here.

The benefits of torture

As those of you who know the methods of Scarlett Thorne will be aware, butt plugs and nipple clamps are regular methods of basic punishment. She often makes me wear them when i do my chores to motivate me.

The great advantage of butt plugs and other things Mistress forces me to take up my arse is that they strtch my hole. This means i can take larger things and this in turn is good for business because my tranny pussy is ready for cocks of all sizes. This in turn means i can earn more money for Mistress.

Mistress also stuck things down the little hole on what is now my clitoris but used to be my penis. She has said She intends to do more work on it and eventually turn that hole into a pussy. While nowhere near that yet the hole is much larger than before.

Nipple clamps of varying hardness and pain thresholds teach you to take pain and suffer more (another part of my daily mantra). A good slave needs to be able to take a lot of pain to work more efficiently and cope with the regular blows and beatings from Mistress.

The clamps have also enormously increased the size of my nipples which used to be very small. When i do do have breast implants it means my nipples will be nice and big and ready for me to look properly sexy.

Nails, teeth and skin

One of the things that Mistress forced me to do was to have a pedicure. i used to have horrid toe nails and that was put right with a really good pedicure. It also softened the skin on my feet and took the old hard dead skin away.

This has had several advantages. First, again it is good for business, i can now offer services to foot fetishists and not feel embarrassed.

Also it means that Mistress' preferred punishment (caning my foot soles) is even more painful and terrifying than it was before.

The improvement on my toe nails means that it is also much easier to use nice nail polish and then get it off when i return to the vanilla world. This is also true of my hands where Mistress has taught me to look after my nails with special files and ordered me to do it regularly. my hands look amazingly better for it and my nails are much stronger.

Also on my hands Mistress has made me grow my nails longer which makes them look far more attractive when properly painted.

One thing that Scarlett Thorne is also keen on is that i guard against the signs of ageing especially on my hands. One of my favourites tasks for Her has helped in this respect, giving Mistress a foot massage. When i do this i use Cocoa Butter moisteriser so my hands get moisterised too in the process. i also use moisteriser independently now to make my skin softer and look younger.

An added bonus is that i have discovered longer nails work better with typing.

Mistress is also very particular about teeth. When i was younger i was lucky because my parents forced me to wear braces. i didn't feel lucky at the time mind you! But thanks to the braces my teeth are in good shape in my mouth.

But one of my few initiatives since becoming a gurl was to buy toothpaste for whitening. It has been amazing! Within a few months i have lost the yellowy smile and now have something more akin to a film star. i can tell you that men are much happier to stick their cocks into the mouth of a girl with clean white teeth to somebody who looks like their dentures have been transplanted from a zombie movie.

Mistress also persuaded me to regularly chew minty gum which means i always have fresh breath. i think we all know that nice smelling breath makes a much better impression on people!

Posture

There are so many things that Mistress Scarlett Thorne has taught me and forced me to do to become more feminine in the way i conduct myself. She spent many hours teaching me various ways of walking like a girl. She put an end to the slouching, shuffling man She first met.

i now sit like a girl. i keep my knees together or legs crossed. When you have a dress it focusses the mind on not sitting with your legs apart, nasty male habit.

Mistress has also forced me to hold y shoulders back, stick my boobs out, hold my stomach in and stick my bum out. i need to look good and sexy to attract men. Actually when i had a photoshoot recently, Mistress literally manhandled, manipulated and punched me to get the right posture. It was very uncomfortable and painful but totally worth it!

These are just some of the ways i have physically changed. i could mention the voice as well, which i have consciously had it make higher and more feminine. This is quite a tough physical exercise and involves singing lots of scales.

The great thing though is that while Mistress Scarlett Thorne has taken me a long way there is always more to do and more improvements to be done. i am very luck that She never seems to tire of forcing me to become feminine in another way.

i know i am on a journey to become a proper girl who knows it may, actually hopefully, will end in surgery, but i hope from reading this blog you have realised there is so much that can be done without making an appointment with the doctor.

If you want any help or advice with your tranny or sub life e-mail me on trannyagony@live.co.uk or tweet me on @DaniTallulah

The diary of a sissy maid (1)

Mistress Scarlett Thorne has ordered me to keep a regular diary of my experiences serving Her and working in the Tranny Flat. Some of it is meant for publication to give people a flavour of what it really is like to work as a maid and a whore and be completely subject to the whims of a Superior like Mistress Scarlett Thorne.

i started the diary last week and actually it was full of drama and quite illustrative of the ups and downs of servitude.

Monday 29 July 2013
The week starts with my usual early morning arrival to get the Tranny Flat ready after the weekend. Unusually Mistress Scarlett Thorne (MST) is there and not coming back from Wales.
MST is very happy with me because of the blog i wrote for Her website over the weekend about whinging slaves. So week starts well.
She tells me to not look at Her which is normal in the morning before She puts Her make up on. When i do look at Her She lays into me with her hand to make sure i don't make the same mistake again. Have to wear my bucket on my head so i don't look while She is speaking to me.
This little ritual is all part of reinforcing the social order in the Tranny Flat ie MST at the top and me at the bottom.
Turns out to be a normal day. i clean dungeon, bathroom, kitchen and suspension room, put on the washing, do a pile of washing up and hoover.
i then pop to my "silly part time job" which pays the wages and come back again to clean up after Mistress' sessions. Ms Laura Lashes has been helping Her. Absolutely love Her long leopard print summer dress, really want to get one.
Day ends with vodka and lemonade. 

Tuesday 30 July 2013
Serving one Mistress is tough and generally terrifying a lot of the time but two is mind blowingly scary.
MST's  friend Mistress Luna comes round to help in a session. The two always try to outdo one another in cleanliness and strictness. MST hits me a few times and shouts at me that i'm not working hard enough.
i think Luna has told MST that She is too soft on me. The bruises on me would disagree but i am not one to judge.
Luna tells me off because my hair is a mess, which earns me another beating from MST. i am told to hide myself from the slave coming in because i am "in shame."
Later on i get a call from a nice Australian who wants a quick blow job, which is nice and makes me happy and another one who books for the day after.
The day is ended cleaning up the dungeon and going for a drink with Luna, MST and my best tranny pal Princess. Luna is hard but is actually be very nice and generous and insists on buying the first round. It just goes to show that Mistresses have high standards but are also very kind to those below them.

Wednesday 31 July 2013
Arrived at Tranny Flat late.  Mistress Scarlett Thorne (MST) was furious. Totally furious. She had given me permission to be a little later but was an hour after She had allowed. Some people may see these things as "play" but when MST is cross i actually get quite frightened.

MST hit me a lot shouting at me and wanting to know why things were not done. Had 15 minutes to get dungeon and suspension rooms ready. MST threatens to sack me which makes me worried. Feel a bit sad and sore from the blows.

Two hours of peace while MST abused a slave. Brushed my hair and tried to work on my website. Can't decide how to theme my website. Want to abuse slaves like MST abuses me but wonder if i am too submissive to pull it off.

Am cross with a client who had booked a 2pm session with me and not confirmed. Damn timewasters. Hate them!

MST comes out of session and is still angry this time because the washing up is not done and Mistress Luna is on Her way for another session. Mistress Luna likes things even cleaner than MST which is saying a hell of a lot. Wonder what it would be like to work for both and thought makes me nervous. 

Waiting while MST does sessions can be really boring, people don't think about that side of a dungeon and serving a Mistress but there is a lot of waiting.i keep myself busy doing chores, my nails and trying to improve my website but failing. Decide i don't like the pictures i have chosen for the site.

MST comes out of second session. Unhappy that washing is too wet and making puddles on the floor. She drags me to bath and pisses on me to show me the difference between wet and dry. The wet feels very warm on my back and MST laughs a lot. Then tells me to put on nipple clamps and put a butt plug inside as punishment. Tells me i have to work up to a very large butt plug.

i am made to wear piss soaked hair and embarrassing frilly dress which certainly makes MST very cheerful. She later allows me to change into my sexy pink lace dress. She says it is one of Her favourite dresses of mine. i like it too because it attracts men and club doorways. 

Day finishes with a big reorganisation of two work rooms, moving double beds. MST does the manly DIY stuff. i sort of flap around. MST wears goggles to protect Her eyes. She gets bvery frustrated and beats me up again to feel better. Really hurts, get a couple of bruises, but MST seems happier.

Leave 8.30pm. MST says i have been a "good gurl" and will get a butterfly sticker for my maid bucket as reward and a chastity release. Leave feeling really happy and uplifted even though it was a tough day.

i enjoy getting punished it helps me improve even though it hurts and can be frightening. But most of all i feel happy that Mistress is pleased. It means i survive another day as Her maid.

Thursday 1 August 2013

It was a day that reminded me of how fragile this existence is and one that made me very worried.

Arrived at Tranny Flat not sure if i would be allowed to serve. Mistress had been very enigmatic about it the night before. Was about to leave down hearted after She failed to answer when She texted me to tell me to hurry up.

Seems that Mistress Scarlett Thorne had been up late having some rather debauched fun and might have been suffering from a nasty hangover.
Got on with cleaning while MST went back to bed.
Was ordered to give MST a foot massage (which is my favourite task). Don't have a foot fetish but could spend and have spent hours massaging MST's feet taking Her pain into my hands. Was also told to give Her a head massage, which i got right after a while, thought MST was going to hit me at one point, but She was too hungover.
MST becomes really quite ill. It reminds me of when She has allergy problems although i think it is different.
MST is so much physically and mentally stronger than me it is always a shock to be reminded how fragile She can be. my pathetic little life is dedicated to Her now and i am really not sure what i would do if something happened to MST.
Fortunately, She recovered by the evening but was ordered to hide the Tranny Flat supply of alcohol because of Her earlier hangover.
MST bought me some beautiful nail polish for my help and awarded me another good gurl butterfly for the bucket. Really happy, but mainly because MST is well again.

Friday 2 August 2013
Week ends in total disaster. Feel utterly miserable.
Ordered to hoover suspension room and discover that the hoover is broken. It's only six months old! MST blames me because She saw me being less than careful winding cable up earlier in the week. It's the cable that's jammed.
MST is totally furious.
There is a difference between Her warm, session style anger and the the cold hard fury of when She is in a bad mood. Today is the latter and it makes me very afraid.
Fortunately find receipt go to Argos but cannot get a like for like replacement. Have to pay a little more for a new one but get them to give me a £5 voucher as an apology.
Go back to TF expecting to be sacked or at least suspended for a while. MST shouts at me when i get in and threatens me with the sack immediately if i don't get on with maiding.
Make myself busy. Wanted to cry.
Luckily, a slave comes in for session and MST works out some of Her anger on him.
Afterwards, She says i am not sacked. Huge relief!
But She cancels the two butterflies i had earned during the week and a present She has promised me for weeks and weeks. Feel crushed. my immediate reaction is that it is unfair rewards are so hard to come by from Mistress that each one is treasured. But then i think about it and i take a couple of deep breaths.
Then i feel happy again. i would do what i do for n o reward because serving MST is the greatest reward and joy i can have in my life. Anything else is a bonus. And at least i go ho,e not sacked. 

10 ways to be a gurl in your "normal" life

If there is one thing that the top London Dominatrix and uber expert in forced feminisation Mistress Scarlett Thorne likes it is home work for Her subs and slaves. This is particularly true for Her sissies and tranny sluts who are expected to continue their feminine transformation at home and work.

The process of feminisation should not, according to Mistress Thorne, end at the Tranny Flat door, it needs to be worked on and embedded in the psyche.

But for most subs and sissies this is easier said than done. For those of us who lead a double life, how do you continue as a woman when you are supposed to be a man?

The answer is that there are some surprisingly simple things you can do to secretly keep your true female identity alive and remind you what you really are.

Here are 10 suggestions, which also provide a good checklist to do the homework Mistress Scarlett Thorne expects:

1. Sit on the toilet to pee like a woman - That thing between your legs is a clitoris not a cock to be waved around! So sit or crouch like a woman whenever you have to go. This is the easiest thing to do and can be done in private. It will also make your partner happier because you won't be making all those nasty splashes in the little girl's room.

2. Start only drinking beverages that are properly feminine - Helpfully i have provided you already with a guide to this which you can find by clicking here. Remember it is not what you drink but how you drink!

3. Stop taking showers and soak in the bath instead - Have a long, relaxing time in the bath preferably with soothing salts and balms as well as bubble bath.
Washing is not just for cleaning at speed it is something to linger over and appreciate. Think of all the times you have heard a girl using the excuse "I need to wash my hair." Being in the bath allows you to run your hands up and down your body and make you feel that much more sexy.

4. Shave your pussy - What i am saying here is shave your arse crack, to put it crudely. In reality it is your pussy and a sexy girl's pussy is always prepared to attract cock.
But on a practical level this is a great place to shave if you don't want to be obvious about shaving. They don't describe it as the place where the sun don't shine for nothing!
For more advice on tactical shaving click here.

5. Wear male clothes in girlie colours - my best tranny friend @PrincessTST gave me this idea after she had the great fortune to go shopping with the amazing Mistress Scarlett Thorne the other day. Princess needed some boy clothes for work and other vanilla scenarios but wanted to be as feminine as possible. So she chose the most feminine colours available, mostly red as far as i could tell.
But this is something that can be done by us all. Next time you see a guy in a suit with a pink shirt just make a mental note that "he" might have read my blog.

6. Read the fashion pages not the sports news - If you're going to think like a girl you need to start filling your head with things which will be interesting in female company. While many people think newspapers are dead wood, they are happily ubiquitous with a variety of things covered which means they provide perfect cover.
The trick is not to turn to the back page for the sport or the middle ones for the business (yawn!!!). Think feminine subjects. Get a paper with a good women's section or decent fashion pages. Check out health stories and find out make up tips.

7. Get a handbag and tell everyone it is a "man" bag - The one good thing about male fashion is that it is slowly feminising but pretending not to. The invention of man bags to carry papers and other stuff around to and from work is a perfect example of this. Get one, you know it's really a handbag and, as a gurl, you can carry it with pride!

8. Use lip moisteriser and face cream - Most of us cannot go around with make-up on in our normal lives but there are things you can do to get the feeling you are painting your face, while doing it a bit of good. So treat your face with cream and moisteriser. The best thing to carry around is the lip moisteriser which is just like lipstick but can be passed off as dealing with a dry lip problem. Lipstick needs regular topping up so remember to moisterise your mouth at every opportunity.

9. Never sit with your legs apart - This is a disgusting selfish male habit and SO SO unladylike! It's all about showing your manhood and taking as much territory as he can spreading out interfering with other people's personal space and cramping them up. Start sitting with your legs demurely clamped together. Remember modesty below the waste and thrust your chest forward a bit, that's the way to get admirers. Most importantly though you are sitting there thinking you are a woman.

10. Do the house work - You should be considerate and do this anyway. So many men though think that they can get away with cooking the odd meal and pretending to be skilled at DIY (i have yet to meet a man who can match this boast!).
Think like a woman, take pride in a clean house and start believing you are the maid in your own home. You may not be wearing a dress when you do it but metaphorically you will be.
At the same time you should abandon DIY. It is not something that should interest you much and it robs you of the pleasure of getting a real handyman round to do the work on your plumbing.

The great thing about all these tips is that you can do them without anybody suspecting you are being a gurl.

But the other thing is that they will make your partner happy. After all you will be cleaning up and helping out, keeping your stuff tidy in your new bag, not making a mess missing around the toilet, respecting people's personal space and able to talk about things which interest women.

This guide is a win, win all round for everyone in both your lives.

If you have any questions about being a tranny or a sub email me at trannyagony.live.co.uk or contact me on Twitter on @DaniTallulah